I understand your frustration, but—as far as I know (and I definitely don't know for sure!)--no high school is required to offer an AP exam when the corresponding course is not taught there.
While, in most cases, it would seem easy for a school's AP coordinator to order an extra exam for a homeschooled student, there are complications when it comes to the Music Theory test. Because it includes sight-singing and listening to recorded music, the test would require a separate administration by a proctor who is very familiar with its logistics (which is unlikely in a school where AP Music Theory isn't available). Thus, a homeschooled Music Theory student can't sit quietly in the corner taking the test on her own the way she might if she'd self-studied a subject like English Lit or chemistry.
Your best bet would be to call the College Board again and ask for names of specific schools where the AP Music Theory class is offered. Meanwhile, because you may get tangled in red tape as you wrangle with the College Board, I suggest contacting private schools—if you haven't already—and, especially schools (both private and public) with an arts focus. (e.g., See https://www.niche.com/k12/search/best-schools-for-the-arts/ ) Your daughter may have to travel to take the exam, but perhaps you can turn a test-taking junket into a college-visit junket too.
If you're going to take this approach, do jump on it right away since the delivery of these exams doesn't seem to work like Amazon Prime. ;-) High schools have to order AP exams well in advance of the test dates.
And if you haven't already done so, post this query on the College Confidential Home Schooling forum to see what other families in similar straits have done in the past.
Good luck!
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