Here's my college essay

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Discus: What Are My Chances?: December 2002 Archive: Here's my college essay
By georgia on Wednesday, December 04, 2002 - 10:20 pm: Edit

The application requested an essay on a subject meaningful to me.

Living seventeen years as a female, I've gathered a significatn amount of information on the opposite sex. I've often wondered why some girls consistently rotate boyfriends. I've wondered why I appear unattractive to most guys at school. Taking a moment of silent reflection to collect those thoughts, I concluded that guys my age would benefit from a lesson on "how to treat women." Most guys I know judge women primarily on their outward appearance. They tease girls who they find unattractive and those who respect themselves enough to remian chaste. Last week, in my physics class, I spoke with a couple of friends during our work time. Suddenly, a voice from across the room hollered, "Georgia, shut the hell up." The guy who shouted the rude remark continued to throw insults toward me through the hour, leading other guys to laugh with him. Bewildered and embarrassed, I shied across the room to socialize with a different friend.
I later pondered why men rarely hold doors open for women these days. In past decades, courtesy from man to woman appeared almost natural. Now, not only does it appear unnatural, it is rare. Many debate over why the divorce rate is now at an all time high. It wouldn't surprise me if a key reason is that many relationships form for the wrong reasons. In a man-woman relationship, girls tend to become more emotionally attached, whereas, guys are simply physically attracted. I have a friend whose sister dated a guy for a month before she discovered his true motives. After a month into their relationship, a remark he made showed her, inevitably, that he cared more about her breast size than her as a person. Her boyfriend, whom she thought possessed quality, possessed only the opposite. I'm not a feminist; however, I'm not surprised at the amount of women who present themselves with that label. Personal life today would improve significantly if most guys would attempt chivalry.

By georgia on Wednesday, December 04, 2002 - 10:21 pm: Edit


By lkdfj on Wednesday, December 04, 2002 - 11:55 pm: Edit

the topic is really interesting! i totally agree with you. but your essay would be a lot more powerful if you explained more about WHY THIS IS SO MEANINGFUL to you. you state a lot of true, interesting facts, but you never really delve into WHY exactly you're writing about this.

ie, are you gonna do anything about this issue?? did you confront the guys after they laughed at you?? maybe you called them on it, explain that confrontation.

also, the whole "a friend whose sister dated a guy" is a little too high-school-gossipy for my taste. esp. cut out the word "guy," its too informal for this type of essay.

good job tho

By debbie on Thursday, December 05, 2002 - 12:07 am: Edit

georgia's a pretty name.

By Kason (Kason) on Thursday, December 05, 2002 - 12:19 am: Edit

Good thought but maybe you should take into consideration who might read this. We don't really know what kind of people are employed by the admissions for a school. It could be just the type of male that you described in your essay. It is a good topic but maybe it should wait until the merit of a person liking it isn't affecting anything like admission. Then again.... What the hell do I know???

Ohh and I like your style
and the above sounds like good advice

By kerid on Friday, January 10, 2003 - 12:19 am: Edit

The writing is very juvenile and shows very little sophistication

By lame essay on Friday, January 10, 2003 - 07:20 pm: Edit

I love how a vocal minority gives you "a significatn [sic] amount of information on the opposite sex."

Work on your critical thinking skills.

By lame essay on Friday, January 10, 2003 - 07:22 pm: Edit

Oh, and what a ridiculous comment you ended the essay with: "Personal life today would improve significantly if most guys would attempt chivalry."

Life would improve for whom? Girls who expect to be treated better than they treat others?

Tell me, do you open doors for guys?

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