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just curious...how are your parents with you academic life. are they really in your face about it and pressure you to much or they dont care whatsoever? or somewhere in between...

By O71394658 (O71394658) on Sunday, June 29, 2003 - 08:11 pm: Edit

They see my report cards and mid MP-reports. They trust me, since I'm not a loser or a cheater, and they'll just give my report card a glance. They know I'm obsessed with getting into college, and they know I won't screw anything up...

By Number9 (Number9) on Sunday, June 29, 2003 - 08:24 pm: Edit

Actually, its quite ironic. My mother vowed to never pressure me through life, and never expected quite much out of me. But I do it for my own benefit. I learned to read in early preschool just by constantly nagging my mother how to spell various words with refridgerator magnets.

The same is still true today. I think she is actually annoyed by the fact sometimes that I have chosen to do some things...I think she really does care deep down though.

They see the report card, and they know that I'll be fine. They really don't care/worry too much.

By Ml41588 (Ml41588) on Sunday, June 29, 2003 - 08:34 pm: Edit

My parents really don't care all that much. They want me to succeed and do well but don't really pusth me towards it. I do really well in school but it's kind of disheartening when they really don't care or they don't want me to take advantage of any summer programs, projects, school activities, etc. I had to beg them to take and SAT prep course. It's kind of annoying when no one is there to back you up with what you think is important. Over the summer I want to work on my National History Fair project and do work on my Intel project and my parents think that I'm "antisocial" becuase of it, even though I hang it with my friends a lot. Some things I'll never understand...

By Rowan (Rowan) on Sunday, June 29, 2003 - 10:36 pm: Edit

My parents have taken a hands-off attitude with my academics; it has its causes and effects in due course.

1) My brother is taking teen life the hard way, going the major-rebel route and making their life a living hell. On top of that, he seems intent on ignoring the importance of graduating high school and leaving home to do his own thing. The net result is that their attention is greatly focused there, since he seems to be the one in dire need (squeaky wheel gets the oil and all of that).

2) Neither of my parents went to college. In fact, my dad didn't graduate high school but got an equivalency. They are hardly academic pillars for me to lean upon when I faulter, but their lives are an inspiration to mine inasmuch as I would like to end up better off than they have.

3) It has always been *my* priority, no one else's, to get good grades and keep going. I've always had a sense of the importance of this, and I guess it's helped that I've loved learning and devour books more often than dinner. My punishments are always no reading materials, to be shooed out of the house. Hahah.

4) My grandparents took care of 'financial encouragement' which ended when I entered middle school and was sufficiently bolstered to do well for my own good, and so it has continued from then on.

I had a good foundation, I think. I had to convince them that it was good for me to read novels before I was in 1st grade, and I'm still a little sorry I didn't push the learning-a-language issue more when I was younger. C'est la vie.

In any case, to simply answer the question: no bribes. They look at my report cards and rightly asses that "I would worry more about any slip in grades than they would."

It is a little sad, sometimes, when I reflect upon the fact that in theoretical knowledge, I realize more than they do. I can't get help from them on homework, and consequently I've learned not to ask for help from anyone (bad habit there, I know!). I still trust their judgment and their faith in my ability to govern myself has been far more effective than any threats or rewards they could have possibly offered.

By Gianscolere (Gianscolere) on Sunday, June 29, 2003 - 11:44 pm: Edit

Ml41588: Thank God I found someone doing history fair (otherwise known as history day) on this forum. lol Did you enjoy nationals 2003!? I didn't enjoy it that much this year. I just stayed on the Univ. of Maryland campus the whole time looking at exhibits. What category were you in? I was in senior individual exhibit this year. How many times have you gone to nationals? Are you already starting next year's project?Hmmm...lately, I've been brainstorming for topics that would fit the theme.

And now to answer your question... My parents used to be so concerned about my grades but that changed after two years or so. I'm starting to think they don't care anymore. In fact, many times, they get annoyed when I talk about college admissions more often than they want to hear about it. I just think that the earlier I start to prepare, the better.

Rowan, I'm sorry you're in that position but never give up because it will pay off eventually.

By Sixtoes (Sixtoes) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 12:07 am: Edit

gianscolere, they probably dont want to hear about college because they're realizing that youll be gone in a year or two. its a natural protectiveness thing.

