Son's room when he leaves for college





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Discus: Parents Forum: 2004 Archive - Part 2: Son's room when he leaves for college
By Aurora1219 (Aurora1219) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 09:49 am: Edit

my son informed me that his dad (dh) asked him to take all his stuff off the walls and put all his stuff away before he leave for college (he will be a freshman) next saturday. Dh wants it to be the "guest room". we don't entertain guests regularly, so i thinks it's unkind to expect son to pack away his "home" now. he has the usual movie posters, memorabilia of school functions, lots of friend pictures, nothing sexy or gross.
plus he is expecting to come home once a month, until weather gets bad. what are you all doing with your freshmans room while they are gone?
am i out of sync, not wanting his rom to change for his sake and mine?

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:02 am: Edit

I took my daughters room over for an office, didn't move her posters, but requistioned her desk and closet. Now that she is home for longer than a summer, I have to move all my stuff into another room!
I don't know if you and your husband normally discuss decisions first, perhaps he didn't think that it was that big of a deal, or perhaps there is some other issue behind this going on, and this is how it came out.
I would suggest that he hold off as he probably is busy/angsty enough right now, and when he comes home to visit he can go through his stuff slowly. That way he will know if he needs anything and can
sift through what is to be saved and what can be given to Grandma!

By Garland (Garland) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:02 am: Edit

My kids rooms are theirs till they move out for good, with the understanding that when they're not home, others might sleep in them (this rarely happens--basically just grandma). I would never expect them to un-decorate, especially a new freshman just leaving for the first time.

Perhaps a compromise in which he cleans up and leaves everything neat, but with the understanding that it's still his room, filled with his stuff, and that guests can co-exist with his posters.

It's definitely his "home" still, and I agree it would be unkind to label it a guest room.

By Farawayplaces (Farawayplaces) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:07 am: Edit

Aurora:

You're not out of sync. Our son left for school one year ago yesterday. We left his room the same for this year--except for a massive cleaning. He came home at Christmas to it. We used it as a guest room several times, and I think guests thought it charming to be among his posters and trophies. This summer, though (he's not home), we switched some of his furniture to make it a little less his and a little more "guest." The point is--it's only fair to do this gradually. His parents and his room are the "resting point" of his big new step to adulthood. Try to convince your husband how hurt your son may feel by this gesture; it's as if to say your husband can't wait to get this kid out of his life!

This first year is so crucial for establishing the new adult relationship with your son. And showing some respect for his feelings now is important. We want our kids to *want* to come home to visit us!

Our daughter turns 24 today, and we are still gradually chipping away at her clutter to make her room more ours than hers!

I wonder if your husband's urge may be related to some anxiety about losing his child to adulthood? It *is* hard to gaze into the empty room with all its memories of childhood years.

By Drusba (Drusba) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:08 am: Edit

There are many psychologists who support the idea that the room, at least for freshman year, should be left as it was for return visits so that a sense of still having the ability to come home and have things like old is there. Then, there are many parents that think that is bunk created by psychologists who can't find real jobs and what you should do is create the sense of a true break (and far more fathers fall into that group than mothers). I personally believe it is easier to do the complete room changeover when the student is male. We are leaving our daughter's room as is, at least for a while. A major issue we are facing is that when we explained to the younger daughter (13) that her sister would be going away to college and coming back only once in a while, the first words out of her mouth were, "Can I have her room?" I suspect one night while we are sleeping she will sneak all her stuff into the other room and the issue will be resolved permanently.

By Rhonda63 (Rhonda63) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:11 am: Edit

We left D's room pretty much as is, except I took some books/papers from HS she had left on the floor and put them in a box in the closet. We don't really need the room (although we have a v.small house) -- if I needed to use it as a guest room, I could w/o really doing anything.

I don't see taking stuff off the walls as a big deal, though. What does your H mean by "putting stuff away?" Cleaning out the dresser and/or closets? Where would the stuff go?

I have been bugging my D to clean out her closet, which contains stuff from elementary school, lol, but she has managed to ignore me for two summers now.

By Mom2003 (Mom2003) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:17 am: Edit

My mother-in-law visits for a month each year from another country and that room is forever labeled as grandma's room. It is our main guest room so is used by guests when they come.

I guess our son's room will be forever "his" room even when guests use it. But he has already been told that most of his books which are overflowing his room and the living room bookshelves are to be packed in boxes and lovingly stored in basement. He asks that they be stored in a dry part of the basement and I have solemnly promised this (our basement has had one tiny leak of less than half a bucket of water over the past five years but his books will be placed about one feet above the ground on nice shelves).

By Rhonda63 (Rhonda63) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:41 am: Edit

Drusba -- when my older sister went to college, my younger sister moved into her room. The next year I went to college, and same younger sister then moved into my room!

By Achat (Achat) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:44 am: Edit

I am planning to leave my son's room as is. But with his excellent stereo system (which is he is not taking to college), I plan to make use of that! :-)

But I won't be touching anything else in there. Sort of makes me feel better, he'll come back (although I know he won't).

By Coureur (Coureur) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:52 am: Edit

D hasn't even left yet and D2 is already measuring the room, cleaning out the closets, and planning the new decor. I think she will move in the very day D1 moves out. Personally I think D2 already has the better room, but I guess she doesn't see it that way. I KNOW that D2's current room is the larger of the two, because I've painted them both and hers required more paint. Perhaps there is a hierarchy of bedrooms that is based on intangible factors other than the actual features of the rooms.

