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For years, I have always been the main advocate of early decision. I have begged my sister, other relatives, friends, anyone to apply ED and subsequently explained its benefits - but now that I have reached this stage in college admissions process I am at a loss.

It came as quite a shock when the realization set in that I, the kid who has been researching college since he was 12, now could not find a school worthy of ED.

Herein lies the problem, maybe you could help:

For the past few months, I have been actively seeking out colleges I believe I fit in best at. Overall, these tend to be small liberal arts colleges. Dartmouth, Williams, Middlebury, Haverford, and Trinity are examples of those at the top of the list. I have visited all of them and come to the conclusion that these types of schools are right for me academically. What becomes the more important aspect is the social life. The differences between them have thus helped to explain my preferences. Unfortunately, the school that I place at the top of my list academically is based on a fraternity system (Dartmouth). I absolutely refuse to go to a school where either:

a) I am an outcast if I don't join
or
b) I am hazed if I want to join

This creates a major dilemma for me. Dartmouth is probably the school on my list that I would benefit from ED most. It is also the school that academically matches up to me best, having a great government department, strong art facilities, etc. In addition, this is the school that family has pushed me to apply to and then attend. A cousin of mine who went there loved it, so now the whole family thinks that it is the only place you can get a decent education. Try as I might, I just can't sell Bowdoin or Haverford the same way as the Ivy mystique. To some degree, this sort of mentality leads me to second-guess the other schools. When I think about telling an average person that I am attending Bowdoin, the immediate thoughts of prestige probably would not enter their mind as it would if I said Dartmouth. While this is obviously unfortunate, I don't know if I can let it be the determining factor in my decision.

Then comes the question of urban vs. rural. I am not the outdoorsy type. I like cosmopolitan things....nice restaurants, nice shops, etc....and I like people who like to spend their time and money on these things. To me, an ideal night would be going out to dinner with a bunch of friends at a nice restaurant rather than drinking till I fall over at a frat house. Because of this, it sort of eliminates the more rural schools from the list - even though I loved them when I visited (Midd, Bowdoin, Dartmouth, etc.)

The third factor that has lead me to this place is the unorthodox application I believe I will be presenting. Because of my dual enrollment situation, strange class rank, and interesting extra curriculars, my thought is that some schools will be willing to take a chance on me while others might not. Because I have been researching and touring schools for so long, a piece of me is saying..."just apply to all 12 schools you love, and let the chips fall where they may". This would then include many schools I had otherwise ruled out as too difficult, such as Harvard, Georgetown, Princeton, etc.

So now I am faced with a major dilemma of whether I should utilize the ED option. Let me make it clear before someone explains that ED is only for people with a clear choice. I have a first choice school, I just second guess it from time to time. What I am wondering now is, is there a benefit to waiting? I will probably end up at that school regardless, so why put it off until April?

The other option that has been floating through my mind, is to apply to a school where I statistically have a very minimal chance of acceptance but where I would LOVE to attend. When I envision rushing home from school December 15th, I don't think I would be ecstatic to find my acceptance to Dartmouth. However, I would be more than ecstatic to find an acceptance to Princeton. Basically my thought was that if I apply to a school that is such a super-reach, it allows me to use the ED option (so that I don't feel bad about it), gives me the possibility of attending a school of my dreams, or leaves me with the regular decision round process that I would take part in otherwise.

I'm sorry to have just rambled and I don't really even have a question, but I need advice.

I'm honestly feeling as though I am undergoing an identity crisis...and I can't seem to pinpoint the school I love yet. Sometimes I think, I want to go to Bowdoin! But then I think....can I do better? It's a very strange feeling and I'm not sure how to describe it, but there is a part of me that still believes I need to fully undergo this long RD process in order to ensure I have no final regrets.

Thoughts?

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 01:55 am: Edit

My short answer....go RD. From all you have said, I think that is the best course of action for you and you have nothing to lose by that decision. My daughter recently made the same decision and it seems like the right one for you as well.

Susan

By Achat (Achat) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 10:06 am: Edit

"The other option that has been floating through my mind, is to apply to a school where I statistically have a very minimal chance of acceptance but where I would LOVE to attend."
I tend to agree with Susan except for the above paragraph. If you love Princeton, then you might want to give it a try knowing very well it is an extreme reach. But from what I know about you, you are not an average person and Princeton might be attracted with what you have to offer them. So you might try that.

ps. Susan, congrats on your daughter making a decision..

