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I've been seeing a lot of pleas for help in, i cant get a girlfriend/boyfriend. For chrissakes u guys are kids. there are more important things in life. I know society makes it seem that way, but u dont need a bf or gf to be happy. ive never had one, and I'm happy. devote your life to something you love. I love theater, i devote it to that, so much that relationships are unappealing to me and seem like a waste of time.

Anyway what is a bf or gf more than an intimate friend. I know you guys have friends. Why do you want more than that? you end up breking up with a broken heart at the end anyway, thats no fun. You'll have pleanty of time to choose a life partner in the future, for now, worry about yourself, make yourself happy. When you are older you can sacrifice your life for others. For now, be selfish.

By Reject (Reject) on Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - 11:04 pm: Edit

sorry but you must be extremely anti-social or damn ugly to make an assertion like that. I'd rather not further pursue this post because it seems futile to argue with one such as yourself

By Jennyzsong (Jennyzsong) on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 12:01 am: Edit

lol if you want to be naive.

the truth is most of us have hormones.

By The_Slc_Bug (The_Slc_Bug) on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 12:12 am: Edit

There is nothing more important in life than love, dude. Not even Yale.

By Almostdead (Almostdead) on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 12:47 am: Edit

i like that idea, Bug =)

By Minibrit (Minibrit) on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 08:07 pm: Edit

well u dont need to be in a relationship to deal with your hormones. And its stupid to be in a relationship just for sex. if u want sex u can get it, you dont need to lead someone on and pretend that you like them to get sex.

Jeez, assuming I'm ugly. thats nice.

By Nova_Satori (Nova_Satori) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 04:07 am: Edit

I'm with minibrit.

Very few relationships last through college, which is where almost all of us here are going.

Unless you're extrememly tenacious about it....forget it.

Do you REALLY want ANOTHER distraction when you got all ur aps and senior junk to worry about?

By Yellowcard05 (Yellowcard05) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 10:21 am: Edit

As long as you keep it in check, HS relationships are okay. I have friends who have rearranged their lives and moved in with their girlfriend/boyfriend before high school is over, and then I have friends who refuse to apply to the same schools as their boyfriends because they don't want it to affect their decision. It's all about prioritizing.

And being "ugly" has nothing to do with anything...I know some really attractive people who have never had boyfriends/girlfriends.

By Mahras (Mahras) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 05:23 pm: Edit

LOOK I DON'T CARE WHETHER MY RELATIOSHIP WIT MY GIRL LASTS ME TILL COLEEGE OR NOT.

Have you seen the study which shows that kids who don't go out or are against dating the opposite sex........turns out they have a bad social life in COLLEGE. I can balance my GPA, SAT and teams in a very, very demanding hs. I think people can do that too.

I dont know about you but I sure want a good social life in college. PLUS WE HAVE HORMONES DAMNIT!!!!!!

By Yellowcard05 (Yellowcard05) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 05:26 pm: Edit

Simmer down now...

By Mahras (Mahras) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 05:34 pm: Edit

yeah, thanx for the advice.....I have a gf and I try hard to balance my social and acdemic life. When I saw this thread I was pissed a hell as the original post was basically calling me a damned jerk.

By Minibrit (Minibrit) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 07:09 pm: Edit

Mahras, there is more to life than a "social life" And if all you care about is your "social life" then maybe you should rethink college. You go to college to learn, not to continue highschool part 2. Thats rather immature.

ANd yes i understand we have hormones. But you dont need to be dating someone and leading them on in order to "calm" those hormones. Heck you can even calm them by yourself if no one is willling to help you.

By Number9 (Number9) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 01:15 am: Edit

Minibritt, I was saying the exact same thing before I fell in love...

Not a sexual kind of love. I could not have sex with her, or even not kiss her and still be in bliss. I think thats love...just wanting to be by a person and getting this unexpicable feeling from it nonstop.

Oh well, everyone has their own definition of love, some people's are more superficial than other's...

By Chim_Chim (Chim_Chim) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 01:18 am: Edit

"Mahras, there is more to life than a "social life" And if all you care about is your "social life" then maybe you should rethink college. You go to college to learn, not to continue highschool part 2. Thats rather immature."

Yeah, because you don't need social skills in the workplace.
Social Skills + Academic Skills = successful person
Academic Skills but no social skills = loser


"ANd yes i understand we have hormones. But you dont need to be dating someone and leading them on in order to "calm" those hormones. Heck you can even calm them by yourself if no one is willling to help you."

