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I swear it's not a "my dead relative" essay.

Mainland China-born girl, Canadian citizen
US permanent resident
Lives in Alabama
Fluent in Mandarin + English

SAT I 1510
Verbal 770
Math 740

SAT II
Writing 740
Math IC 740
Biology 750

ACT 36

AP U. S. History 5
AP English Language 5
AP Bio E/M 5

Steadily better grades (three B's freshman year with two advanced classes, one B sophomore year with four advanced classes, straight A's junior year with all AP/advanced classes except for pre-cal)

Rank 1/340-something

GPA weighted 4.2, don't know unweighted

Four years foreign language, four years policy debate, math terminating in honors calculus, taken Bio/Chem/Physics (prospective Biology major)

Senior course schedule:
English Lit AP
Honors Calculus
French Language AP
Economics AP
Government AP
Physics
Honours Policy Debate (basically varsity, except we get honours credit)

ECs:

Art (was stupid and didn't submit any slides)- literary magazine's editor's choice for visual arts
We The People Mock Congressional Hearing (our team competed as sophomores against all seniors and got to State)
Scholar's Bowl - Girl's President
French Club
French Honour Society - Vice President
Motion Picture Appreciation Society
National Honour Society - Bulletin board + web site committee
Art Service Club - Curator
UAB volunteering for 100+ hours
Policy Debate - Random top 10 and speaker awards

President's Student Service Award for Outstanding Community Service
Vestavia Hills High School Community Service Award
National Merit Scholarship Semi-Finalist
Converse College Junior Scholar Award
A. P. Scholar
Most Accomplished 11th-Grade English Student
Who's Who In American High School Students

Essay 1
Looking back, it seems ironic that art--the love of my life--began as an act of desperation. When I was 2, I was misdiagnosed with pneumonia and, as a result, spent most of my early childhood juggled around hospitals in semi-urban China while being pumped full of unneeded intravenous drips. When my asthma was finally recognized, my doctors decided that since everything from heat to exercise to allergies triggered the attacks, I was doomed to become a vegetable. As we lived in Canada by this time and most social activities involved running around in the snow, sports and other forms of outdoor exertion were deemed off-limits.
My parents, determined not to let their only daughter succumb to boredom from a lack of extracurricular activities, proceeded to nurture in me a love for the fine arts. Their plan, however, went awry. Even though the superintendent of the studio where I took lessons complimented my piano playing, I detested being forced to pound out Mozart and Chopin for eight long years. What I adored, I found difficult--scribbling messy cotton-candy trees with crayons and singing off-key with the school choir gave me more joy than mastering a sonata ever could. Fittingly, I dedicated myself with an almost rabid enthusiasm to the very areas I lacked talent in.
Slowly but surely, the effort paid off. With each improvement, my captivation with art grew stronger. I watched amorphous blobs form into recognizable hands, and ecstatically welcomed each change in my style in the hopes that I would develop one that I could truly call my own. My own faults, though frustrating at times, never drove me to lose hope. I took comfort in the fact that perfection was nonexistent in art, as each person held his or her own vision of beauty. Within even those infinite numbers of perceptions there existed no point where a work became flawless. In the world of art, there was always something more to discover; an idea that mesmerized me.
After we relocated to Alabama, my improving health led to a brief stint in figure skating. The sport appealed to me because, as my coach once told me, “You can always jump higher.” The same ideology applied to schoolwork--again partially due to my parents, who in my first three years in the United States enrolled me in three school systems in search of the best. I knew to shoot for the highest, even if I did not always reach it; disappointment, although unpleasant, did not dampen my overall enthusiasm for the future. Anything new was a challenge to be overcome. I did not seek to be the best at everything, only to continue to improve on myself.
Today, I have come to view failure as a building block and harbor an insatiable craving for criticism. The interest in drawing that started as a little girl doodling red suns and misshapen swans has spawned intensive and productive hobbies in animation, graphic and web design. Art instilled in me from an early age the need for self-improvement and a simultaneous acceptance that no one can be perfect. As long as my love for art persists, so will my drive to succeed in the biological sciences, where art meets form and function.