By Willywonka (Willywonka) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 10:25 am: Edit

I also made the decision to go RD recently and my situation was pretty similar. Similar, of course, except for one thing, which is the way you say Dartmouth, Williams, etc., are the schools you want to go to the most, but then saying Princeton is "a school of your dreams." I have to wonder whether it's "the name of your dreams" instead, but I guess that's not really the point.

Also, I thought only ~50% of men at Dartmouth joined fraternities. Are you saying that 1,000 of the 2,000 men there are outcasts?

By Keats (Keats) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 10:55 am: Edit

If you don't get into "a school of your dreams", that puts you in the RD round anyway. But for ED, you need THE school of your dreams. IF you can sort that out, maybe try ED. If your stats are ballpark and you are unique and creative, you do have a chance. If you don't get in, you still have all of your options in RD. Just my opinion.

By Aparent4 (Aparent4) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 11:13 am: Edit

Ilcapo, I often read your posts but don't remember certain things, i.e., your stats or type of school. I did read about your dual enrollment dilemma. If you are in love with Princeton, applying there ED makes sense, IF:
1. your stats are 1500+, 2. your GC will write a rec saying you have an incredible intellectual hunger, which is why you did the dual enrollment, and 3. you can get a glowing report from one of your current college profs. It doesn't sound as though you would love Dartmouth, given the frat scene and rural location, although there is a lot happening at Dartmouth besides the frats. Why would you want Bowdoin, since it's rural, too? If you don't go for Princeton, maybe take another look at Georgetown -- not easy, either, but with an amazing location and so much to offer.

By Mini (Mini) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 11:36 am: Edit

You don't know that you would LOVE to attend Dartmouth. Why is this even an issue? You don't benefit at all from applying ED to school that you are not absolutely sure you want to atteend. Instead of considering that you have a problem, why not focus on the fact that you have a clear solution?

By Sybbie719 (Sybbie719) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 01:31 pm: Edit

Hi,

You state:

"In addition, this is the school that family has pushed me to apply to and then attend. A cousin of mine who went there loved it, so now the whole family thinks that it is the only place you can get a decent education".

1. You are not your cousin, and just because they loved Dartmouth (which a lot of people do) does not mean that you will love it.

2.Being a parent I know that the process is a family decision especially where $ is concerned. But Dartmouth is not the only place where you can get a decent education.

You also worry about he frat scence which will not even be an option for you as a freshman. After a year's time, you may find that it does not even interest you as there are just as many students there who are happy not being part of the frat scene. You say that you are not the outdorsy typr, would like to be in a more urban cosmopolitan area, it seems that you are simply looking for the best labeled school that you can get into. I think that if there is one thing that we as parents would like our kids to hear that there are over 3000 schools in this country.


You also state: When I envision rushing home from school December 15th, I don't think I would be ecstatic to find my acceptance to Dartmouth.

This statement alone means that you should not be applying to Dartmouth for ED.

You say:

When I think about telling an average person that I am attending Bowdoin, the immediate thoughts of prestige probably would not enter their mind as it would if I said Dartmouth.

I believe that if you are not going where you are truly happy it will soon be reflected in your grades and you may end up missing out on all the school has to offer. I think you need to gget past what other people will think about the school since you are going to be the one who will have to put in the time and get the education.

I tend to agree with Willywonka and wonder if you are merely looking for the name of your dreams.
You feel that Princeton is the school of your dreams, so throw caution to the wind and apply ED.

While you are a very smart young man, you seem to be waffling, which shows that ED at any school isnot for you.

By Liek0806 (Liek0806) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 01:40 pm: Edit

Why don't you apply to a school that has Single Choice EA, and you'll still be able to apply to other schools as well.

By Dadno9 (Dadno9) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 05:29 pm: Edit

I should say up front that my son attends Dartmouth, so I have a bias in favor of that school. Having said that, I have two comments. First, it is certainly possible to have a social life without joining a fraternity. My son is not in a fraternity, and he finds plenty of social outlets. Second, Dartmouth is an outdoorsy place. If you don't want a rural/small college town envirnoment, I question whether it is right for you. I would not recommend applying ED.