Leading them on? If you're having sex, how are you leading them on? And you wouldn't know, but: sex > "calming yourself"

By Mahras (Mahras) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 01:28 am: Edit

Chim_chim is the best.....minibrit you gotta understand successful ppl kno how to balance social and academics. Maybe you can't I dont kno you, but dont think that other ppl can't either.
My cousin had, I presume, the best social life of the decade. Guess what which college he is in now. MIT. The valedictorian of our class (we send like 50 kids to ivy league) also is one of the most popular and has a great social life.
Some ppl have trouble understanding these issues.
Plus, you don't necessarily need to have sex if you have a gf....you are supposed to like him/her as a person....but ofcourse, physically he/she needs to meet your expectation.

Therefore the formula as chim chim provided:

Social life+ Academics= Successful person (good college)

Academics+ NO personality whatsoever outside of books= LOSER (P.S. the last years valedictorian was of this kind....he got rejected from the best university and ha to go to brandeis which is good.....the salutatorian went to Harvard....the person was cool too)

By Minibrit (Minibrit) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 02:59 pm: Edit

Number 9,though i dont believe in love i feel that if you fall in love, good for you. But it should just happen, you shouldnt force it, you shouldnt go out looking for it. Thats what i meant.

Chim Chim, it depends on the occupation. If you want to be a receptionist, then you need social skills. If you want to be a reasearch doctor, i doubt you need great social skills. And I'm sure that by social skills the kid meant "party, popularity, etc" and not "the ability to get along with people" which is the type of social skills necessary to succeed in life.

By "leading them on" I meant dating someone. When in a relationship, at least one of the partners thinks that the relationship has potential. If you are just in it for sex, then you'll be hurting your partner who actually cares about more than that.

Mahras, i know sex isnt necessary, but the guy said he wanted a gf because he has hormones, thats why i refereed to sex.

By Jenlikewhoa (Jenlikewhoa) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 03:49 pm: Edit

minibrit i think your right about the love thing, you definitely should not go out and look for it and try to make it happen. then your going to settle for something less than what you could have (aka lust). i think that if your lucky enough to fall in love with someone during high school then by all means cherish that, but true love finds you.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 10:03 pm: Edit

i love being in love. i do. having a crush is also the best thing in the world. the anticipation, the drama, the hope. having a bf, someone who's totally dedicated to u and is just as cool.

I respect those that dont have bfs or whatever in highschool cause theyre of coarse doing their own thing.
I just think they should also respect those that DO date and like being with members of the opposite sex.
Sayin that ppl on this board that want a bf/gf arent happy otherwise and dont focus on school is total crap. Cause we do.

To whoever agrees with the post/started it: I think im like a lotta ppl here. I have my grades, ECs, friends all in check and im quite content with that. Wanting something else doesnt make us weird or pathetic.

By Iceman370 (Iceman370) on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 03:48 am: Edit

I'm with minibrit....slighlty. first off, friends with bennies works just as well (wanna hang out, mini? haha, kidding...), but I've had gfs in the past, and I enjoy them. relationships are a good experience and steady companionship is just plain nice. the REAL problem with all these posts is that it shows how WORRIED you are about it. oh sure it makes everyone anxious. but seriously, relax and show some backbone, and you too may eventually get a date with the president of the AV club.....

By Iceman370 (Iceman370) on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 03:50 am: Edit

to clarify what I meant: those who are posting about b/f/gf issues don't HAVE them because they're WAAAAY to nervous about it. confidence is key

By Gymnasium1 (Gymnasium1) on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 12:37 pm: Edit

I like having a girlfriend...she's there when I'm feeling down and out with the stresses of senior year (she's a sophmore)...the sex(ual) part is a small part but it's still a part...it's important to learn these types of relationship skills for later in life even if you think you'll never use them...now I'm just ranting...anyone else?

By Minibrit (Minibrit) on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 08:48 pm: Edit

friends with bennies, lol i think ill use that it reminds me of beanie babies lol. But i dunno i heard u cheat so....

But yeah these people need to learn that there are more important things in life than having a boyfriend. Feel bad? remember that theres people who cant get a boyfriend. remember that theres people starving, dying of cancer, etc.

By Iceman370 (Iceman370) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 05:03 am: Edit

hey! first off, I was mostly joking in that post. second, I'v never cheated on a GF before. finally, I hate to ruin it for you, but you can't really "cheat" on a friend with benefits. so there

By Majinjou1 (Majinjou1) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 03:04 pm: Edit

How sad, people are using the hormone excuse.

