Click here to go to the NEW College Discussion Forum

Hi parents. There is a post on the high school board by this kid that needs help. He said he can't repost it here for some reason, so if you all could talk some sense into this kid and tell him to talk to his guidance counselor or the police that would be great. The thread is "My parents make me feel like ****".
I'm not advertising or anything--this kid just really needs help and the rest of us on the HS board aren't getting through to him for some reason.
-Bluealien01

By Cheers (Cheers) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 11:59 pm: Edit

Well done. You're a good CC friend--and probably a good friend in real life too.

By Jamimom (Jamimom) on Thursday, October 07, 2004 - 12:48 am: Edit

Bluealien, it is a disturbing post. The problem is what to say, what to do. I spend time at an inner city highschool where dysfunctional families are the norm, and many of the kids are barely getting by because their homelife is truly substandard with mentally ill or overwhelmed parents burdened with all sorts of problems. The truly shocking thing about this is that there is really no good solution. Most of the kids there who have bothered to take advice and reported their parents to the authorities have ended up having a worse go of it when this occurs. There really is no good alternative.

I feel very strongly about how disadvantaged and advantaged kids are just by having a certain type of parent or parents. It is truly an unfair situation. The poster on the highschool site has a major advantage in that he is a good student. If he gets high test scores and asks for help from his counselor or a teacher who is helpful, it is possible that he could get enough merit money somewhere to take a hiatus from his parents and not be dependent on them at all. The kids I know have no such opportunity as the parents have no money, getting financial aid forms and college apps done is just about impossible, and the kids have an average 800 SAT with only a few bothering to take them. So there is really no where for these kids to go. The military would be a good alternative except with the current situation they could be going into an even more dire situation, a direction I am reluctant to give; it is something that has to be decided personally. And yet home and the neighborhood is a dangerous situation as well.

When my niece and nephew were dropped off at my house many years ago, I did a lot of research on what alternatives kids have in this country who are abandoned or abused by their parents. Not good at all. Because our family structures are so fractured, it is too rare that someone can step in when things are going awry and help out a kid who is really getting the brunt of things in a dysfunctional household.

On the other hand, that post in some parts could have also been written by my son the way he is seeing things around here and positions it to us and writes about in his blogs. I have been horrified at some of his depictions of how he is treated where he leaves out all of the reasons that has caused his restrictions. We have had some bad scenes here and anticipate more. My boys grow fangs during high school, and H and I bear the marks.

By Momoffour (Momoffour) on Thursday, October 07, 2004 - 11:15 am: Edit

I ran into a friend at the grocery store.

"How is your son enjoying hs?" I asked. (10th grade)

She shook her head and said "My house used to be so pleasant, and now he is making us all miserable."

My sixth grader's response to the standard "time for homework" was to reply that homework was such a waste of his time.

I feel your pain Jamimom!!