Light Bulb Joke for Colleges





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Discus: Parents Forum: 2004 Archive - Part 2: Light Bulb Joke for Colleges
By Karie (Karie) on Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 09:45 pm: Edit

Hey just a funny joke I found. Hope ya'll like it and sorry if it offends anyone

HOW MANY STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB AT . . .

Vanderbilt: Two--one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill
Princeton: Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician
Brown: Eleven--one to change the light bulb and ten to share the experience
Dartmouth: None--Hanover doesn't have electricity
Cornell: Two--One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure
Brandeis: The whole school. It would be the most exciting event to happen in years
Penn: Only one, but he gets six credits for it
Columbia: Seventy-six-- one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest
Yale: None--New Haven looks better in the dark
Harvard: One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him
MIT: Five--one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked light bulb two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch
Vassar: Eleven--one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation
Middlebury: Five--One to change the light bulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion
Stanford: One, dude
Oberlin: Three--one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one
Georgetown: Four--one to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students
Duke: A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket
Williams: The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do
Tufts: Two--one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student
Sarah Lawrence: Five--one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it
Swarthmore: Eight--it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress
Bryn Mawr: One- because it would be a violation of the Honor Code if any more did.
Boston University: Four--one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework
Wesleyan: Wesleyan's boycotting GE... you know, military-industrial complex and all that
Connecticut College: Two--one to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the light bulb wouldn't go out
Virginia: Thirteen--Ten to form student committee to vote on whether changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute electricity to Mr. Jefferson.
Bowdoin: Three--one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in
Boston College: Seven--one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time
Santa Clara University: One--but you would never know about it because only Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their light bulbs.

By Patient (Patient) on Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 10:07 pm: Edit

This, and more, appeared here in April. We thought it was hilarious in our household, where the operative one is "One, dude".

By Marite (Marite) on Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 10:10 pm: Edit

My S is pondering between 1, 2, 5, 11 and one that must be plunged in darkness since it's not on the list. No wonder it's where the fun comes to die! :-(

By Patient (Patient) on Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 10:14 pm: Edit

Hey Marite--I have heard that phrase applied to Stanford, you know....

By Bookworm (Bookworm) on Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 11:21 pm: Edit

Lots not on list. Poor Caltech, even ignored in the jokes. No Amherst? Duke? Wash U. would pay to be part of this list

By Jens (Jens) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 12:08 am: Edit

Duke is on there.

By Interesteddad (Interesteddad) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 12:13 am: Edit

>> Wash U. would pay to be part of this list

Or, at least print a 4-color brochure with their joke and mail it to every high school senior on the face of the planet!

By Patient (Patient) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 12:29 am: Edit

I can't figure out how to do the link, but if you go to "message search" and type in "lightbulbs" for parents forum, you'll get to the original thread ("pretty funny post" or something). Amherst is there and many others, and they are funny.

By Marite (Marite) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 08:22 am: Edit

Patient:

Stanford as the place where the fun comes to die? You don't say! I was thinking Chicago.

Oh, and about snow? S says he prefers snow that comes to him rather than snow he has to go to (not a skier).

By Sdfsd (Sdfsd) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 10:17 am: Edit

http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?57277/68841

There you are...

By Patient (Patient) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 11:09 am: Edit

Thank you Sdfsd! How'd you do that?

Marite: I don't know, go figure. I just read that such a sign showed up at some student event at S last year.

Snow: it takes all kinds to make a world. But tell your S that it DID snow at Stanford, for a few minutes in 1976! I was on my way to class (law school) and there were lovely flakes all over the grass, stayed about 10 minutes or so. I myself prefer white mounds of it in the mountains, and not the black icy stuff that develops in cities, but then I do ski.

By Toblin (Toblin) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 03:02 pm: Edit

Rutgers: One - But it will take two years since the school only offers light bulbs every other year.

By Sdfsd (Sdfsd) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 10:30 pm: Edit

No problem, Patient. All I did was copy and paste the URL after I found it...although you can use BBCode (or something of the sort), it gets converted to a link automatically by the forum.

By Patient (Patient) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 11:24 pm: Edit

That's (copy/paste) what I would normally do, but for some reason all I got was the generic URL even though I was looking at the specific thread, but cutting and pasting that just went to the main page of the message boards. Oh well, only marginally literate (e.g., don't know what BBCode is

By Willothewisp (Willothewisp) on Thursday, September 02, 2004 - 11:39 pm: Edit

Caltech: 6--5 to do everything MIT would do, and a sixth to insist that they did it better and MIT was doing it expressly to imitate them
Chicago: 2--One to change it and one to explain how changing the lightbulb is consistent with the goal of providing a well-rounded liberal arts education


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