April 21, 2020
With a little effort, organization and garden-variety Google skills, you can gather all the information you require without tipping your hand to admission officers. For each college that your son is considering, use the website to find phone numbers or email addresses for the health services and the disability services departments (the latter will be called by different names at different schools.) Depending on the specifics of your son's conditions, you may need the assistance of one of these offices or both. The former will focus on medical concerns, of course. The latter is where you'll go for accommodations, although this office often serves as the “general contractor" that can help you coordinate all of your son's special needs. Simply contact the appropriate office and explain the situation. The disabilities services office can tell you not only what assistance is available but also what sort of documentation your son will require to receive this assistance, if he matriculates. It's very possible that you won't ever have to disclose your son's name, but — if you do — rest assured that his privacy will be respected.
Note also that students frequently go beyond the immediate college community for medical treatment. Even if there are adequate resources on campus, you may find — as many parents do — that preferable options exist nearby. Your hometown practitioners may be able to point you in the right direction.
You can also find school-specific discussion forums on College Confidential and post a general query there, asking if other families have used the health or disability services at that particular school and — if so — whether they were satisfied. Unless your history on CC reveals personal data that might point right to your son (e.g., where you live, his extracurricular endeavors), then you should be able to maintain your privacy here as well.
If your son's college list is long, your research could be time-consuming, but it will definitely help you to confirm whether his target schools offer appropriate care for him without disclosing his medical conditions to admission committees.
If you'd like to submit a question to College Confidential, please send it along here.