By Wjb (Wjb) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 05:54 pm: Edit

Aside from Haverford and Trinity, all the schools you list are distinctly rural. There are a number of other fine LACs that are in urban or suburban locations. Have you considered Vassar(Poughkeepsie NY), Swarthmore ( suburban Philadelphia) or Wesleyan (Middletown CT)? And if you're willing to leave the East, how about Macalester (in the Twin Cities)? Not all ideally located in "cosmopolitan" areas, but all are decidedly less rural than, say, Dartmouth, WIlliams, or Middlebury.

By Mini (Mini) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 06:07 pm: Edit

"When I think about telling an average person that I am attending Bowdoin, the immediate thoughts of prestige probably would not enter their mind as it would if I said Dartmouth. "

Where I live, no one has heard of either. Neither will help you in the least in getting a job. There is no alumni association for either in the area. They carry NO prestige. Now, if you went to the University of Washington or Brigham Young, or Whitman, things would be different. And this is the state capital. We have plenty of "average" people.

By Wjb (Wjb) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 06:07 pm: Edit

Also, if you're willing to go a bit larger, but retain that LAC feel, what about Tufts? Given your distaste for the rural atmosphere, I have to say that I'm perplexed by your current choices. They're among the most isolated colleges out there. Please understand that I'm not knocking any of them; they're all excellent schools. But your posts suggest that you would fit in better elsewhere, and that the driving force for you right now is prestige. I hope you'll rethink your choices.

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 06:09 pm: Edit

Regarding the rural thing. For some reason, I ended up finding mostly rural LACs, I guess I just the more urban ones don't ring true to the LAC vibe for me. I didn't like Vassar and I am iffy on Wesleyan. Swarthmore won't take me due to rank issues. That cancels out 3.

Regarding the Princeton thing. I do feel that Princeton is perfect for me in every way. Academically, socially, location-wise. My rationale in applying ED there would really just be that I would feel better knowing I applied somewhere ED. There is no downside to applying ED there in my mind. I either get in and am ecstatic, or don't get in, and go through the RD process anyways.

I think that I am definately waffling at this point, and that's probably the reason I posted all of my thoughts. I need to sort through them, and you guys are helping me do that.

Quick stat review:

1530 SAT, 800V 730M
780 Writing, 780 US, 710 Lit
Rank 51/432
Guidance counselor will clearly state that I am an intellectual type who was not fulfilled by the classes at Northport.

Also: Since 9th grade, I had been planning on graduating in 3 years. So I ended up taking courses and tracks that were probably way too difficult (doubling up in AP Bio and Chem, taking AP Chem, taking the calculus track, etc.) But then at the beginning of junior year, I decided against graduating in 3 years. So my GC will be stating that my grades suffered due to an accelerated track that probably was not necessary but made it possible for my dual enrollment situation.

Senior Schedule:
AP US Gov't
Psychology
IB English
Intro to Sociology
World Politics
Moral Reasoning
Human Biology
Sociology of Human Repro
Statistics for the Political Sciences (Spring)
Intermediate Italian II (Spring)
Western Religions (Spring)

Interviews have gone GREAT. Essays are pretty strong at this point. ECs are unique.


I would love to go to Princeton, so I figure maybe ED is worth the shot. It's better than just saying screw it, and not applying at all.

Nevertheless, if I don't get in, I feel like I will be at square one again. I'll probably end up wanting to go to Dartmouth by January, and I'll be regretting not going ED. I'm so confused!!

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 06:16 pm: Edit

OK and a note on prestige.

I knew that I shouldn't have mentioned the whole prestige thing, it just happens to be something that bothers me a little bit. I come from a family where no one has gone to college. No, they aren't the ones to judge...but they feel that I have worked so hard to get into a great school...shouldn't they at least have heard of it??

I know, it's odd...but it becomes a factor for me (though not a very significant one).

As far as location. Part of me says that going to college is going to a big sweeping campus and fully immersing yourself in the school. When I went to Williams, Middlebury, etc..I could definately envision myself doing just that. But then I go look at Harvard and I want to scream because I BELONG in Cambridge. My reason for going with Princeton is that it is a nice combination of both. Princeton is cosmopolitan for a small town, it's an hour from the city, near my sister at Villanova, but still retains that campus feel.

I don't know what to do. I love Georgetown and schools like it...but there aren't many.