By Minibrit (Minibrit) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 06:53 pm: Edit

I meant cheating on tests....

and yeah u can cheat on friends with benefits if you have an agreement to be monotonous (is that what its called? i dont even know)

By Iceman370 (Iceman370) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 02:01 am: Edit

oh, good point. you really shouldn't cheat on a partner that you have an agreement to be boring with. because then things might get exciting. I've never cheated on tests, and any fwb that you agree to be with exclusively is NOT a friend with benefits. it's a bf or a gf. come on!

By Minibrit (Minibrit) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 10:43 pm: Edit

no its not because theres no emotion involved and no one knows about it

By The_Slc_Bug (The_Slc_Bug) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 11:04 pm: Edit

Minibrit, you call people "immature" for even entertaining the idea of having a significant other. That is the most immature point of view I have ever heard; look at your parents, and think how ridiculous that is. Many people get married to their high school s/o and stay together (I know many personally), because even at the young age of 18, they were mature enough to have a solid relationship. When you're older and more mature, you'll understand love and realize how wrong you were. Go ask some adults to explain it to you.

By The_Slc_Bug (The_Slc_Bug) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 11:05 pm: Edit

And I think you mean monogamous, not monotonous.

By Labyrinth5 (Labyrinth5) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 05:06 pm: Edit

Minibrit, I think you need to accept that everyone is different. Some people are ready and wanting to pursue a relationship in high school while some aren't and either way it's okay. It's not right to judge whether or not high schoolers should have relationships in high school.

By Usna_Reject (Usna_Reject) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 09:59 pm: Edit

I would enjoy being single if I chose to be, as in if I wanted to start dating again I would go ahead. Instead I just am single, never get asked out and vise versa. I never experienced teenage dating and I feel that is a big gap in my life, even if I'm only 17. But I do know that your grades and your gpa don't guarantee success in the future.

By Aim78 (Aim78) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 12:43 am: Edit

Right now I probably wouldn't date anyone who doesn't resemble Natalie Portman. My standards are way too high.

Once I go off to college and I'm free, I'll lower the standards and have fun. I think some high school couples are ridiculous, the guy is 5'1", the girl 5'5", neither have fully reached puberty, but yet they still hold hands and kiss.

By Usna_Reject (Usna_Reject) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 12:54 am: Edit

she is very very pretty, and a harvard grad too

By Drago (Drago) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 01:33 am: Edit

"you end up breking up with a broken heart at the end anyway, thats no fun."

How do you know that? I mean, hell, I could die tomorrow. I wanna date now, even if I won't marry the person. I mean, think about it, you need to be able to do certain things while dating, and, for some people, you've got to LEARN those things. EG-Compromise, humor, etc. Dating doesn't have to be "finding a lifemate"! It could just be gaining social experience, meeting new people, etc. A lot of guys I've dated have ended up my best friends because we didn't work out...but we had enough in common so we decided to keep up a friendship.

There's more to dating than finding someone to marry.

"You'll have pleanty of time to choose a life partner in the future, for now, worry about yourself, make yourself happy."

What if having someone to snuggle up to when you're feeling down is what you honestly want? I know I don't need someone to make me feel better, but when I am stressed out (usually doing school/theatre) I like to cuddle up with someone...having a bf makes it much easier (and sometimes it can just be damned lonely to have to cuddle up on the couch yourself).

There are a good deal of studies that prove that human touch can effect you in good ways. (Good touching=happy thoughts, etc.) So hugging/holding someone can help people out.

"When you are older you can sacrifice your life for others. For now, be selfish."

Nah.

"Mahras, there is more to life than a "social life" And if all you care about is your "social life" then maybe you should rethink college. You go to college to learn, not to continue highschool part 2. Thats rather immature."

Actually, when you live you learn. You have your whole damned life to learn. College is about gaining necessary social skills, too.

And, there's more to life than learning, or even the passion you have for such things as theatre. Without someone (bf, gf, friend, etc.) to be there for you, you'll burn out.

It is extreme to say that having relationships is "just a strain". IN some cases, yes, that's all they are--bad relationships can do that. Most people, however, have decent/good/great relationships which HELP them rather than hinder them.

On the other hand, it is also extreme to say that everyone should date in High School. Some people just don't care/want to/whatever.

Hormones...you don't need sex to satisfy them. Sometimes being with someone can help you. Hormone satisfaction is not the same thing as sex all the time. Especially guys, who reach their sexual peak at the age of 18, most teenagers are drawn to find someone. It's partly an animal instict, yes, but we're all animals (sentient ones, but still animals nonetheless).

I think the reason this thread was started was that there is a stereotype that states that all High School relationships are draining, disasterous things that tear teenagers appart. You know, people go into relationships for a reason...because it can be a good thing.