Essay 2
We never expected him to die, because we were young and naive and imagined each other immortal. Our time, seemingly limitless, was absorbed in foreign vocabulary and cafeteria food, writing out 0's and 1's in cyberspace. This was life, forever.
And then came the Leonids.
The night the stars fell, I craned my neck towards the sky. A single glowing streak rewarded my efforts: my first shooting star. My mind flickered as I remembered a fairy tale--The Little Match Girl whispered, "A soul must be rising up to heaven." I thought nothing of it, and when the clouds blew over there were no more meteors.
In the morning, I stumbled into school dragging my textbooks. Passing the math room, I glanced at my friends inside. Walked two steps forward, two steps backwards. There sat the class, bleary-eyed and crying.
Someone noticed the confusion on my face and pulled me aside. Did I hear what happened? No, of course not. He looked at me with a distorted expression. "Duan Zhu died."
Flashback. This was the kid who was always there, whom we took for granted. Glasses. Smart. His presence was as guaranteed as sunrise. In my fifteen years I had buried ten goldfish and a parakeet. Up until now, death was a temporary absence, a sick day. Duan, the kid, he would be back next week.
He wasn't. I won't go into how much we cried, how he looked in his casket, or the what-ifs that followed. What I will say is how we all shuffled through the hallways in a shivering, huddled mass. I will say how disturbing it was to see my friends' usually sure eyes swimming inside halos of red. And I will say that the night I watched the heavens fall, the night Duan died, my best friend sat wrapped in a blanket in her yard. She, too, saw a single shooting star.
There were insensitive remarks. A boy said that he wasn't sad; he didn't know the kid, and those who did "didn't like him." The boy told me, "Just because he's dead doesn't make him a better person." I grew angry, first as instinct, then in desperation. His words haunted me: Duan and I had mutual friends, but we were so busy that we hardly shared quality time. Why was I hurting so much, now that he was gone? Was I playing the martyr?
The answers came from my memories. That year, Duan and I had grown closer: joking throughout everything, working at the debate tournament, riding the bus into our futures. After seven years of the same space, we were just starting a friendship when his life ended. His potential--lost--gnawed at me. A sudden flash had destroyed a bond that was just beginning to form.
Because others did not know him, did that render him worthless? I thought about myself. Was I perfect? No. There are bound to be people who recognize me as no more than another face in the hallways or voice in a classroom, but only I can determine the value of my life. The same can be said of Duan: Undoubtedly, to some he was only nameless piece of the masses. But to his parents, he was a son; to his friends, a companion. For that alone, his life was priceless. Likewise, while I may not be able to change the world, I am assured that no one leaves this Earth without making an impact, without being loved. Those shared memories will be all that we leave.
It has been one year since Duan's death. The other day in class, I found myself laughing about one of his escapades. That night, I wandered outside to look at the stars, remembering. I didn't dwell on the service or the tree we planted for him. Instead, I sat down in the darkness and recalled those happy moments I had nearly forgotten. When I rose to go back inside, I looked back and saw my impression on the lawn--the ephemeral proof of my existence. Smiling, I turned towards the warm glow of my house, and started up the steps.

By Princesanegrita (Princesanegrita) on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 08:50 pm: Edit

As freaked out as I am by some of ur descriptions in essay 1, I find your essays seductive and engaging of the senses. I'm no adcom..but i like ur writing.

By Ishuku (Ishuku) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 12:30 pm: Edit

bump

By Frogdo (Frogdo) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 01:44 pm: Edit

another poor yale candidate
what do you think of my chances for EA Yale
International app from Istanbul
sat
verbal 630
math 790
sat2
bio M 750
Chem 790
Phy 800
Math1c 750
math2c 770

Ap's
Chem 5 sophomre
physics B 5
Calculus Ap 5
Physics C 5 on both parts

current course load:

Modern physics
Calculus BC
AP english
Advanced creative writing
philosophy
european hist

average 91 out of 100
top 5% of a fancy competetive american school
3 harvard 2 stanford 2 columbia 2 dartmouth in earlies

EC Badminton club president and team captain
Model U Nations for 2 years 3 conferences
one of the founders of an organization which promotes peace with greece WINPEACE
been two greece for conferences
national Chmeistry olimpics team
and been to SSP in California 6 week long science and astronomy camp
possible biocemistry or chemical enginerring major

just cant wait tuesday
see u

By Libsters (Libsters) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 01:53 pm: Edit