By Mini (Mini) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 06:27 pm: Edit

I guess I still don't see the problem here. If Princeton is the "school of your dreams", and you can afford to not compare financial aid, apply to Princeton ED. You and 80% of the applicants are likely to be deferred (or rejected), then you can apply to the others and let the chips fall. It sounds to me like you'd be perfectly happy at Trinity, which fits most of your needs, so I can't see why you are agonizing so much.

Are you going to spend the next four years agonizing about grad school? Go have some fun!

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 06:34 pm: Edit

hahhahah okkk! I just don't want to "regret" not using my ED more usefully.

By Nngmm (Nngmm) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 10:40 pm: Edit

>>Swarthmore won't take me due to rank issues.

It will not be any more of an issue at Swarthmore then at any other top school - Princeton included.

By Carolyn (Carolyn) on Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 11:18 pm: Edit

As the Nike ad says: Just do it.

If you feel you will forever mourn not applying ED to Princeton, just do it.

Stop thinking so much. This is not a game of chess.

On the other hand, just remember that even if you don't apply ED, you ARE going to have some fine schools to choose from in April.

By Jjsmom (Jjsmom) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 12:10 am: Edit

You remind me SO much of my son. I'm a mom whose son who had SATs the same as yours, except switch Verbal with Math, lower SAT 2s and higher class rank. But, like you, he wanted a school without a strong frat presence and a more urban feel.

He applied to Yale EA because he loved it when he visited but more significantly, it was "YALE." He was rejected flat out. He did much soul searching. On his "to apply" list were Middlebury, Dartmouth, Amherst and Tufts. The soul searching had more to do with "name recognition" than finding a school that fits. He adored Tufts upon his two visits, one of which was an overnight. Ultimately, he decided to apply to Tufts ED round 2.

No one was happier than he was the day he got his acceptance, he literally danced around the house. And THAT is key. Which school will make you dance if you get that letter saying YOU'RE IN!

So I'm reading your posts and thinking, hmmm... maybe he should consider Tufts? Tufts is LAC-like in that it isn't huge like most universities. It has about 4,000 students and is the smallest of the research I schools. It has a negligible Greek presence, and is 5 min on the T to Cambridge, another 5 to Boston. My son has already been into Cambridge or Boston every weekend since arriving with his new Tufts friends. He is intellectually stimulated by his classes. He is getting involved in tons of extracurricular activities, especially music, which is hoped for minor. The campus is beautiful and safe. There is a strong international flavor to the campus, as the school seeks out kids from all over the world, and they come.

You want a strong government department??? International relations at Tufts flipflops with Georgetown for the number one IR school in the country. You want a strong art department? There is a dual enrollment program with the Museum of Fine Arts.

If you haven't visited, please PLEASE do. You may find it fits all you are looking for after all. Then again, you might not. But just from reading your posts, I think it's worth a look.

Visit the Tufts board to read what others have to say about it.

I know this is a stressful time. My son went thru it last year this time too. So I wish you tons of luck in your search for the right fit college.

Good luck!

By Enjoyingthis (Enjoyingthis) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 01:55 am: Edit

Ilcapo-- I DEFINITELY hope you will come to a decision you can feel DEFINITE about. Since you may be using this word a lot, you'll be wanting to get it right! Think "finite." That makes it easy. Guess I'm more of an editor than a college counselor! Good luck!

By Bookworm (Bookworm) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 07:41 am: Edit

Funny, I've been following your posts too, and G-town, Swat, UPenn, and Tufts came to mind. I don't know much about P and your interests. All will be good choices. I know how much anxiety you bring to the table, so I can see why you want to put this business behind you by dec. I wish I know more about P and your chances.

By Cangel (Cangel) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 08:42 am: Edit

Ilcapo - why not Swarthmore ED or EDII? I'm not sure your rank will wipe you out, and you sound like a Swattie. Heart and soul into an essay about your intellectual curiosity and hunger to learn more - I think you've got a good shot. They'll like the first generation college part, let your GC counselor explain why your rank is low. ED to Princeton please your confused parents and heart and soul intothat Swat essay.

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 12:14 pm: Edit

Swarthmore has the highest percentage of students in the top 10% of their class of ANY liberal arts college. Just makes me mad I guess.


So I talked to GC, and I am going ED to Princeton. Now only time can tell!