And what's wrong with asking for help on relationships? What's wrong at being frustrated because you can't get a bf/gf? What's wrong with being upset because you lost someone?

These are all very human emotions. Why reject them? They can be painful, yes, but they are a part of almost every human. Even "kids".

drago

By Soulofheaven8 (Soulofheaven8) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 09:54 am: Edit

Well said drago.

By Number9 (Number9) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 02:35 pm: Edit

I think Minibrit will change her views once she is smitten by the right guy that comes along...

By Fiza (Fiza) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 10:52 pm: Edit

For me guys in highschool is more like a "hobby". If I dont insult ur wanting to play the piano, for example, then why should u insult me wanting to date?

By Becks777 (Becks777) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 11:19 pm: Edit

Drago, your posts are longer than a dragon's tail

By Drago (Drago) on Sunday, January 04, 2004 - 12:20 am: Edit

Becks777-I know, I can't help it.

drago

By Frozentears801 (Frozentears801) on Monday, January 05, 2004 - 01:40 am: Edit

I'm with Minibrit. Not having a bf/gf doesn't automatically make you socially incompetent. Not choosing to have a bf/gf doesn't make you an emotional ice sculture. I've been in love, and my academics have always spiraled out of control when I am. Although I've never asked anyone out, several people have asked me out. I always turn them down, because I know what my priorities are. I'm not a prodigy like some of you, who have 4.0s, 1600 SATs and do 3 sports and well as work in soup kitchens on weekends and can get into Stanford without breaking a sweat. So I need to spend even more time working toward my goals.

I understand that all of us do have hormones, but what you do when they flare up is, you crush them. If you can't do that by yourself, get a close friend to help you do it.

By Shhh (Shhh) on Monday, January 05, 2004 - 06:10 pm: Edit

Usna, its odd because we think its such a big deal today, but once we get to college no one dates....Odd.... I dont know if its because of maturity or immaturity, but it makes it feel like thse relationships in highschool were so pointless and empty.

Aim, if your standards are portman I would not call them high lol...

"Dating doesn't have to be "finding a lifemate"! It could just be gaining social experience, meeting new people, etc. "

Uh yeah thats what FRIENDS are for.

"And what's wrong with asking for help on relationships? What's wrong at being frustrated because you can't get a bf/gf? What's wrong with being upset because you lost someone? "

There is nothing wrong with it, I just find it very sad that you would occupy your time worring about such trivial matters.

"For me guys in highschool is more like a "hobby". If I dont insult ur wanting to play the piano, for example, then why should u insult me wanting to date? "

Treat people like objects of entertainment and they will do the same to you in return.

By Purgeofdoors (Purgeofdoors) on Monday, January 05, 2004 - 06:45 pm: Edit

HAMLET
Will you play upon this pipe?

GUILDENSTERN
My lord, I cannot.

HAMLET
I pray you.

GUILDENSTERN
Believe me, I cannot.

HAMLET
I do beseech you.

GUILDENSTERN
I know no touch of it, my lord.

HAMLET
'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with your lingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

GUILDENSTERN
But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony; I have not the skill.

HAMLET
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass: and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Never again compare relationships to playing a musical instrument. I agree with Shhh, It just doesn't work like that.

By Demonllama (Demonllama) on Monday, January 05, 2004 - 09:26 pm: Edit

eek, please no more Hamlet, I just finished reading/writing an essay about that over break.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Monday, January 05, 2004 - 09:57 pm: Edit

People love their instruments. I have hobbies that I also couldn't live without and mean a lot to me. I didnt mean that I "use" people when I date them. I just meant that it is something some people do in high school and others dont. And in a way its like an "extracurricular" because its something that people are passionate about that takes up time that some people find very enthralling and others dont.

PS I'm sure some piano-lovers would find me comparing highschool relationships to pianos very annoying and insulting just like u thought the vica-versa was wrong.

I wasnt saying that its the same like that. For an explanation, see above.

and PPS Didnt mean to offend anybody either. sry if i did.

By Shhh (Shhh) on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 07:24 pm: Edit

"And in a way its like an "extracurricular" because its something that people are passionate about that takes up time that some people find very enthralling and others dont. "

Fiza, that is really sad

Hey did you guys know that Shakespeare created the modern definition of "love"? Damn you Shakespeare, I have lost all respect for him

By Fiza (Fiza) on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 08:15 pm: Edit

Some ppl are just bitter about love i guess. And yes on Valentines day and for the first 16 years of my life i was those ppl too.

Maybe when they either discover attraction to the opposite sex (or their own), they'll get over themselves.