Both of you - Your stats are scaring me. If you don't get in, I don't know who will! FrogDo - Your verbal SAT I is a bit weak, but I guess that can be accounted for considering you are an international student. I think you both have very good chances, but it all also depends on the rest of the applicant pool. Good Luck to both of you - in 4 days you'll both know = )

By Frogdo (Frogdo) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 05:12 pm: Edit

Libsters , thanks for your positive comments about our chances. But as you have said as well, with this crazy app pool of 3900 bright kids I dont think I have much chance I have the best EC and teacher recs at my school I dont know if they re good enough for Yale. There is only one girl who has a higher avarege than (among the 5 others who apply)me but she is complete nerd. I dont know I try think positive about it but we will see this will definetely be my longest weekend ever
how about you are u also heading for yale

By Libsters (Libsters) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 05:18 pm: Edit

Yeah I did apply early. I am hoping for the best, but I know my chances aren't that good. My SAT score is higher than yours, but my SAT II's are lower. I just hope they don't accept people by numbers - then I might have a slight chance of getting in. You are EC's are really good. As long as you show committment and leadership you should be fine. Have you won any awards? And according to the Harvard and UPenn and Cornell boards, they all seem to be rejecting the "Complete Nerd" types, which is good for us - I hope! And from the rest the posts on this board, it looks like the applicant pool is very strong - but who knows, maybe only the really smart people post here! Good Luck = )

By Congresssenator (Congresssenator) on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 11:21 pm: Edit

Wow...I did not know that Duan died.

I am so sorry.

BTW-- Yale EA paranoia has consumed my mind this weekend. Gah!

By Vlurry (Vlurry) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 12:04 am: Edit

same situation... same question... (chances?)
Montgomery Blair HS in MD
(Magnet Math/Science/Comp Sci program)

SAT I:
Math 800, Verbal 760
SAT II:
Writing 800, Biology 790, Math IIC 800
AP:
5's on Biology, English Lang, World History, and Calculus BC... 4 on Computers AB--> (AP Scholar w/Distinction)

GPA (cringe):
3.78 unweighted, 4.71 weighted

Current Courses:
AP Comp Govt, AP Psych, AP Literature
Magnet courses: Physical Chemistry, Marine Biology, Multivariable Calculus w/Differential Equations, Research Project

EC/Awards:
Captain Varsity Tennis Team, MIP Award
President Physics Team
Treasurer Model UN (3 conferences)
Envirothon - (5th place international competition)
Spring Musicals (3 yrs)
National Honors Society
All-State Women's Senior Chorus
National Merit Semifinalist (233)
Maryland Distinguished Scholar Finalist ($3000/yr)
Tutoring Chinese immigrant students (2 hrs weekly)

Essay 2--> please comment, need lots of opinions!:
“Well, what do you want to do?” Not once have I really answered this question, but it hasn’t been from lack of wanting. Despite having a strong sense of each individual nuance of the question, I am still completely unable to piece together those elements to a definite major or career. I know that I want a certain amount of unpredictability and excitement, a substantial amount of intellectual stimulation, and a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that the work I do contributes to a higher purpose. I could potentially find all of these aspects in just about any field. Although most people expect me to have narrowed my interests down to one area of study, they remain as open as ever. Faced with this dilemma, I answer with a clear resounding “I have absolutely no idea.”

Last summer I did a research project at the National Cancer Institute involving gene-targeting in lung cancer cells. While the work was challenging enough, there were absolutely no unexpected developments in the weeks of conducting the experiments. Data was collected, conclusions were made, and a paper was written. While my research experience ended there, the researchers left in my lab were to repeat this process over and over again, something I understood would probably bore me beyond belief. Even the occasional breakthrough wouldn’t be enough to prevent it from being a banal existence in my opinion. I just need more variation.

Luckily I have also found something that captivates me: debate. Through Model UN, I have attended conferences where for four days a group of students from across their nation lent their diverse views to form resolutions on international issues. Here one is faced with simultaneously defending their ideology and compromising enough to maintain diplomatic relations and actually solve a problem. Debate is much more than just arguing. It’s putting one’s ideals and words into action, a tool with immeasurable power. Furthermore, it’s always interesting.

