Sent this to Yale, will I get in...

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Discus: What Are My Chances?: February 2003 Archive: Sent this to Yale, will I get in...
By playwright on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 07:44 pm: Edit

This is except of a play a wrote. Read tell me what you think. It has been sent to colleges already...

Characters: Willy Beaumont
Willy “Bucky” Beaumont III

Setting: Lake Michigan, present day.

Summery- Rich, spoiled, and sexually ambiguous Southern Californian teen, “Bucky” Beaumont is forced to spend the summer with his senile, “war nostalgic” grandfather Willy. He lives on a houseboat near the Lake Michigan pier. Willy decides to plan a fishing trip with his beloved grandson to melt the ice between them. But things go horribly wrong…

Willy Beaumont, 75- A retired janitor who does things his way. He was a P.O.W. during WWII and his own family doesn’t even know. He plays the sea-pipe (Pink sea-shell.) and sings sailor shanty songs.

Bucky Beaumont, 17- A handsome, charming boy with laughing hazel-green eyes. He loves the company of beautiful girls and the pleasure of making love to them. But he is totally clueless about being in a committed relationship. But then again, he’s only seventeen.

Act 1

(An old man and a very young man are seen sitting on chairs. (The chairs represent the “boat” they are in.) They both have long, wooden sticks tied with string on the tip. Hooks are tied on the very ends of the strings. The old man looks at the boy. The boy frowns at him. The old man turns away for a second and then looks at the boy again. The boy angrily stomps his feet on the ground continuously.)

WILLY- (Looks at BUCKY.) Hey there! Sonny boy. You’re shakin’ the boat. (BUCKY ceases)

BUCKY- Because you make me so mad! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

WILLY- You hated me yesterday. You hated me on Friday and Thursday. Heck, you hated me last week. It doesn’t matter. I still love you…

BUCKY- Oh, I bet you do…

WILLY- I do. With all of my heart as a matter of fact.

BUCKY- But if you loved me, like you say you do, dear Grandpapa…Why are we the only living souls in a old, beat-up, cat-p*ss-smelling, dingy moss-growing, crusty barnacle-living, sea boat in the middle of a f*cking river? (Pauses.) Oops… I meant a lake. Lake Michigan to be exact!

WILLY- Hey-hey-hey… Watch your tongue. I’ve got virgin ears…

BUCKY- Oh, sure! Of course! You got virgin ears! That’s a story! I bet you developed them after hearing all of the s*it… Oops, I meant, stuff you went through during the war you were in.

WILLY- And respect all the American wars too, Bucko. Millions of men fought and gave their lives just to make sure you can curse the living daylights outta’ President Bush and not get your behind shot for it. You should be proud to be an American and fight in the war against terrorism.

BUCKY-D*mmit, Willy. I’m only seventeen.

WILLY- You mean, d*mmit Grandpa. I’m only seventeen and I would happily fight in war when I turn eighteen.

BUCKY- Well, we all can’t be eager, gun-happy lads, willing to spill the guts of anyone who comes our way like you. Besides, I’m a lover, not a hater.

WILLY- Speakin’ of your lover side, a girl called for you yesterday. I think her name was Angela or Diana. Something or other…

BUCKY- I bet it was Angiebaby. I know she misses my lovin.’

WILLY- I hope you’re usin...’ (BUCKY interrupts.)

BUCKY- God, do you think I’m stupid or something!

WILLY- No… I was just makin’ sure. I’m too young to be a great-grandpapa. (Looks at BUCKY.) What type of car do you drive?

BUCKY- That was random…

WILLY- I’m just tryin’ to make conversation. So what type of car…

BUCKY- A Saab.
WILLY- What year?

BUCKY- 2003.

WILLY- What color?

BUCKY- Black. (WILLY laughs loudly and uncontrollably. BUCKY looks at him.) Why are you laughing?

WILLY- Because when I was your age, the only car I was driving was a red-cross supply jeep that carried bandages and medicine for the wounded men on the war front. Man, your parents spoil you. You don’t need a Saab at your age. Heck, you don’t need a Saab period.

BUCKY- Well, it’s very expensive to take care of kids nowadays. They ask for the best, so you gotta give em’ the best.

WILLY- I tried with your father… Even tried to get a better job and all. But he wanted the finer things in life.

BUCKY- And that’s why he became a brilliant neurosurgeon so he could forget about his lower class roots. D*mn, It would suck to be poor. How the hell do you do it? You won’t take any help from anyone. If I was you, I would get all the help I can. I wouldn’t want to be independent.

WILLY- (Looking at BUCKY’s face.) You got my smile, you know.

BUCKY- Now that was really random.

WILLY- It’s true. Same smile, same dimples, same lips, same eyebrows, same hair, at one point in time. You’re a true spitting image of me.