By Antigone (Antigone) on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 08:23 pm: Edit

Me too Fiza. Except it was 17 years for me. But finally I do have a boyfriend and I can stop being so bitter about it. Yes, 17 years alone has taught me that I can live without a boyfriend, I can even be happy without one. But the new experiences and laughs and kisses and friends and everything else that comes with a boyfriend I wouldn't trade. It's an extension of your current life--it shouldn't become your life or take over it but merely add to it. The fact that you're tottally against it is only because you haven't experienced it. That's fine too... I'm sure it will happen for you one day--especially since you're not looking for it. But don't turn it down when it comes just because of a childish philosophy. You'll be allowing bitterness to ruin your future life.
Oh! And no I don't think high school relationships are likely to last... but you can learn alot from them.. and who cares about lasting quality? Live in the present.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 08:46 pm: Edit

Well said Antigone. You said what I wanted to say more elegantly than I ever could have. And yeah I'm that "crazy indepedent" kinda girl too. The kind of girl who never believed in love at first sight (and still dont) but then started believing in soulmates becuz of a certain someone (no..I'm single).

And dont say no to love becuz your bitter becuz then you're missing out on one of the best feelings in the world.

It's sweet while it lasts ;).

By Shhh (Shhh) on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 06:28 pm: Edit

I'm not bitter Fiza, it trully is pathetic to care that much about relationships. Its really sad. Its really immature and superficial. Its something the empty "in crowd" would worry about.

Question, how did you find this site Fiza? By your addition of Zs to every word it sounds as if you are one of those 2.0 "ghetto" kids. *I'm not calling them ghetto, thats what they label themseleves as

By Almostdead (Almostdead) on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 06:48 pm: Edit

*sigh* how can anyone describe relationships as "immature and superficial"?

is loving, sharing with, caring for another individual immature and superficial? is mutual help and growth immature and superficial? is projecting your own values onto a second person in anticipation for an evaluation immature and superficial (Maslow)?

it can also be healthy to have a high school relationship... you learn how love is really like, instead of having all these fancy ideas that you get from tv/movies etc etc... otherwise when you enter the bigger world and then you'll be overwhelmed by all these new things you need to deal with.

all in all, love is one of the most beautiful things ever...

and don't make assumptions based on the way a person types. I say "cuz" sometimes, and I had a 4.0.

By Hardcoreskier16 (Hardcoreskier16) on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 07:20 pm: Edit

I wish I was in love...any boys from Cali want to hook it up?

By Sunshine916 (Sunshine916) on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 08:14 pm: Edit

i agree with Almostdead, who, by the way, is currently a freshman at Harvard right now if i remember correctly

By Fiza (Fiza) on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 08:31 pm: Edit

Umm yeah thats it. I have a 2.0 and I'm ghetto. Well I would have to be to attach the z right?
Actually, "ghetto" is a term used by well-off ppl. The "ghetto" ppl refer to themselves maybe as thugs, not certainly not ghetto. In urban culture, ghetto is a bad thing. ghetto=broken down/shabby.

yeah, i always come to this board hoping to improve my 2.0. It hasnt worked yet.

There goes my shot at the local community college!

I'd love to stay and talk but my kids are crying.


cough *sarcasm* cough cough

By Shhh (Shhh) on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 10:01 pm: Edit

"it can also be healthy to have a high school relationship... you learn how love is really like, instead of having all these fancy ideas that you get from tv/movies etc etc... "

Well you obviously have never had one becuase your head is in the clouds.

"Actually, "ghetto" is a term used by well-off ppl. The "ghetto" ppl refer to themselves maybe as thugs, not certainly not ghetto. "

ANd their idioticness is what makes them so annoying.

By Almostdead (Almostdead) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 12:00 am: Edit

"Well you obviously have never had one becuase your head is in the clouds."

obviously your obvious observation is wrong.

By Silmon77 (Silmon77) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 12:31 am: Edit

Let me just say this: having a social life does not necessarily mean having a gf or bf. I am an Asian Indian, and am from a culture who looks down upon high school relationships. And I'm not just talking about the parents, either. If you have one, you are frowned upon by all your peers. Almost no Indian has one, but that doesnt stop us. Some of my friends go to parties every week, are great friends with hundreds of people of both sexes, and still get straight A's.

If you have a gf or bf, that can be ok, as long as your grades dont suffer. It is important to have social skills in all aspects of your life. But that does not mean you need a gf or bf to be socially active or happy. Lets just keep that in mind.

