Nov. 24, 2020
One week remains in November. What a year this has been ... and what a year it still is! High school seniors who have applied Early Decision (ED) or Early Action (EA) don't need any more drama, that's for sure, but turning the calendar page to December opens the curtain to decision time.
Dealing with rejection is difficult. Many high school students tend to take being turned down by a college personally. They think the admission office's bad-news letter, email or portal post is really saying, regardless of how diplomatically its words are posed, "You are deficient and we don't want to have anything to do with you." Nothing could be further from the truth!
In many cases, some denied students could have done as well, if not better, than those who were accepted. One famous dean of admission once said that his university received so many outstanding applications that he didn't have the heart to send rejection letters. He noted that placing these fine young men and women on the waitlist was his way of saying, "We should have admitted you, but we didn't have room." In reality, everyone who is good enough to get in isn't always offered admission.
Being denied from a college or university doesn't make you a failure. Unfortunately, some high school seniors see themselves in a less than positive light when they read the bad news from a first-choice school. Rationalizing rejection is difficult, so how can you deal with it?
Here are some tips that you ED/EA seniors — and juniors who will be exploring ED/EA next fall — may find useful in dealing with some of those December D words.
This advice is mainly for seniors who are considering ED/EA II: Develop a reasonable list of college candidates. This may be old news to some of you, but it's surprising how many seniors overlook the obvious advantages of creating a candidate list that is not ridiculously top heavy. A typical top-heavy list might include the usual suspects: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT, Williams, Amherst, Swarthmore and so on. Sometimes applicants will throw in a hastily picked "safety" just in case. A spread like this is way out of balance.
However, if your overall profile compares favorably with previously admitted students at your candidate colleges (stats about this are usually available on college websites), you may have a chance of getting in. Don't just go by numbers alone, though. There are also the essays, your recommendations, your "marketing" efforts and those ever-present intangibles. These can make a significant difference in your favor.
The strategy here is to minimize the number of schools from which you might be rejected. That seems obvious, doesn't it? You'd be surprised how many seniors load up on low-percentage candidates. Notice that I said "minimize" rather than "eliminate." You should include some risk ("reach") candidates. The unpredictability of highly selective admissions is such that sometimes even apparently marginal candidates get in.
Let's say that your Plan A consists of an Early Decision application to your first-choice school. Most top-level ED programs have a deadline of November 1-15. Since your ED application should represent your best application efforts, you'll already have the material in place to execute your Plan B applications if (or when) they become necessary.
If you followed the "spread" advice above, you should have a nice selection of possibilities on deck ready to go, in case Plan A (a thumbs up from ED/EA) doesn't go as planned. One tactical error many seniors make is not having their full candidate list assembled before they send in their ED or EA applications. There's a four-to-six week waiting period for finding out about early applications. They go in by early November and colleges send out their decisions by mid-December. Once you get your decision, here are some smart things to do if you have to deal with some of those "D" words.
Being deferred is like holding your breath for more than three months. However, you have some "marketing" options available that can help. Self-marketing is all about finding a key contact at the school that has deferred or wait-listed you and sharing information with them about your additional accomplishments and passion for that school.
In most cases, this person will be the regional admissions representative for your area of the country. You can find out who they are in several ways. First, you can check the school's website. Some pages may have the admission officers' names, their geographic assignment, and (if you're really lucky) their email address. If this information isn't available on the school's website, then you'll have to call the admissions office.
Once you have located your admissions rep, you need to communicate your continued interest and do some self-promotion. This should be done by letter or email. The purpose of this is to:
Many times, disappointing outcomes can lead to positive lessons in life, and often better results. If, after the dust settles on your college process, you find yourself feeling disheartened about what happened, take a little time to feel disappointed about not getting into your most-desired school(s). It's perfectly natural to feel bad. Don't dwell on it, though, and, by all means, don't develop an obsessive attitude about it.
Don't hate those schools and see dark clouds whenever you see or hear the names of the school(s) that denied you. Don't view your peers who did get in as undeserving or elitist. Accept the fact that you didn't make the cut — for whatever reason — and get on with your life. Welcome those schools that have welcomed you. Select the one that best suits your needs and prepare to have a great college experience!
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