A WIZARD'S chances at Harvard?





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Discus: What Are My Chances?: September 2003 Archive: A WIZARD'S chances at Harvard?
By Harry_Potter (Harry_Potter) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 06:47 pm: Edit

Hi! Iím moving to the states to gather more overseas wizarding cooperation in the fight against Lord Voldemort. But, I also need to continue my education, so I was looking at Harvard and the other Ivies. What are my chances?

- I attend one of the most prestigious wizarding schools in Europe (Hogwarts)

Stats:
OWL Examinations: Pending, but definitely an O (Outstanding) in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and probably an E (Exceeds Expectations) in Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, etc. Hopefully no Ps (Poor) or Ts (Troll).
Class rank: Iím probably in the upper 50% (thanks to the Hufflepuffs mostly!)

Extracurriculars:
-Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team (I was the youngest seeker in a century!)
-President and Founder of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Club
-Secretary of SPEW (Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare)

Awards/Honors
-Winner of the Triwizard Tournament, one of the most prestigious wizarding competitions in the world
-Have had 5 books and 2 movies written about my life (although they take out all the sex, drugs, and interesting stuff I go through. Youíd swear by reading those twitty little books all we do in Hogwarts is study and solve mysteries.)
- Can produce a corporeal Patronus (very advanced magic!)

Notable Accomplishments:
-Prevented Lord Voldemort from obtaining the Sorcererís Stone and saved the world from impending doom (1st year).
-Prevented Lord Voldemort (under the guise of his 16-year-old self) from killing Ginny Weasely and saved the school from impending doom (2nd year)
- Saved my innocent godfather from undergoing the dementorís kiss (3rd year)
- Prevented Lord Voldemort from secretly coming back to power, alerting Dumbledore of his return and saving the world from impending doom (4th year)
- Prevented Lord Voldemort from obtaining the prophecy that says one of us must kill the other, and someone again saving the world from impending doom (5th year)

So there they are. But I was wondering if it looks bad that I didnít save the world from impending doom in my 3rd year. Does it look like I was slacking off?

By Collegeguy (Collegeguy) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:03 pm: Edit

Witty. But please don't do it again.

By Alimshk (Alimshk) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:15 pm: Edit

Hey, I got an idea for you Harry. Go read a LotR book.

By Alimshk (Alimshk) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:16 pm: Edit

And like Collegeguy said, don't ever post again.

By Bft (Bft) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:28 pm: Edit

"- Prevented Lord Voldemort from obtaining the prophecy that says one of us must kill the other, and someone again saving the world from impending doom (5th year) "

The funny thing about this is some of the biggest nerds on this board are probably disgusted with this.

By Harry_Potter (Harry_Potter) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:29 pm: Edit

Hey mate, no need to get cheeky. Just trying to get some honest opinions on my chances. If you don't want to help, fine. But you don't have to act like a slimy git. :D

By Harry_Potter (Harry_Potter) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:31 pm: Edit

(That was to Alim)

By Alimshk (Alimshk) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:36 pm: Edit

This board isn't called "What Are My Chances Of Getting Attention For Being Moronic?"

By Texas137 (Texas137) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:46 pm: Edit

Hey Harry - how about just doing a year at Durmstrang? That way you'll probably get more credits to transfer.

By Redhot (Redhot) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 08:22 pm: Edit

Hey, Harry!I'm really impressed by your ECs!By the way if your vocabulary on the SATI is as good as that you used here,I bet you'll get onto the school that's located right on the Ivy in my back yard.It's criteria are very "high" and few people can "get" there but you have pretty good chances.Guys,I think you give Harry's fantasies pretty harsh time.He's not to blame that the psychiatrists have not done their job properly (no offence pal :)).Now serious..I really wish you to get into one of the Ivys because person with your creativity and originality deserves to be there.Good luck!
PS What does "slimy git" mean?

By Magenta (Magenta) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 08:42 pm: Edit

I swear, this is the FUNNIEST thing I have read in my 16 years of reading stuff online!!! Maybe it's just that I'm so old that my humor is warped (likely that), or that I am reading this under the influence of a glass of red wine, but man, I am chuckling such that my gut hurts. I say SUBMIT THIS AS YOUR APPLICATION, and at the end, note that you were just kidding, but are looking for a university that isn't so full of itself to not appreciate some creative humor. You'll likely find a better match that way than being the stuffed up, fluffed up applicant so many are. Even if you don't get in at some schools, I assure you this is an application that will be talked about for ages.