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 01:48 am: Edit

Everyone just wants someone to love. Remember that!!! If you're posting and ranting about how naive people are to want boyfriends and girlfriends..I'm sorry to break it to you but it's because you are bitter that you don't have one yourself. You are searching and reaching for any random theories to support and convince yourself that you are better off without a significant other. I have been through some relationships that turned out bad but I don't regret any of them. "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." and that is sooo true. Now i have an amazing boyfriend that I wouldn't trade for the world. He is someone that i shares my world and makes me happy when I am down. I think that deep down that is what you want but since you don't have it, you are trying to work your way around it, criticizing people that have what you want along the way.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 02:44 pm: Edit

I think its pretty immature to judge me and my intellegence based simply on my feelings toward love.

Although I'm no genius, im not stupid either. And I dont spend my time running aroud after guys.

If I dont insult your intellegence, dont insult mine. Do you REALLY think I have a 2.0 gpa and live in the ghetto just because I believe in high school relationships?

(Yes, I'm looking for an actual answer).

By Usna_Reject (Usna_Reject) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 04:59 pm: Edit

Nope, no problem. Sorry you had that said to you. I'm a daydreamer myself. I'm 17 and never had a bf. Though a weird case, I never cared for high school boys, I like college ones, hehe.

By Purgeofdoors (Purgeofdoors) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 06:14 pm: Edit

This conversation is really silly. Do any of you realize that through most of the history of humankind we've been marrying between the ages of 10 and 15 (and still do today in many cultures)? That love is a luxury, not a right, and many religions and groups hold it in high tradition to have predetermined marriages? After all that, doesn't it ring a little absurd that here we Westerners are having a heated argument over the legitimacy of romance at 17 or 18? Not even in Victorian times was this practice regarded as immoral or stupid.

On the counterpoint, it's equally as disturbing to hear testimonials from 'young girls in love' talk about their frat boy boyfriends who are somehow "different" from all other frat boys (a general point, not anyone in here specifically). It's all pheromones and other assorted chemicals, people. Lighten up.

And if I hear another ad hominem against this - fairly balanced - point of view, I will label the lot of you into Mattistotle's clan.

One more thing... I can't concur with what Fhmami says about "people who disagree with me are just bitter because they can't get bfs or gfs". Please. Some people on here are probably bitter, but more are desperate, and I certainly don't think I'm in either group. As I said before, I do just fine socially, ty.

- my $0.02

By Shhh (Shhh) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 08:23 pm: Edit

"Everyone just wants someone to love. Remember that!!! If you're posting and ranting about how naive people are to want boyfriends and girlfriends..I'm sorry to break it to you but it's because you are bitter that you don't have one yourself. "

Lol i can have one if i was pathetic enough to want one, but i have better things to do than to waste my time on a relationship that is not even going to last. I'm definately not bitter, maybewhen i was 13 and immmature, but definately not know. I'm glad i dont have one, i wouldnt have the time to attend to one. Stop assuming. Some of us actually have a life.

" "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." and that is sooo true"

Thats BS i raise you a "ignorance is bliss." If you never know what love is, you will be happy because you will never know what you missed, and so you will not miss it.

"I think that deep down that is what you want but since you don't have it, you are trying to work your way around it, criticizing people that have what you want along the way. "

Yes I did want one when i was 13. Then i got someone who was kind of like a boyfriend and i realized that its no big deal. Then i got interested into theater and now i have no time or need for a boyfriend. I'm happy without one and i feel sorry for those who have to depend on another person in order to be happy.

"Although I'm no genius, im not stupid either. And I dont spend my time running aroud after guys."

Well you certainly make yourself sound like you do.

"If I dont insult your intellegence, dont insult mine. Do you REALLY think I have a 2.0 gpa and live in the ghetto just because I believe in high school relationships? "

I never said you live in a ghetto. I said you sound like one of those "ghetto kids" Usually these kids are well off but clasify themselves and such because they think its cool. How sad.

Purge, its about maturity level, not age. I'm sure many 12 year olds in other countries are more matue than most american 20 year olds. Also, those kids that marry early dont neccesarily do it for love but out of obligation. It is nothing like a petty highschool relationship.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 08:59 pm: Edit

Shhh,

a) I've had a job forever. I buy my own clothes, food (snacks and eating out), school stuff,movie tickets, and everything else you can think of.

You are probably a lot more spoiled than me.


b) I'm not gonna talk about my grades and "stuff" but I'm sure I'm atleast right up there with you. So dont insult my intellegence because you dont know what you're talking about. (ooh I add z's to the end of the words. I MUST be a nonblack person that thinks im black. riiite.) I'm willing to bet that my gpa and course load for this year can AT LEAST match urs yours, so dont think you're all smarter and better than me. And my SAT score doesnt suck either but thats a whole different story.

