|By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 09:29 pm: Edit|
Here is just another one of my many essays. I wrote it today after returning from an expedition to Stop & Shop. It's odd, but I love it! Though I think you will probably hate it hahaha.
Ever since I heard Stop & Shop was coming to my small town, I had anticipated the moment when I could finally grace its aisles. But just as I stepped through the squeaky automatic doors, a crisis confronted me. There was no time to shop! College applications were due! I wondered aloud, “how could it be”? My first Stop & Shop experience would be plagued by the impending application due dates? I refused to allow it….somehow these two pivotal moments in my life would need to be integrated.
The first place I ventured to was the fruit aisle. The staples of my diet called out to me, but my mind was playing tricks, leaving me to wonder how I was to appear before the intimidating admissions committees; am I the apple, so perfect, round and shiny? Or am I the banana, curved, spotted and imperfect? Then I find it…the papaya. Distorted in its shape and simple in its glimmer, the papaya nevertheless holds beautiful seeds – perfectly oval, edible seeds. I am the papaya…obscure from the exterior, perhaps even difficult to understand….but ready for consumption and exploring once pried into.
My next stop was in search of carbs or sugar, either one. The pretzels were the first I questioned. Twisted and innate, the salty creatures are best accompanied by a dip and sadly dry without a drink. A box of Jell-O stood beside the snacks, a powder, ready to be transformed into a liquid, which was ready to be transformed into a solid…no, I certainly was not Jell-O….I was not willing to adapt so easily. Suddenly I realized that there, before my very eyes, stood the complete me…the English muffin. Together, I was a “muffin”, but split by a fork I was two distinct bread-like objects ready to soak in the butter, jelly or jam of choice. There was the photographer side of me, and there was the politician side of me, and while in that very instant I could not determine which quality belonged to the inevitably smaller piece of the muffin, I know now that my future will be the final determinant. So the muffins entered the cart, laid out carefully atop the glowing papaya.
Finally, I reached the dairy department. Though not necessarily the dairy type myself, my mother had requested a few items. The first object I motioned towards was at the top of Mom’s list: skim milk. There it was, a bottle of beauty, filled with pure white liquid. While it seemed appealing from the outside, however, its nutritional makeup suggested something less profound. This milk was in fact, quite empty. Could I possibly throw away my money on something that I have long tried hard not to be? Of course I couldn’t…but the whole milk beside it would not do either. So I took a true dairy risk that day. The label read “Silk”, but the solid box left everything to the imagination as to its actual contents. Sure, milk was always silky, but this milk was far different from the rest. This milk did not conform to the standards of dairy farms across America, but instead relied on a freakish legume crushed into juice. Alas, soy milk was my style. Different from the rest in many ways, but similar in purpose.
When I reached the check out, I looked down at the three paltry items. A papaya, a box of English Muffins, and a gallon of soy milk. What had lead me to this bizarre array of nutritional providers? By the time the clerk had rang up my items, I knew the answer. Bizarre was just what I wanted. As I subconsciously explored the aisles of this long awaited Stop & Shop, I also explored the qualities that have been defined by my life experiences. The qualities may have been peculiar, and they may have been inharmonious to my greater picture, but combined they have been the forces that have contributed to my inner makeup just as they did my shopping cart. Now, please excuse me, I have promised friends and family a scoop of papaya ice cream over a toasted English Muffin (with seeds on top).
By the way, the prompt is for Princeton where they say something like "Write, in whatever you wish, an essay that will convey to the admissions staff who you are"
|By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Saturday, October 09, 2004 - 12:38 pm: Edit|
bah hambug, i guess a stop & shop essay doesn't pique anyones interest
|By Northstarmom (Northstarmom) on Saturday, October 09, 2004 - 12:47 pm: Edit|
I am sorry, but while the essay is creative, it also isn't that interesting. What it lacks is specifics about you and what you have to offer a college. All you include now are generalities about yourself now.
If you add those specifics, possibly the essay would pique the interest of adcoms, particularly if you are applying to a business-oriented or agriculture-oriented college.
|By Achat (Achat) on Saturday, October 09, 2004 - 12:55 pm: Edit|
I would use the internship essay or something like that for Princeton. This one lacks specifics..being creative is not enough.
|By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Saturday, October 09, 2004 - 01:52 pm: Edit|
OK, i shall use the internship one.
|By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Saturday, October 09, 2004 - 01:57 pm: Edit|
Because the Princeton one needs to be around 250 words, can you look over this shortened internship essay and tell me if it is OK in its drastically reduced form?
To any young mother, finding a diversion for her child is of imminent concern. The diversion my mother chose for me, however, was not your typical soccer or chess. Instead, my mom placed me at a desk with a pen, paper, envelope, and stamp, and told me to write. After a few days, I imagine friends and family became tired of my incessant mailings but Mom had a solution to that problem as well. When she came home one day with an address book of celebrities, my letter writing hobby became an obsession. Suddenly, I was opened up to a world wherein the actor I saw on screen or the pitcher I saw at Shea Stadium became as accessible as any family member or friend. All it took was a little research for me to gain the ammunition to write a powerful letter – and in no time I was sending off encouragement to Drew Barrymore, gratitude to Kofi Annan, or criticism to the President. As each reply came in, a new lesson was learned. I did my best to grant child-like wisdom to these icons and in return they granted me guidance that came from their first-hand experiences. As each piece of advice passed by me, a mark of distinction or question to ponder was left. Whether it be Maya Angelou’s encouragement to stay in school and go to college or Pat Benetar’s rambling on the benefits of music education, no lesson was ever lost.
Some days, after I had dropped off the mail, I would lie on my bed and imagine the envelopes that were floating across the world with my address on their upper left hand corner. The estate of Princess Diana, the prison cell of Nelson Mandela, even the Capetown ministry of Desmond Tutu became new worlds to explore. As I have continued to grow, my explorations have been replaced by physical journeys which have allowed me to see people and places first-hand. Classmates in a lecture hall, the dangerous streets of Harlem, co-workers at a museum– learning from other people's choices has helped me create a clearer identity for myself. Though the role that mail plays in my life may diminish as I begin to see the world in more tangible ways, the wonderful introduction to humanity the letters from my past granted me will never be replaced.
-The essay as it stands is about 350 words, so it could be cut a little, but my other one was under the 250 word limit so I figure this one can be a little longer. I also spoke with a Princeton admissions officer and she said that as long as you have 1 "long" and 2 "short" essays it doesnt matter how long or short they are.
Nevertheless, if you see anything redundant or pointless, feel free to point that out.
Thanks parents! I am feeling very chipper today, Princeton app is almost done, slides are being developed, woohoo!
|By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Sunday, October 10, 2004 - 01:41 am: Edit|
This forum is dead.
|By Xdad (Xdad) on Sunday, October 10, 2004 - 02:04 am: Edit|
Nah, just lost interest in more Ilcapocahontas adventures.
|By Achat (Achat) on Sunday, October 10, 2004 - 08:00 am: Edit|
Ilcapo, it looks good to me. I'd send it in..
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