By Jamimom (Jamimom) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 12:59 pm: Edit

There are many approaches to ED. Many say only apply ED if you are sure that is where you want to go to school above all choices. If take that high road, you cannot lose--unless you change your mind. But you can always change your mind. You are just widening the window by going RD since you will have until May 1 to change your mind instead of right around the corner.

My approach has always been to tell a kid only to apply ED if he knows he would be happy to go to that school and end the process right there. If you like Columbia and Brown equally and would be perfectly happy at either, go for the one with the best odds of entry ED. But for kids who have many second thoughts and doubts, ED is not the best choice. If you are applying because of the better odds, you just might get in and then have a bad case of remorse , and it would not be the usual "buyer's remorse" that you could have gotten into a school you preferred.

My son was vacillating between NYU Tisch and CMU as first choice schools. CMU is preferred but they do not offer ED for drama majors. If he applies to Tisch, the process is over and he now has a million and one loose ends that he feels will not go away if he does this. Some other schools have popped up with tantalizing programs and facilities. He met some at an Ivy that want him to give it a whirl despite his dicey academic record. So in short, he is not a candidate for ED much as he would like to end this whole process in December,quit school and work on Broadway for 2005. He has come to this conclusion on his own even as his classmates (60% of them ) are rushing ED. If he does apply ED, it will be a shoot for the moon try at HPY. Otherwise he will go RD and throw in a drama and voice audition at Juilliard just so he can say he auditioned there.

Ilcapo, your letter is enlightening in showing us the agony ED can cause. We all know the benefits well, but I have so often seen this angst that the ED push has brought upon kids, and it is difficult to explain to those who have not suffered it. Good luck to you, whichever way you decide to go. I think if Princeton is your first choice and you would not have any regrets being committed to go there, give it a try despite the odds. They don't get better than ED for you; last year more than 30% got in the ED door vs less than half, nearly a third that percentage via RD.

By Keats (Keats) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 02:40 pm: Edit

With all due respect because I love Jamimom's posts, I think the agony here is not caused by ED but by parental expectations, student indecision(or perhaps needing more information in order to make an informed decision), and letting things get "down to the wire." Personally, I loved ED. There was a school that was a clear favorite for a variety of reasons, the attitude was that it was a longshot for anyone but worth the try, and there were other wonderful schools as choices if not accepted. When accepted, the holidays were enjoyed as well as the rest of senior year. In contrast, there were friends who agonized, and some even well into summer, but the reasons for this agony were: being unaware of the true longshot of admission to top schools, not having other near-favorites waiting in the wings, not having matches, not having safeties, not applying to schools with good aid when aid was needed, and various other reasons that probably could have been prevented.

By Blossom (Blossom) on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 02:50 pm: Edit

I'm w/Keats also. The kids I've seen with agony (both RD and ED) are those without a good understanding of what they're looking for in a school, who are trying to trade off admissions odds for prestige, (ie. "I really love Northwestern but Penn is an Ivy so should I use my ED "card" there?) etc.

Some kids make decisions without ever looking back; others will torture themselves with "what if's" for weeks.

By Idler (Idler) on Tuesday, October 05, 2004 - 10:27 am: Edit

I'll add that I've seen students flip flop (sorry) about what their dream school is more frequently in their Senior year as, through the application process, they learn more about where they are applying. There's a big advantage to playing it out, which may outweigh the supposed advantage of EA. Remember that those EA numbers include a significant number of well-hooked students, athletes, desireable legacies, urms, etc. Back them out and the advantage in numbers for EA applicants is not so great as it appears. Certain schools, notably Princeton and Penn, do seem to present some advantage to the unhooked as well as hooked applicant, but maybe not as clear a one as people seem to think: you have to weigh that against against giving up your options.

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 12:06 am: Edit

My only request is that someone help me snap out of my disenchantment if I'm rejected from Princeton come December.

I can see myself getting very "down" and predicting a dismal life.

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 01:22 am: Edit

Jamimom, my daughter had similar dilemmas as your son (same field, many of the same schools). She is not going ED to Tisch either though if you asked her for many months leading up to this fall, she would have said she was. She still loves it and will be applying RD. No other schools have ED on her list. Tisch is still a first choice but now tied with another school. Going RD left more options and more time.

Ilcapo wrote: "My only request is that someone help me snap out of my disenchantment if I'm rejected from Princeton come December.

I can see myself getting very "down" and predicting a dismal life."

