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Articles / Applying to College / Letter of Support for Child Facing College Dismissal?

Letter of Support for Child Facing College Dismissal?

Sally Rubenstone
Written by Sally Rubenstone | July 5, 2010

Question: Can I write a supporting letter for a child who is appealing college dismissal?

It's not clear to me if you're talking about a letter supporting your own child or someone else's (e.g., your employee, a neighbor, former student, etc.). But, in either case, the answer is yes.

If it's your own son or daughter who is appealing a college dismissal, then, ideally, the letter you write will supply specific information that will help the adjudicators to see this child in a positive light. In other words, don't simply provide a list of laudatory adjectives ("hardworking," "compassionate," etc.) but also give examples (recent ones, if possible) to back up your claims.

If appropriate, try to also offer information that your child might not be likely to share that may have spurred an ordinarily law-abiding student to act out. However, if it's information that's potentially mortifying to your child, you should check with him or her first before revealing it. Details about serious homefront problems and parental misdeeds would fall front and center in this category. But, on the other hand, don't try to excuse bad behavior by suggesting that it was spawned by "problems" that are more routine than traumatic.

Yet, often the most effective letters of support come from those with less bias than a parent. This list could include a teacher, college administrator, employer, coach, member of the clergy, etc. Again, specific examples always trump more general lists of positive traits.

If it is your child who is under the gun, and you have not done so already, try offering alternatives to the dismissal, if it looks like the ruling isn't going your way. For instance, how about a semester or year away, either working, volunteering, or attending a different college? How about returning on probation?

Many colleges have zero-tolerance policies in certain areas (e.g., drugs, cheating, violence) that are hard to overturn. But in some situations, there is wiggle room, so a student who seems contrite and eager to take responsibility for the infraction (but not repeat it) may make a successful appeal. It's hard to weigh in effectively without knowing any of the details, but I wish you well as you proceed.

Written by

Sally Rubenstone

Sally Rubenstone

Sally Rubenstone knows the competitive and often convoluted college admission process inside out: From the first time the topic of college comes up at the dinner table until the last duffel bag is unloaded on a dorm room floor. She is the co-author of Panicked Parents' Guide to College Admissions; The Transfer Student's Guide to Changing Colleges and The International Student's Guide to Going to College in America. Sally has appeared on NBC's Today program and has been quoted in countless publications, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, USA Weekend, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, Newsweek, People and Seventeen. Sally has viewed the admissions world from many angles: As a Smith College admission counselor for 15 years, an independent college counselor serving students from a wide range of backgrounds and the author of College Confidential's "Ask the Dean" column. She also taught language arts, social studies, study skills and test preparation in 10 schools, including American international schools in London, Paris, Geneva, Athens and Tel Aviv. As senior advisor to College Confidential since 2002, Sally has helped hundreds of students and parents navigate the college admissions maze. In 2008, she co-founded College Karma, a private college consulting firm, with her College Confidential colleague Dave Berry, and she continues to serve as a College Confidential advisor. Sally and her husband, Chris Petrides, became first-time parents in 1997 at the ripe-old age of 45. So Sally was nearly an official senior citizen when her son Jack began the college selection process, and when she was finally able to practice what she had preached for more than three decades.

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