An experience that has already given me a great deal of personal fulfillment has been tutoring. For a full year, I mentored a sixth grade boy named Yichen in English. Yichen had emigrated from China only a few months before I met him and also suffered from a learning disability. With virtually no basic English reading or writing skills, every week I would read from a grammar book, translating and repeating each phrase as necessary. The progress was slow and frustrating. Often Yichen would master a set of vocabulary only to forget it all the next week. However, eventually the times he remembered outweighed the times he forgot. I remember saying goodbye to him on our last day and his parents thanking me for his improvement in school. Personally, I didn’t think the change was that dramatic, but their unexpected gratitude gave me the satisfaction that simply made the whole thing wonderful.
Judging by the nonchalance of each person inquiring to my plans for the future, the question was not intended to be tough.

Nonetheless, it made me reevaluate myself and realize an undeniable truth; I don’t have a definite plan for my life. But for what I lack in decisiveness I plan to make up for by relentlessly pursuing new interests and reinforcing old ones. Now significantly more self-aware, I go forward constantly exploring and searching until I find that niche in the world carved out just for me.

-------
Nervous/skeptical... decent recs I suppose, but essay feels shaky.....

By Congresssenator (Congresssenator) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 12:15 am: Edit

The adcoms know what debate/MUN is. No need to tell them. *Show* them, instead. Give them concrete examples.

By Frogdo (Frogdo) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 03:47 am: Edit

Libster, I am sure you also have a remarkably chance. Everyone who applies there have near perfect scores and GPAs. As far as I am concerned the essays are the most important factor at this such high level of competition. Unfortunately my school and country does not give lots of awards. I have have the high honor award for my GPA, most improved and most valuable player award (two times) for badmin and the National chemistry olpimcs school team president thing.
I have to agree, the app pool posted here is intimitading. I don't even know ow if I wanna spend my next 4 years among such accomplished people.
One reason I am optimistic about it is that I send them an additinol statement which indicates that had I been edmitted I will withdraw all my app from other colleges and definetely enroll at Yale.
I just cant wait. tell me when you recieve your result. I have to wait until tuesday online
when can you find out about your admission by calling the admissions office (if at all)

By Ishuku (Ishuku) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 12:46 pm: Edit

I don't think you can call the admissions office; they wouldn't've posted such specific information on mailing/online decisions on their website otherwise...but I don't know, really.

Congresssenator, yeah...Duan died last November in a car wreck downtown. Needless to say, it sucked.

By Frogdo (Frogdo) on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 02:50 pm: Edit

vlurry,
i have to admitt that ypur stats are amazing and that if dont get into Yale there can be only one reason: your essay having been someone who has a 800 on writing i would expect a much stronger and striking essay from you. I know it is a bit late but you only talk about how uncertain you feel about your future and how satisfying teaching English to a chinese kid, the three parts need a better transition so that the essys looks better as a whole

anyway Idont bother with the essay your stats are incredible trust me you have a very very strong chance

By Frogdo (Frogdo) on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 - 04:51 pm: Edit

I got in
I cant believe my luck
or was there more to it who knows or who wants to know

By Ddanthro (Ddanthro) on Thursday, December 18, 2003 - 04:15 am: Edit

I have had some experience in college admissions. I am presently teaching at a famous university in Illinois. I graduated from an Ivy League school in the late 80's and I received my Ph.D. from a famous British University. The essays are very important in college admissions. I am surprised how many students fail to use the essays to their advantage. Too many of you are writing about topics that are predictable. Do yourself a favor and write about something that will make an admissions officer remember your application. When everyone has stellar SAT scores and top grades, it is very difficult to decide who gets in and who does not. To be quite honest, everyone at this point is qualified. Remember: distinguish yourself in other ways.

I'll give you an example. I read a profile of a student who had raised $25,000 for AIDS vaccines in the Congo. Now, as someone who has worked in admissions, I find this very impressive. I would even suggest that the student highlight this in an essay. Talk about it further. Instead, this student proceeded to talk about the fact that he had received a letter from the President. No, offense to our dear President. But having a letter from the President will likely work against this student, unless the student did something that actually caused the President to recognize the student. In short, having a letter from the President--simply because he is the President--is not a wise thing to do.

So, use your essays wisely. It's your chance to highly something about yourself that your grades and test scores cannot do.