Your comments above really concern me. While it would be understandable to feel a sense of disappointment if rejected in Dec. ED from Princeton, I truly believe that NOBODY should expect to get into a school like that. You should go into such a choice with WIDE open eyes that are REALISTIC of the very very difficult odds. Given those odds, while it is certainly fine to go for it, it is not realistic to expect to get in. If you have your heart set on it to that degree, there is a huge chance for disappointment. I also do not like to see kids so hung up on one school where they would feel so devastated to not get into that one place. They ought to like a few places real well.

From my own personal experience, my D applied EA to Yale last year. She did love Yale as one of her top choices, I would say it was tied for first with another school at the time (though midwinter after EA it was tied with two others in her mind for first choice). All was not riding on Yale for her. Of course she wanted to get in. But she was very very very realistic of the great odds and crapshoot nature for that level of colleges. So she did not EXPECT to get in, not because she did not feel she was qualified or worthy but because the odds dictate that they are slim chances. And that was with even higher stats than yours. Even still, all was not riding on this one decision. In fact, when she got deferred, she never cried or got worked up and even said, "I thought that was going to happen." She moved on and felt proud of getting deferred even (not an easy feat itself last year at Yale) and she kept hopes for Yale alive for RD but did not pin all her hopes in that basket. She knew the lotterry nature of her top schools and I basically hoped that she got into at least one of her top preferences and in fact, she got into two of the three schools tied for first (Brown and Tufts, not Yale). It was a long wait until April but I would not have had her do anything differently.

She never got "down". If you think you will feel that way, I worry about you because even though I believe in you and your talents and qualifications, I know the difficult odds you face and so it is better to prepare for rejection than to expect admittance, while balancing that out with believing in yourself and making sure you love several schools and plug away at the other apps in the meantime. Come NOT to expect to get into Princeton and come away with a wonderful prize if it goes in your favor. It is just ONE school on your list. Make sure you love several.

Susan

By Lfill (Lfill) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 01:57 am: Edit

Amen Susan! Ilcampo, the vast majority of kids, greats stats and all, will be rejected! My son, 1600, val at top NY prep, an amazing scientific project with grant, was deferred ED from Princeton and was incredibly lucky to get in at all. A lot of luck. To pin you hopes on one school that rejects half of the 1600 perfect stat kids is insane. There are so many wonderful schools that will meet your needs. Fall in love with at least three!!

By Sybbie719 (Sybbie719) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 07:56 am: Edit

My adivice is still the same as it always has been , Pick schools with the mind set that if that is the only school which your get accepted into (and it does happen) you will still be happy and focus on where you are going and not worry about where you did not get in.

The HYPS are a crapshoot for everyone. Think of it as purchasing a lottery ticket,you got into the game (which is half the battle) you really don't expect to win, if you do its gravy.

My D loved every school that she applied to but nothing stood out so much that she was willing to eliminate her chances from all of the other schools that she loved, so she happily applied RD and is estatic with her choice.

Don't worry, you will get into a terrific school. You have heard the advice before, get all of your applications ready for mailing because if you do get deferred or rejected your head may not be in the best place to do your best work. If you don't get in to Princeton ED, you can and will move on because once you get in to a school you love, the schools that you didnot get into won't matter.

All the best.

By Keats (Keats) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 08:33 am: Edit

Ilcapo, you began this thread mentioning a bunch of great schools and now you are "predicting a dismal life" if you don't get into one of them? There is something very wrong here.

Perhaps it is because you were, at least initially, in great part focused on how to best "utilize" ED or "benefit the most from it" as well as on "mystique" and "prestige". Over and over here, people have suggested the importance of finding the schools-- at least several perhaps even many-- that are right for YOU. Over and over you have also heard that ED is ONLY to be used if there is a clear favorite among those. Now, you have your clear favorite, but what about all of the others that would be great for you? They are still there!

You know that admission to Princeton is a longshot. Of course it is, for anyone. My own child loved her ED school. The school was a clear favorite, it was worth a try. But probably the most important next step was to prepare the applications of the other schools that were also wonderful choices, and to realize that no matter which of these offered acceptance and no matter which was ultimately chosen, things would be great!

I'm with Soozie and Lfill, here. Don't pin your hopes--line up your wonderful options!