By Gianscolere (Gianscolere) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 01:59 am: Edit

lol actually I'm just a freshman.

By Fyre (Fyre) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 11:44 am: Edit

Do any of your friends get paid for their grades?

A couple of my friends get paid $10 for every B and $20 for every A!!!!! Personally I think that is crazy because I always get A's and the occasional B and I don't get paid a dime... I do think its unfair though because after grades come out, they go around flashing their newly acquired money. Oh well... I guess I'm better off in the long run!

As far as how involved my parents are: well they aren't. My mom cares what I'm doing, but she doesn't stress me and her out over it. It used to be alot worse in junior high and grade school, when I got grounded for B's, but now my parents accept that in high school: CLASSES ARE A BIT HARDER!!!lol

By Yz16 (Yz16) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 11:45 am: Edit

my parents trust me a lot of the time. no sense pushign me when i'm doing my best. Plus, neither of them went to college in the US and they figure i know more than they do. true ;).

On the other hand, they care a lot and my own disappointments hurt them as much as they hurt me. I hate to see that.

So while my motivation is mostly self-propelled, there is motivation coming from my parents too through their love and support.

: )

By Jollyapplepie (Jollyapplepie) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 02:55 pm: Edit

My parents care about my grades. But, they don't push me in terms of keeping track of homework and stuff unless its near exams and I REALLY need an A.

By Nautical_2000 (Nautical_2000) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 03:15 pm: Edit

My mother cares, but has never pushed me, bribed me or encouraged me. but i'm proud to say that i have straight A's.

My mother loves to nag (mostly about clean this and that) and sometimes she's even put me down for studying too much (at least it was implied).

But I know she's a nagger and going thru menopause and that she doesn't mean a lot of the rude things she says. (I least I hope so.)

Ultimately, I plan to graduate w/ straight A's, and go off to a decent college no matter what she says or thinks.

By Number9 (Number9) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 04:20 pm: Edit

I hate when people get paid for grades. It loses the entire purpose of getting good grades in the first place.

I also hate when my school sends out its newsletters, and anyone with straight A's gets an asterisk by their name, no matter how easy their classes are.

By Sunshine916 (Sunshine916) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 05:00 pm: Edit

i get mad when people get paid $20 for each A and $10 for each B or whatever...whats the point???

i wish i got paid for my grades lol.

By Me1 (Me1) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 05:34 pm: Edit

My parents say I should chill out more... They used to refuse to reward me for grades on the grounds that they are proud as long as I do my best, but then I pretended (in a joking way) that I didn't think they were proud of me so now they'll get me something small each report card time.

By Cremebrulee (Cremebrulee) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 05:45 pm: Edit

I wish I got paid $20 for each A.... I'd be VERY rich by now (and so would almost everyone on this board.)

By Thedad (Thedad) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 06:00 pm: Edit

I would never pay for grades.

Deficient grades would be cause for a "Yap," either Grade I, Grade II, or Grade III depending on degree of deficiency and cause. D got two B's this last semester, both near run things and both with very hard graders. I'm bummed but I was very aware of how hard she had been working...there had been no slacking whatsoever...and at least one B would have been an A if she had had 30 minutes to study on a performance weekend. Karma. She has 3.9uw with most rigorous load and that puts her in the pool.

By Momof2 (Momof2) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 06:27 pm: Edit

Me either, Thedad. The most concrete encouragement we offer is - after report cards are issued, the 4 of us celebrate at a restaurant chosen by the one with the highest GPA for that grading period. No weighting allowed, since they were 4 grades apart. Grades were close enough it came out pretty even. I think S#2 will miss it when he gets to make all the choices next year.

Now the HARD part was finding one free evening for everyone once every 6 weeks or so....

By Thedad (Thedad) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 06:30 pm: Edit

Well, after a high stress run...such as the recent AP Exams/SAT II's/projects/Finals where D was running red-lined for about six weeks...there was a dinner out where she got to choose, got watch whatever DVD's she wanted, and got as much computer time as possible for playing Baldur's Gate, which is *her* stress relief. I do believe that people should get to collapase and just vegetate a bit after they've been through the wringer, if it's at all possible.

