Chances at UC's, given this essay??





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Discus: What Are My Chances?: November 2003 Archive: Chances at UC's, given this essay??
By Callmecollege (Callmecollege) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 05:39 pm: Edit

The sweat felt like acid as it slowly dripped down my face and reached my eyes. My legs were sore, my arms were weak, my entire body ached. My heart beat furiously, my breathes were even quicker. My mind was blurred by the beams of sunlight that struck my skin. I was half way up the hill, watching the other top runners ahead of me. I had thoughts of giving into the pressure and pain that I was feeling. It would have been so easy to just slow down. But despite the fact that I could feel myself digging deeper into my lungs for each last ounce of air, I did not stop or slow. I focused on the runners ahead of me and decided that I would not let them extend their lead. This has been my approach to life— to try my hardest, to not submit to pains, to always reach the top of the “hill”. My running career began early sophomore year. I had not run competitively since I was in middle school, so I came in unaware of the difficulty of the sport. From the outset I wanted to become a successful runner, but due to a lack of training and experience, I was forced to wait and allow myself to improve. I was not satisfied with my performances during my first season and made up my mind that I wanted to improve drastically. Therefore, during daily afternoon practices, I took it upon myself to keep up with the elite group of Varsity runners on the team. This was difficult initially because I was not accustomed to running at such a hard pace for such a long interval of time. On top of this, the runners that I was now trying to keep up with felt threatened by my presence and thus tried to elude me. In fact, on one occasion I was unaware of the location to which we were running and when I was broken apart from the group, I found myself lost in the hills. Despite these setbacks, I remained adamant in my goal of becoming a better runner. I even began to put more dedication and effort into the sport. For instance, during the early stages of practice, while most people socialized, I could be found stretching off to the side. I wanted to ensure my muscles were stretched thoroughly before the run so that I could feel loose and prevent the occurrence of an injury. I would also occasionally run on my own without the team on weekends or during extended breaks of no practice. When summer vacation began, my focus still remained. Summer practices are important because the mileage run during summer sustains you for the entire season. Realizing this, I took complete advantage of the extra time to improve. When other elite runners did not attend practices regularly during summer, they returned to find that I had made great improvements and now could confidently run with them. Whereas I had put in the effort to become better, they relied on their talents and abilities to aid them. Many runners were astonished by my great improvement, they wondered how I became so fast in such a brief amount of time. I, however, do not find it surprising that I improved by over 5 minutes over the course of my running career. I am not recounting this story to display my running abilities—for running competitively will eventually end for me—but rather, I am attempting to convey a set of personal qualities that I find most descriptive of myself. I find my effort, determination and strength to be personal qualities that I am most proud to contribute.

By Callmecollege (Callmecollege) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 06:10 pm: Edit

thoughts n e 1?

By Callmecollege (Callmecollege) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 08:58 pm: Edit

..elp (cannot breathe)

By Borglq (Borglq) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 09:36 pm: Edit

uh... post ur stats, otherwise judging chances is kinda hard.

By Becks777 (Becks777) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 10:40 pm: Edit

The sweat felt like acid as it slowly dripped down my face and reached my eyes. My legs were sore, my arms were weak, my entire body ached. My heart beat furiously, my breathes were even quicker


Hey!HEY1 Hey!....this is not a essay ona thesis of every part of your body...unlless ur trying to drastically fill up space just use one or two sentences

By Dohinc (Dohinc) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 10:49 pm: Edit

I would rewrite this essay or pick a new topic. It is fairly awkward, overdramatic, and trite. You will just be one of many other people who wrote about running. Think about how many people you stand next to before a big meet (i do xc as well). I guarantee you half of them have essays practically identical to yours, except they are written better. Rethink this.

By Calculuscrazy (Calculuscrazy) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 12:50 pm: Edit

What's wrong with it? It shows creativity.... you don't always have to conform to the norm to get in, you know. ;-)

By Dohinc (Dohinc) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 05:04 pm: Edit

Which is why I suggested he do something original. Read my post

By Dohinc (Dohinc) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 05:04 pm: Edit

Which is why I suggested he do something original. Read my post

By Callmecollege (Callmecollege) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 05:50 pm: Edit

better?

The sweat felt like acid as it slowly dripped down my face and reached my eyes. My legs were sore, my arms were weak, my entire body ached. My heart beat furiously, my breaths were even quicker. My mind was blurred by the beams of sunlight that struck my skin. I was halfway up the hill, watching the other top runners ahead of me. I had thoughts of giving into the pressure and pain that I felt eating at me. It would have been so easy to just slow down. But despite the fact that I could feel myself digging deeper into my lungs for each last ounce of air, I did not stop or slow. I focused on the runners ahead of me and decided that I would not let them extend their lead. This has been my approach to life— to try my hardest, to not submit to pains, to always reach the top of the “hill”.
When I joined cross country at the beginning of sophomore year, I did not know what to prepare for. I was athletic, fit, and healthy and thought that because of this that I would be a good long distance runner. My beliefs were incorrect. In my first race, I ran the standard three mile course in twenty-one minutes. I remember how during this race a combination of side cramps and sharp pains in my legs made me slow to almost a walk. At the end of the race, I felt sick and thought I would vomit. I did not enjoy this introduction to the sport, and in my mind I was already challenging myself to train more and become faster. This is my approach to life—when I am dealt a challenge, I put in as much effort as needed to accomplish my goal, whether it is a calculus test, a job assignment at work, or an important race. During the off-season I kept in mind this personal challenge by trying to run with the elite group of Varsity runners every practice. When they turned a corner and collectively ran faster, I forced myself mentally to block out the pain and tried to catch up with them. I would not give in. The pain could not slow me down. I took pride in being able to keep up with these talented runners, in being able to keep one pace behind them throughout an entire run, moving as a unit despite how much we were hurting. I wanted so badly to improve, so badly to be fast, so badly to be considered a good runner that even on weekends I would sometimes put on a light tee-shirt, some short running shorts, and run on a local running trail.
After hundreds of miles of running on top of dirt, pavement, grass, cement and mud, I was finally good enough to be on the Varsity team. I had ascended from a mere participant running three miles in twenty-one minutes to a competitor running three miles in just over sixteen minutes. A five minute improvement. The way that I approached the challenge of long-distance running is similar to the way that I approach all challenges in life. I always put in my greatest effort, I try not to give into pain or difficultly, and I work with determination until I succeed in my endeavor. I find my effort, determination and strength to be personal qualities that I am most proud to contribute.

By Kluge (Kluge) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 06:08 pm: Edit

This is the "Potential to Contribute" essay? From what I've heard about the UC readers, the first paragraph is a negative. Too flowery, kind of "look at my creative writing". The rest is pretty good (assuming you've covered other stuff elsewhere) because it shows a concrete effort and results, and is written in a straightforward style. Remember - they're reading dozens of these a day. You don't want their eyes to glaze over before they get to the second paragraph. JMHO.

By Callmecollege (Callmecollege) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 06:30 pm: Edit

thanks for the suggestions!

any other opinions on the second version I just posted?

By Callmecollege (Callmecollege) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 06:58 pm: Edit

BUMP!

By Dohinc (Dohinc) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 07:32 am: Edit

"This has been my approach to life— to try my hardest, to not submit to pains, to always reach the top of the “hill”. "

Take this out, you should be implying this, not stating it.


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