I wasnt gonna make it personal. But you're just going too far insulting everybody, accusing them for acting "13" just because they like members of the opposite sex. Stop it. You obviously have insecurity issues if you are going to go around just randomly insulting ppl.

Grow up.

Or at least get a therapist.

By Neo (Neo) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 09:24 pm: Edit

My, my, my....there are some interesting posts on this thread.

Speaking from the perspective of one who has lived the single and the connected life, True Love is worth it. But then again, some may disagree. From what I've seen and read, several posters in this thread (including Drago, AlmostDead, and Fiza) have made some rather sharp points, while several others have made equally voiced points from the opposite point of view.

However, let's try to keep this at a (reasonably) mature level.

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 09:55 pm: Edit

Shhh...how do you know that if you get in a relationship it won't last?

...so what happens when you like a boy? you can't tell me you've never liked a boy since you were 13. or maybe you can if you like members of your own sex and that's fine too, but either way, don't you ever find yourself attracted to other people?

By Shhh (Shhh) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 10:57 pm: Edit

"a) I've had a job forever. I buy my own clothes, food (snacks and eating out), school stuff,movie tickets, and everything else you can think of."

nope, youre more spoiled. I dont buy clothes or do anything else thats teenagerish. I still have clothes from 4th grade. I get clothes as presents sometimes though. The only thing i need money for ever is school stuff, and i do what i can to raise the money on my own.

") I'm not gonna talk about my grades and "stuff" but I'm sure I'm atleast right up there with you. "

I have a 3.8/4.8. I'm top 2% of my class. Its not great but I think i read somewhere that your stats werent too great either. How about you?

"just because they like members of the opposite sex."

its okay to like them. its unhealthy to obsses overthem and make them a hobby. I'm not insulting anyone. its true, it makes you look like a typical superficial highschool kid, empty, it makes you look like that, sorry. I'm not the one that needs to grow up. I'm past trivial highschool relationships.

"Shhh...how do you know that if you get in a relationship it won't last?"

highschool relationships usually dont.

"so what happens when you like a boy? you can't tell me you've never liked a boy since you were 13"

Not really, i like this one guy and hes a good friend of mine, and thats enough. I wouldnt mind a relationship with him, but im not going to stress myself looking for it. Other than that im not really interested in guys in a dating sense.

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 11:57 pm: Edit

Shhh..

Seeeee, you said you wouldn't mind a relationship with him! I never said you have to stress yourself over relationships. And my high school relationship did last, for almost a year and a half now. I don't sit here and obsess over my boyfriend, I go out with my own friends all the time and devote my time to studying also. We have a healthy relationship, it is NOT trivial. It's not like having a boyfriend brought down my grades or anyhting and its far from being pointless. And no, i don't depend on him to make me happy because I really can't complain about anyhting in my life, but I can't deny that he makes me smile.

I remember you saying that you could have a boyfriend if you were pathetic enough to want one...then why are you saying you wouldn't mind a relationship with this guy? Don't hold back your feelings or try to deny them girl, if something makes you smile, go with it!

By Neona (Neona) on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 07:24 pm: Edit

True, true...emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

Love > Hate.

Light > Darkness.

Happiness > Denial.

By Almostdead (Almostdead) on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 07:38 pm: Edit

Hmm, interesting the point having a relationship doesn't bring down the grade came up... I'd even say in some cases a relationship helps to keep you stay motivated in school (oooh esp. if you date one of the academic superstars ^^). anyone else agrees? =)

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 10:45 pm: Edit

I agree!!! My boyfriend is ranked 1st in our class and it pushes me to work harder when i see him academic success.

By Ecismyhome (Ecismyhome) on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 05:28 am: Edit

You should push harder, with a sentence like that.
'him academic success'?
;) All in good fun...

By Shhh (Shhh) on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 09:10 pm: Edit

"I remember you saying that you could have a boyfriend if you were pathetic enough to want one...then why are you saying you wouldn't mind a relationship with this guy? "

Hes the only one worth my patience. What i was talking about was people who go around this site asking for relationship help. Its healthy to like someone, but the opposite sex (or same sex) shouldnt be made into your life.

By Sunshine916 (Sunshine916) on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 09:45 pm: Edit

Hmm, interesting the point having a relationship doesn't bring down the grade came up... I'd even say in some cases a relationship helps to keep you stay motivated in school (oooh esp. if you date one of the academic superstars ^^). anyone else agrees? =)

-i most certainly agree. one of my friends dates a natural math/physics genius (lets just say he got into caltech), and she has gotten so much better at math/science. partly because he helps her, and partly because it motivates her more.