By Ml41588 (Ml41588) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 08:01 pm: Edit

srry not on topic, but in response to gianscolere:
I went to nationals in Maryland twice, it was OK, but nothing special, kind of boring. I'm looking at ideas for 2004 theme. I don't really like to do the suggested ones so i'm thinking of something original but haven't found the "perfect" one yet lol. umm...any ideas? Well good luck with yours and hope to see you at nationals if i make it that far lol. what state are you from?

By Kewkiekid (Kewkiekid) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 08:19 pm: Edit

my parents have always said they'd be happy with whatever grades i got, as long as i tried my hardest. i wish they pushed me more, because i KNOW i could have had much better grades, especially this year, if i had parents who always checked my homework, and always pushed me to get A's. although now they're pushing me to get straight A's my senior year....stupid.

By Quentin_Compson (Quentin_Compson) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 08:35 pm: Edit

Well, my parents would rather I don't study so much and go play sports or do something 'productive'. My dad actually tells me to stop reading so many books. They're telling me to go to UF (my state school) because I get a free ride, and I know they don't want to pay for college for me. I guess I'm pushing myself because I really want to get out of the house and out of Florida, but that can only happen if I get a whole lot of financial aid from a private college. Ah well .

By Gianscolere (Gianscolere) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 10:17 pm: Edit

Ml41588: Hey, I'm from IL...where are you from? I've gone to nationals for 3 years...I agree it kind of gets boring unless you have the drive to get out in super hot weather in downtown DC. My plan was to visit Georgetown University this year, but it was so hot I was like forget it. lol. Were you there this year? I only collected 10 state pins, some of them I got only from NHD crowd at the airport coming home.

I have some topics in mind, but I don't know if you'll be interested in them. You're going to find some topic eventually, something you're interested in...there's plenty of time.

My parents don't care about my grades now, but in the long run, they want me to go to HYP.

By Ceesie (Ceesie) on Monday, June 30, 2003 - 10:36 pm: Edit

my parents don't care when i do well but they give me hell when i don't. i can't stand it, their ideas about "parenting" make no sense to me. how am i supposed to stay motivated when i always have to congratulate myself??

By Noangel164 (Noangel164) on Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 07:06 pm: Edit

My parents care, but not a lot. I have learning issues, and they know that I try hard in school, although they hate it how i like never study at home. Instead during my free periods, or before sports I do my homewor/ studying.

-lissie

By Steph0503 (Steph0503) on Tuesday, July 01, 2003 - 09:43 pm: Edit

My parents care a lot about grades, but I sometimes seemed to punish myself on a few horrible grade before they see my reportcard and think they would be scolding at me. But for the most part I am the one that choses the courses I want and they just sign to approve it when it comes to course scheduling. They've just been supporters and sometimes nag a bit when I get into my habit of being lazy at times. The internet is one of my greatest addictions unfortunately.

However, my 12 year old brother needs to be bribed since he would be the one who would sleep when supposed to be studying. I think my parents somehow gave up hope on him now knowing that he isn't the sit down for long periods of time (other than fishing) and study type of person and hoping that his continuance in figure skating would lead him somewhere. heh, therefore my brother is being sent out to California to train with his coach up at a popular ice rink for figure skaters.

By Nyu2010 (Nyu2010) on Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 02:00 pm: Edit

$5 for every A...


So that's about $10 for me each semester!

By Ml41588 (Ml41588) on Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 04:44 pm: Edit

anyone else? cmon...share how much u hate (or love) ;) how involved your parents are with your grades. i would love if my parents bribed me for grades but they done...to cheep, i would be pretty rich though but what r u gonna do about it.

By Sirmoreau (Sirmoreau) on Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 08:52 pm: Edit

well 20 bucks over the course of high school for A's....would get you maybe 1,000 dollars! Yipee! Then you can buy a television, honestly who cares...about small dollar amounts of money. Whoever said save your pennies is an idiot.

