Check these two out





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College Discussion Forums: What Are My Chances?: December 2003 Archive: Check these two out
By Nokio869 (Nokio869) on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 08:59 pm: Edit

hey guys these are my 2 short answer rough drafts... any critiques.. corrections.. will be much appreciated... thanks guys

How have you taken advantage of the educational opportunities you have had to prepare for college?

While the human genome, the metabolism of food, the phenomena of cancer cells or the human psyche may bore some, they fascinate me. Biology, Chemistry, Anatomy & Physiology, Psychology – all have furthered my desire for understanding human beings. I have always loved to work out, study nutrition and study people and have made these activities my hobbies outside of school. I love being able to reason out how and why things in the human body work the way they do. These science courses have helped me understand the concepts better. It is intriguing how each and every science I took is interconnected. It feels great to be able to give my mother advice on how to lose weight, what to eat and how to work out when she yells, “Matt, I need to lose some weight!” By means of simple psychology techniques I can cheer my mother up almost instantly. I was not accepted into some of the AP science courses I wanted to take, but that did not stop me. I often converse about such subjects with the teachers who teach them. At least in the subject of science, I am confident I have taken full advantage of my opportunities.


Tell us about a talent, experience, contribution or personal quality you will bring to the University of California.
Many people often want to become faster sprinters. After much serious contemplation, I finally figured out how. At least in my case, if I could just get that darn bubble gum off the bottom of my shoes, I’m almost positive I could be much faster. Although I sat for an hour picking away at it, that sticky goodness is stronger than crazy glue.
Running has been highly significant in my life. In fact, it has molded me as a student, and more importantly, as a person. I do not run the 400 meters simply because I like running in circles. I run because I love to. The feeling of quickly chopping through wind with my legs is stress-relieving every time, although I must admit, trying to beat bicyclists down the street is pretty fun, too. During the past four years, my running experience has taught me valuable skills that I can use on a daily basis. For example, running at 6am in December on a 45 degree Saturday morning has taught me two things: perseverance and determination to better myself (as well as a new meaning of the word stiffness).

By Voigtrob (Voigtrob) on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 09:07 pm: Edit

Just looking at the first sentence, "While the human genome, the metabolism of food, the phenomena of cancer cells or the human psyche may bore some, they fascinate me." I don't like that at all. Well, I think the main problem is the part "may bore some"... that is sort of pretentious as I see it... it's hard to describe why, but can you see what I'm saying? Lol, if you can't I'll try and annunciate further but that's my first impression, it seems like a weak intro sentence - failing to grab them and possibly pissing them off. -.-

By Nokio869 (Nokio869) on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 09:19 pm: Edit

cool thanks

By Nokio869 (Nokio869) on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 10:00 pm: Edit

bump

By Nokio869 (Nokio869) on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 11:08 pm: Edit

bump


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