Man, thanks for a wicked good time! May you enjoy *wand*ering through life, wherever you go! :)

By Johnnyd (Johnnyd) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 09:25 pm: Edit

I swear, this is the LEAST funniest thing I have read in my 17 years of reading stuff online!!!

By Magenta (Magenta) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 09:47 pm: Edit

Johnnyd, it's a shame you didn't find it funny as studies show that the more you laugh, the longer and happier a life you will live...learn to laugh at everything, including even this piece of advice! :)

This will sound cruel, but no joke, only hours before my mother died (and we had been told she invoked her living will and likely wouldn't make it through the night), my father heard me laughing and said, "You're mother is on her death bed - how can you be laughing?!" He was furious with me. I said, "She is dying, not me." It was incredibly cold of me, though I think I just needed to laugh to make it through that night (as one of my jobs that night was to write my own mother's obituary, what fun). And honestly, I would hope my mother would rather see me laugh (not at her death, but other things, as I was doing) than cry. If she wouldn't have, she'd need a better sense of humor. :O

Ironically, I was at first horrified and opposed to the "party" my father had after the funeral, but that ended up being a good idea, too.

I'm hoping people party when I die, as if they don't, they won't be appreciating that I had enjoyed a very good life.

By Becks777 (Becks777) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 09:48 pm: Edit

Well at least its a break from the normal.....Hi-what are my chances at the ivies-with a 1600 on the sat-800,800,800 sat iis-4.0 gpa ...." what are my chances" posts
Good job Harry!

By Neo (Neo) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 10:51 pm: Edit

I liked it :^)

By Firebird12637 (Firebird12637) on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 11:13 pm: Edit

wow, someone has no life...(i got thru the first like 4 sentences)

By Abz1986 (Abz1986) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 01:57 am: Edit

Too bad I don't know anything about Harry Potter

By Quakerboy2 (Quakerboy2) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 03:09 am: Edit

That was surprisingly accurate and detailed.

I don't know whether to be proud of myself for knowing that all of that is correct, or to run into a corner and hide. And why is this Harry Potter thing a recurring theme here? Granted this was the most creative, but, unfortunately, you're not the first to do something like this. Well done all the same.

And to all of you who are annoyed by this, who stole your happy pills?

By Bear363 (Bear363) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 04:46 am: Edit

The sad aspect of my life, is that I can do the same thing for Star Trek. However, I am sure you don't want to hear a ranting Klingon!

By Sostressedout (Sostressedout) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 11:03 am: Edit

haha this was great, i love harry potter

By Cornell00 (Cornell00) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 11:13 am: Edit

hahaha this is just too funny!!! :)!!!

By Dkm (Dkm) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 02:59 pm: Edit

isnt howarts, supposed to repersent harvard in the wizarding world..or is it just my instinct

By Neo (Neo) on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 03:30 pm: Edit

I think Howgarts would be the Oxford of the wizardry world in the U.K., while Harvard would be its American counterpart.

By Magenta (Magenta) on Sunday, September 14, 2003 - 11:25 am: Edit

Are there other schools of wizardry according to the HP books? I thought not, as if there were, wouldn't the Quidditch team be playing these other schools rather than just houses within Hogwarts? I mean, they should have free "airfare" since they all have their own brooms, right, so it can't be a finance issue that they only play teams in the same school.

You also don't hear rumors of a teacher who has mysteriously disappeared perhaps having taken a job with some other school.

By Quakerboy2 (Quakerboy2) on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 03:42 pm: Edit

There are two other schools in the book, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. That's how they have the tri-wizard tournament in the fourth book. Other than these three, I'm not really sure if there are others....

By Rubenizm (Rubenizm) on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 04:42 pm: Edit

And you wasted how much of your time to get attention from strangers on the internet?

By Aspirer42 (Aspirer42) on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 05:21 pm: Edit

Probably somewhat less than you do to pointlessly flame people you've never met.

This was one of the best things I've seen on here all month, "Harry"; top-notch.

By Rubenizm (Rubenizm) on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 06:42 pm: Edit

pointlessly? i flame people like you who HAVE to comment on others's posts for no reason....and you deserve it.

By Pookdogg (Pookdogg) on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 07:07 pm: Edit

You need more match/safeties...while your stats are impressive, there's no definite way to get into the Ivy League. Have you looked into WUSTL and UChicago? I'm sure they'll love you there...


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