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Explaining Effect of Grandmother's Death on Grades

Written by Sally Rubenstone | March 4, 2013

Question: In the first semester senior year, I experienced the loss of my grandmother (she passed away). My grandmother and I were really close, and her passing away greatly impacted my life personally. As a result, I had problems, and this had an impact on my first semester senior year grades (my mid year report). I don't think my mid year report accurately reflects my normal performance in school. Should I send a brief note to college adcoms regarding this matter?

I'm very sorry for your loss. My own son, a 10th grader, lost his grandmother in November (she was my mother-in-law) and I do understand the stress and sorrow that this brings to a family.

So it's fine to send a brief note to admission committees to explain your situation. Be sure to point out to the admission committees, as you have to me, that you and your grandmother were very close. And, if her death was not only sad but also disruptive to your school routine, you can explain this, too (e.g. if you missed more than a day or two of school to visit her or to attend a funeral, if you spent extra hours with her during her final days, or if she moved into your home).

In addition, a short letter from your school counselor that points out your atypical grades and their tie to your grandmother's death may carry a little more clout than your own note alone. If you have a good relationship with your counselor and think that he or she might have the time and willingness to write on your behalf, it can't hurt to ask.

Again, my condolences to you and to your family.

(posted 3/4/2013)

Sally Rubenstone

Sally Rubenstone knows the competitive and often convoluted college admission process inside out: From the first time the topic of college comes up at the dinner table until the last duffel bag is unloaded on a dorm room floor. She is the co-author of Panicked Parents' Guide to College Admissions; The Transfer Student's Guide to Changing Colleges and The International Student's Guide to Going to College in America. Sally has appeared on NBC's Today program and has been quoted in countless publications, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, USA Weekend, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, Newsweek, People and Seventeen. Sally has viewed the admissions world from many angles: As a Smith College admission counselor for 15 years, an independent college counselor serving students from a wide range of backgrounds and the author of College Confidential's "Ask the Dean" column. She also taught language arts, social studies, study skills and test preparation in 10 schools, including American international schools in London, Paris, Geneva, Athens and Tel Aviv. As senior advisor to College Confidential since 2002, Sally has helped hundreds of students and parents navigate the college admissions maze. In 2008, she co-founded College Karma, a private college consulting firm, with her College Confidential colleague Dave Berry, and she continues to serve as a College Confidential advisor. Sally and her husband, Chris Petrides, became first-time parents in 1997 at the ripe-old age of 45. So Sally was nearly an official senior citizen when her son Jack began the college selection process, and when she was finally able to practice what she had preached for more than three decades.