-i know back when i was dating an academic superstar (im ranked higher, but he is also very intelligent, and doesnt work nearly as hard as i do), we'd sometimes work on our homework together or projecs together (lol we're really NOT always that lame), and it would be awesome just to spend the time together-the tediousness of schoolwork was made a lot more fun. if i got stuck on a calc problem, there was always someone to call, etc.

sometimes having someone to share your life with makes you happier, and as a result, your grades go up.

By Musefinity (Musefinity) on Friday, January 16, 2004 - 02:01 am: Edit

Umm...there's nothing wrong with high schools relationships. Crap. It's not about "oh, well the statistics say we won't be together in college so let's just not date at all." All dating is relevant-whether it lasts or not--because it shows you want you want and don't want from a relationship. But secondly, I know several high school sweethearts happily married to this day so you can't just declare high school relationships meaningless across the board.

I love having the company of my boyfriend. And we're a very non-make-out-ish couple so don't even go there with the hormonal thing.

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Friday, January 16, 2004 - 06:15 pm: Edit

"Hes the only one worth my patience. What i was talking about was people who go around this site asking for relationship help. Its healthy to like someone, but the opposite sex (or same sex) shouldnt be made into your life."

...so maybe some of the people want to be as lucky as you are and find a guy that is worth their patience as well. Nobody ever said they are looking for someone to be obsessed with and made into the center of their universe

By Fiza (Fiza) on Saturday, January 17, 2004 - 08:27 pm: Edit

People make up posts about all kinds of things. Doesnt mean theyre all "obsessed" with them.

By Shhh (Shhh) on Sunday, January 18, 2004 - 11:25 pm: Edit

"...so maybe some of the people want to be as lucky as you are and find a guy that is worth their patience as well."

Sure but you shouldnt be FORCING it. Thats what i mean about obssessing, when it happens it will happen, but dont look for it. I met him by chance.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Monday, January 19, 2004 - 12:57 am: Edit

"Sure but you shouldnt be FORCING it. Thats what i mean about obssessing, when it happens it will happen, but dont look for it. I met him by chance. "

People on these boards are type A people. We dont believe in "luck" or whatever its called- we believe in making things happen. Maybe you feel like sitting on ur behind waiting for a guy to show up and sweep u off your feet, but some of just dont have the time or patience for that. And just because you met your guy by chance doesnt mean that all of us will. Some ppl can rely on that, others (myself) included cant.

Additionally, some of us women and men send off intimidating vibes to members of the opposite sex without even realizing it. Yes, it happens, and if you wait around for "luck" if you believe in that, then chances are bleak.

Plus its 2004 and the females (and the males) need to take initiative. I love the way Europeans dont hide their feelings when they like somebody. Americans need to do the same IMO.

Dont dissect everything I say. Just pay attention to the main message. You need to hear it.

By Shhh (Shhh) on Monday, January 19, 2004 - 08:19 pm: Edit

Fiza, I'm major type A too, but i realize that i dont have to get a boyfriend at 16, get engaged by 16 and half, and get married by 17. No, if you force it youre just going to end up with someone you cant stand. I dont sit on my behind wating for a guy. I dont WAIT at all, thats a waste of time, Dont worry about it, no one needs a guy to be happy and just because society tells you that you need to get married doesnt mean that its the right thing for you. Hell I dont even know if IM gonna get married.

". And just because you met your guy by chance doesnt mean that all of us will. Some ppl can rely on that, others (myself) included cant. "

How do you know? When i was younger i thought i would never get kissed so i tried to kiss this guy i liked. I never did, thank god, because i cant stand him now. A couple months later i got my first kiss (after i had gotten over the whole i need to be kissed phase). Now i realize how ridiculous it was to try to rush things.

I'm not saying to wait around for luck, im saying dont wait. Wait, and you will miss out on life.

By Neo (Neo) on Monday, January 19, 2004 - 08:26 pm: Edit

Nobody was talking about getting engaged at 16 and married at 17. Don't be ridiculous...

By Christlover (Christlover) on Sunday, March 07, 2004 - 01:20 am: Edit

Go created man and woman. Man and woman in the first place were made for each other. EVERY HUMAN BEING IS A SOCIAL BEING.

Getting into a relationshipis perfectly fine, as long as one can manage and as long as it does not violate what God intended one to do.

By Christlover (Christlover) on Sunday, March 07, 2004 - 10:07 am: Edit

**edit**

"God" created man and...

**/edit**