By Sunshine916 (Sunshine916) on Wednesday, July 02, 2003 - 11:45 pm: Edit

lol simoreau, i would totally have $1000 too! no fair.

well i guess my parents care sort of a lot. i get straight A's though (almost messed that up 10th grade) so theres not much they are going to say. they dont care if its an A, A+, or A-, as long as its an A. but im sure if i had a hard grader and tried my bet and got a B, they wouldnt yell at me or anything because they know i tried my best. on the contrary, if they know i've been slacking, an A in a class i should have easily gotten an A+ would get me a few lectures on how i should "manage my time" blah blah.

i dont get paid or bribed. they never reward me at all on my grades (except once freshman year and again sophomore year when i pulled off straight A+'s for a quarter), but if i dont do well, they'd probably give me hell because they know i am smart enough to do better.

By Yz16 (Yz16) on Thursday, July 03, 2003 - 04:10 am: Edit

sunshinesunshinesunshine:

how doy out hink colleges are going to take the A A+ A- system?

-thanks (and sorry for being off topic)

By Sunshine916 (Sunshine916) on Thursday, July 03, 2003 - 09:52 am: Edit

what do you mean Yz16?

By Demonllama (Demonllama) on Thursday, July 03, 2003 - 01:56 pm: Edit

my parents are incredibly strict. Even if I don't have homework and they see me on the internet or watching tv, they ask me if I'm sure I've finished all my homework and if there isn't more work I could do (wtf?). They think Bs are horrible and Cs are failing- they tend to criticize me about my failures rather than congratulate me on my accomplishments, so basically I've developed this immense fear of letting my parents down, which according to the standards they've set for me, is quite often.
I'm more active than most of my friends, but they still put me down because they think I have no idea what I'm doing even though I have everything when it comes to the college process under control and I wish they would have more faith in me. And I wish they weren't so anal about a letter grade. For example a B- is seen as really horrible even though at my school it's weighted the same as a B and B+, but they still think that's horrible. Yeah, that's basically it.

By Ughstinkysocks (Ughstinkysocks) on Friday, July 04, 2003 - 02:09 pm: Edit

my parents are too concerned bout my sister and my brother (who are not very motivated at all).... my mom thinks im too into school and my grades and that i should stop taking hard classes.... i get paid 50 for all A's and 100 for making 4 100s .... its not a motivator but i still like having money in my hands...

By Thedad (Thedad) on Friday, July 04, 2003 - 03:46 pm: Edit

Why do your parents think you should stop taking hard classes?

Do you enjoy the hard classes?

By Thepiskickass (Thepiskickass) on Friday, July 04, 2003 - 04:36 pm: Edit

I've had straight a's since elementary school. My parents aren't at all worried about my grades. They KNOW I'll have a 4.0 uw for every grading period. They don't even care to open my report cards most of the time. My mom is happy with whatever I do. My dad is cool, but he gets crazy during Math Comp. season. He wants me to win everything. Lol. In eighth grade he started teaching me vectors and s*** for Math Field Day. My parents are just concerned with my "focus". They think I'm going to end up at a top tier school and change my major like thirty times and become a waitress. Psht. "A $200,000 education... what are you going to do?" Dad wants me to be a doctor. What Indian father doesn't want that though? My parents actually want me to drop a few ECs and get more sleep/study time for the SATs. Dad thinks my scores are too low. Yes, they are. My parents are great. They push me "just enough". They support me and care for me. But they can p*** me off a lot too. I just want them to be proud of me. Yeah. I'm kind of psychologically screwed up, aren't I?

By Ml41588 (Ml41588) on Friday, July 04, 2003 - 05:08 pm: Edit

"I'm kind of psychologically screwed up, aren't I?"

arent we all??

By Thedad (Thedad) on Friday, July 04, 2003 - 06:14 pm: Edit

Tpkk, you've put your finger on one difficult problem: as a parent, what kind and how much pressure to apply?

Definition by exclusion serves a useful beginning:

non-stop pressure to achieve perfection makes for a joyless existence (not good) and too many breakdowns along the way to producing a few hyper-achievers.

No pressure whatsoever can furnish an occasional self-motivated high achiever but it also produces a ton of indolent slackers, so that's no go as well.

Constant encouragement seems to be a good thing (I may fall down on this part myself) because high school is a pretty non-rewarding grind at times and even the most even keeled student can use some encouragement through the rough spots. Actually, it's hard to give my D encouragement: "Dad, I know this sucks, I know that it's got to be done, I know that it will end, and I know that I'll be glad when I it's [the term] finished but right now can you just let me get some work done?"