BUCKY- That’s impossible. We look nothing alike. Your shoulders are too far apart. Your head is bigger than mine. It looks like an apple. What are you? Like five-six or something. I’m almost six-two.

WILLY- Well, people shrink when they get old.

BUCKY- Then, I don’t wanna get old.

WILLY- It’s apart of life, Sonny boy. It happens to the best of people.

BUCKY- Well, it’s not happening to me. I don’t wanna look like you. They got machines and stuff to prolong your age. I’ll buy one. I can afford it.

WILLY- I surrender…

By dxiw on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 07:46 pm: Edit

dude you just posted this, calm down.

By asdfjkl; on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 07:46 pm: Edit

I don't think you'll get in on the basis of writing a play - much less a short one. Do you have grades and scores? That's probably more important.

By the Dean on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 07:54 pm: Edit

George Bush got in... there's hope for you.

By fred on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 08:33 pm: Edit

Don't want to be harsh, but this play doesn't impress me at all! What else are you sending them?

By playwright on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 08:47 pm: Edit

fred, what's wrong with it.

By asdfjkl; on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 10:08 pm: Edit

George Bush got in because he is in the Bush family which has been one of the most important Yale families in the past century. I am assuming our playwright is not in the Bush family... but it's true, there may be hope for you, even still...

By jimmy whacker on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:20 am: Edit

i am a playwright that has actually made it to some big theatres and from what i'm looking at it doesnt seem much like a play, you have to remember that the plays u write, u always have to think that theyre going to get in, it doesnt seem like u put a lot of effort and time into this and it seems too modern which colleges hate and if I were u I would rewrite this and use some bigger words

By aer on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:40 am: Edit

um, that play probably just lowered your chances.

By pisces on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:42 am: Edit

I think it would be funny actually acted out. Just think about some of the funny kids or the future actors in your class doing this.

By playwright on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 09:08 am: Edit

whacker, what college are u going to. it's seems like you know everything. plus this is only a fraction of my play. FEEL GAY! This also goes to aer or whatever.

By playwright on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 09:09 am: Edit

thanks 4 the advice, pisces. i'm looking for some kids right now.

By Teddykgbad (Teddykgbad) on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 12:01 am: Edit

My play :

Setting: a saturated college-discussion forum, rife with ambitious idiots

Characters: Play W. Right, Reality Q. Check

PLAY- Gee Reality, I think I am the bomb. To give myself a pseudo-hook, I write pointless plays, if that's what one wants to call them, with hopes of duping colleges.

REAL- You wrote that play in seventh grade, right?

PLAY- Actually in late high school, thank you very much.

REAL- No, its not a good thing.

PLAY- Call me William "Bucky" Shakespeare, my future movie scripts will refer to me.

REAL- You mean 'home movie' scripts, right?

PLAY- Well, after the adcoms at the ivies read my genius work, you will surely see the Beaumont story in the theatere after I'm accepted - 'sonny-boy.'

REAL- Yeah, I forgot how much space those schools had for mediocre wannabes.

PLAY- Exactly...and I am quite humorous, poking fun at the President Bush.

REAL- Pikachu, I choose you !

PLAY- That was random.

REAL- (performs ________ [fill in blank]) Yeah, your humor is rather...captivating, in a non-captivating sort of way.

PLAY- What? Hold that thought, I have some ' kids ' on the line who want to act out my play. They are going to make me rich.

REAL- Rejected.

PLAY- (shakes fist) What (looks in space) the (does more things in parenthesis) heck (makes peanut-butter and jelly sandwich) just (comes out of closet) happened?

REAL- You surrendered to reality.

**DISCLAIMER: by no means was this directed at anyone here- just a facsimile of a play i sent to all colleges i applied to. Read it quick, it will be censored by Allah himself.

By dr. evil on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 12:24 am: Edit


By ad on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 05:57 am: Edit

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That play funny as hell Teddykgbad (Teddykgbad). Playwright you're a moron. If you think that Yale is going to accept you because you sent them some two page play, you need a reality check. I don't care if you resurrected William Shakespeare and had him write you a play, that alone wouldn't get you into Yale. Stop posting dumb a'ss questions.

By playwright on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 09:51 am: Edit

That's why I got in, and I sent in the WHOLE play, dumbasses...

By wer on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 11:37 pm: Edit

you got in?


sierra community college for the illiterate?

By playwright on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 11:51 pm: Edit

no yale, dumbass...
SAT 1490
GPA 3.8 UW
EC- Too many to name
URM- African-American, lower income family
Go to a pretty good hs

By pissed on Wednesday, February 19, 2003 - 12:41 am: Edit

"URM- African-American" says it all
slavery ended 200 years ago, how long do you people really need to get back on your feet

I find it funny how ONLY the jews who were actually in the holocaust got some reprcusions while the whole black race seems to be allowed to exploit our society

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