Instead of agonizing, approach the process as befits someone with incredible schools to choose from: appreciate your many choices and line up those other schools. Either accept Princeton as the longshot that it is, or don't apply ED.

By Keats (Keats) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 08:37 am: Edit

Sorry Sybbie, left out your name. Of course i agree with you, too!

By Achat (Achat) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 08:44 am: Edit

Hey, Ilcapo, Tucker Carlson, the articulate, young Crossfire guy attended Trinity College in CT. I may not agree with any of his views but I think he's bright, articulate and is going places within the Republican party!

By Aparent4 (Aparent4) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 09:53 am: Edit

Ditto re Tucker Carlson, and his comments on the air avoid being cookie-cutter. He's impressive, even if he's not a Democrat. ;-)

Ilcapo, the way ED is timed kinda sucks, if I may put it that way. It is really too bad that the results come back right before the holidays. And it is hard by definition to apply to one school with so much enthusiasm without getting your heart set on it. That's why the best strategy is to be sure to get working on your other apps so that you keep your enthusiasm going about other schools. You have a lot going for you, and you are sure to go somewhere terrific. Good luck.

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 01:20 pm: Edit

Ha, don't worry - I don't really mean a dismal life! What happened with my sister was kind of sad though, because she got rejected EA from BC and then thought she wouldn't get in anywhere (since she didn't even get deferred). There were a few months where she had no idea whether she would get into a decent school

All I want is to not get REJECTED but DEFERRED.

It's just a scary thought haha...

By Keats (Keats) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 02:52 pm: Edit

Whew. You did have me worried. But things will be different for YOU because you KNOW there are lots of great options.
I notice that people on this thread had all sorts of suggestions of schools that might be good for you. Just make sure you have matches and safeties, too! Good luck....and carry on happily!

By Jamimom (Jamimom) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 05:28 pm: Edit

Susan, you are so lucky with your first D! So sunny tempered. Mine were all up and down with their moods and more like Ilcapo where some days they were so down in the dumps so sure that no school was going to taken them, or they were going to hate this school or other, or fixated on something they did not like at any given school. Then suddenly they would want to shoot for the moon. "Why aren't I applying to Harvard?", they would ask. "Shouldn't I at least give it a shot?" Even though they did not even show a glimmer of interest in the school up till that moment. S1 pulled that while we were in Boston looking at the schools there and on a pretty tight time frame. S2 is now asking about every school under the sun after we finally got the list down to 10 schools with a number of early action ones that could eliminate some of the RD schools. I am worn out and we aren't even at the audition part of all of this. I am wondering if these kids aren't bipolar or something.

That said, many kids go back and forth that way. Those who have the calm, cool types are so fortunate. I am working with one young lady who has her parents gritting their teeth as she suddenly has decided that her whole list is all wrong and she as to start over. I am so glad that this was one case where I had kept my mouth shut when she was mulling over her schools. Someone's head will roll over this one, LOL.

Even my girls who were generally low key, went through this angst. All kinds of self doubt, second guessing. The thing is even if you fall in love with a school and stay in this mode right up to going there, you can end up deciding it is not for you for any number of reasons. I know several kids who transferred from their first choice schools. And I know in my day, we did not look at the schools unless they were local or by happenchance, and really did not pick so many schools, and I do believe we ended up as happy or unhappy with our choices.

Ilcapo, what you are going through is not uncommon. Good luck with your choices and keep us posted.

By Kinshasa (Kinshasa) on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 06:07 pm: Edit

I am lucky that my S is one of those level-headed kids who can analyze situations, make rational decisions, and move on with a minimum of angst.

In the Dark Ages, many moons ago, before SAT and ACT, he anticipated scores that would make him competitive for an Ivy League school. When his SAT results weren't as good as he hoped, he was disappointed. Then he switched mental gears and broadened his search, keeping certain well-defined parameters -- urban or near urban, good liberal arts (history, government, etc.).

A school's prestige was not as important to him as the fit. The gut feeling, the vibes. I am a huge advocate of college visits. We saw nine schools in 14 days. One school grabbed both of us; ironically, it was the first school we toured. He is applying ED. With his stats, the chance of acceptance is near 100%. Financial aid is not an issue, but the school offers good merit aid.

Most of all, I am proud of the maturity he showed in going about the entire process. He is excited about his potential school and that will translate into a great academic and social experience. Attitude is key.