I absolutely believe in acknowledgement and rewards for a good job sell done. Which means I don't complain if she went all out and still got a B...she's picked up four.

Pressure should be *reasonable* and geared to your kid's abilities. This means you've got to pretty much know what your kid's capabilities are *and* have a pretty good idea of what's being demanded in a given class...an A in a weak class is no cause for celebration and a B in an AP English class where you got a 5 on the AP Exam and the teacher was a grader with attitude is, while not cause for great joy, okay.

I've done a lot of interesting and difficult jobs in my life and I can say that trying to be a *good* parent is one of the hardest and it requires constant learning and adjustment on my part.

By Encomium (Encomium) on Friday, July 04, 2003 - 10:54 pm: Edit

My Parents have always rewarded me at the end of the year for my hard work, a trip to New York City or a new pair of speakers, etc. The rewards are happy things, but by no means my motivation. I'm self-motivated. If I didn't want a test prep book, I wouldn't have one. My parents never care about stuff. They look at my report card, I get all A's, and they say it's boring because it all looks the same, lol. When I first told them I was #1 I felt a little pressure because they started going around telling people which made me feel weird, but they've calmed down on that quite a bit.

By Yz16 (Yz16) on Saturday, July 05, 2003 - 04:32 pm: Edit

sunshine:
i ask this alot to get lots of different opinions so don't feel slighted or anythign if you see me asking other people later.

I mean since there's A+, A is no longer the top grade. So do you think college admin will see things like your parents and be happy with the fact that you got all 'A's, or will they think less of your 'As' and even less of your 'A-'s.

To put it better, on a 4.0 grading scale, where would your A- and A fall since A+ is a 4.0?

By Jimjunior (Jimjunior) on Sunday, July 06, 2003 - 02:52 am: Edit

My parents never really put pressure on me, but my friend has to deal with a lot. His mom thinks he is God's gift to the earth, and she is always making up things about him. She tells the other parents about his 4.0 (actually 3.95). She was talking about his 1580 before he had even taken the SATs. he got a 1430, which is a great score. BUt surprised people after everyone had been told near perfect

By Cutie911 (Cutie911) on Sunday, July 06, 2003 - 02:18 pm: Edit

my parents pressure me a reasonable amount to do well in school, but they really don't care wheter i go to and ivy league school or nott, like some parents obsess over

By Entropy (Entropy) on Friday, July 11, 2003 - 10:27 pm: Edit

My parents were average students in high school and dropped out of community college due to troubling circumstances. They haven't been nearly as hard on me, as I have been hard on myself. They wouldn't really care if I got all C's, just as along as I passed. I strive for perfection and high standards, and always have because I have seen first hand how easily the educated can screw over the uneducated. Though they are not the most academically and intellectually accomplished parents, they are people of great dignity and wisdom. I wouldn't trade them for parents who were rich Harvard Graduates.

By Momof2 (Momof2) on Friday, July 11, 2003 - 11:08 pm: Edit

"they are people of great dignity and wisdom. I wouldn't trade them for parents who were rich Harvard Graduates."

Bravo! I hope you tell them this.

I'll go to sleep smiling now.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Saturday, July 12, 2003 - 01:47 am: Edit

Good one, Entropy.

By Twinkletoes696 (Twinkletoes696) on Saturday, July 12, 2003 - 02:16 am: Edit

Nope...my mom never bribed me. On one hand, they wish I wouldn't push myself so hard, especially during the school year. My mother has become very concerned on how well I can function on 2-3 hours of sleep a night. However, she has been very encouraging and try to be supportive of what I want to do. Sometimes, though, I think that she has become used to seeing a certain level of performance, and then when I "dip" below it-- like a drop from a 99 in pre-cal to a 95, then it's kind of like "oh". She knows I am doing the best I possibly can, but it sometimes seems like she wishes it was better. I know that she only wants the best for me, and I don't blame her. My mother is my inspiration because she has not only guided me, but she has actually BELIEVED in me and given me the confidence to believe in myself when I was told that I couldn't do certain things. I credit her with giving me the fire to want to DO more, to better myself, to change the world, a little at a time, and prove others wrong in the sense of how much potential I have.