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:52 am: Edit

watch out
my sister had one go off to college, so one of her sons moved into his sister's room ( he was sharing), now she has another going off to college this fall but she also just found out she is pregnant!

By Alwaysamom (Alwaysamom) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:53 am: Edit

I honestly never thought about changing my daughters' rooms when they left for college. The rooms are theirs until they move out for good, and these days who knows when that will be? :) We occasionally use them for guests but the rooms are the same as they have always been, and younger siblings will not get them. I want them to feel welcome and 'home' when they come home on school breaks. I think it's a little sad when parents change the rooms.

By Jamimom (Jamimom) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:00 am: Edit

Ha, ha. I had not left the house yet when my family was fighting over who would get my room. I had a miserable closet of a room but my brothers shared. There was a knock down drag out fight between them as to who got the room. My dad had visualized it as a TVroom/den and was even thinking of buying a dorm fridge for soft drinks and beer for himself, and a small desk for paper work. My mother wanted it for her things. Anyways, they gave it to my older brother who crowed for a full day as the younger one sobbed at losing the battle. Then he realized that the younger one now had the large shared room for himself while he got my cell. That he would have to give up when I came home to visit!! We still laugh about that one more than 30 years later!

By Rhonda63 (Rhonda63) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:00 am: Edit

I don't see why a younger sibling shouldn't be able to move into the room. If it's a "better" room, for whatever reason, why not let the kid who is home all year use it? The college kid can use the sibling's room when s/he comes home.

I think we place too much stock in "my room" nowadays. While we had our own rooms when growing up, we were not allowed to shut our doors unless we were getting dressed, and we certainly were not allowed to order anyone (including sibs) out of our room. My parents' view was that the whole house belongs to all of us.

By Marite (Marite) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:01 am: Edit

I can see changing the room if another sibling (or a new baby) needs it, but not for the sake of creating a seldom used guest room. Especially if no guest is actually scheduled to visit, it seems to send a message that the child is no longer a full member of the family but will be treated as no more than a guest. It seems to be severing ties with a vengeance.

Our S came home several times a year. The Christmas break was a month long. During summers, he worked from home. His room remains his.

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:13 am: Edit

thats why I think there is something else going on. First the husband asked the son to pack up his room before heading off to college for the first time and he did so without mentioning that to his wife.
I am not a psych but I have noticed that often when big statements are made, as in asking your child to basically move out, that there is something else behind it.

By Thoughtfulmom (Thoughtfulmom) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:19 am: Edit

Keeping a freshman's room more or less intact for at least the first year does seem like the ideal.

However...I can imagine circumstances where it might be fair to reallocate space when a kid goes off to college.

In my case, I was the oldest of 5, and for many years I had been the only one lucky enough to have her own special space. It was a wonderful private space up in the attic, among the treetops, above the noise and chaos of my noisy younger siblings below--and my parents had given me a free hand in decorating it.

It was a wonderful private retreat--I have many wonderful memories of quiet hours spent reading under the sloping eaves, listening to the rain on the slate rooftop mixed with the music coming out of my radio. (It was nice to be able to select the music of MY choice, without having to negotiate with siblings.)

A year before I left for college, my mother had another baby. We also moved twice in the year before I left for college. The second move came right after high school graduation, a couple months before I went to college.

So there was a lot of room reshuffling going on!

After the dust cleared, I wound up moving into a large room with my younger sister the July before I left for college. I let her take charge of decorating it entirely, with the understanding that it would be primarily her space--there were some dresser drawers allocated to me, and some space in the closet, but I didn't feel the need to decorate it. When I came home from college, I just shared the queen-sized bed with my sister.

Although I was disappointed to lose my private aerie, it wasn't the end of the world. It really would have been quite selfish not to let my younger sister have a turn to create her own personal living space.

I do think I would have felt entirely differently, however, if my parents had asked me to turn my bedroom into an impersonal guest room, just for the sake of the very occasional guest.

By Idler (Idler) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:53 am: Edit

Home is so sad.
It stays as it was left,
Shaped to the comfort of the last to go,
As if to win them back.Instead,
Bereft of anyone to please,
It withers so,
Having no heart to put aside the theft,
And turn again to what it started as,
A joyous shot at how things ought to be,
Long fallen wide.
You can see how it was:
Look at the pictures, and the cutlery,
The music in the piano stool. That vase!

--Larkin (misquoted from memory, for all about to become empty nesters)

By Marite (Marite) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:11 pm: Edit

Idler:

The point though, that we are only part-time empty nesters. We're not into building shrines!

By Mom2003 (Mom2003) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:15 pm: Edit

Our older son has a MUCH larger room, with attached bathroom. There can never be any illusion that S2 has a better room. But the younger one refuses to move into that room (although we have offered to let him). He likes his current one, it is decorated to his taste, the other room will always be his older brother's etc. Its funny how different kids are.

By Idler (Idler) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:16 pm: Edit

Right, Marite, into avoiding it if we can!

By Achat (Achat) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:18 pm: Edit

Idler, very touching and true!

Marite, but psychologically kids never come back, or do they? They seem to be gone, at least that's what my mom says (and she should know, she's an old hand at this). Even when they come back for summer holidays, it is just a way-station for them. I don't know myself, it will be the first time for me.

I know I am wallowing in sentimentality...

By Thumper1 (Thumper1) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:19 pm: Edit

We use DS's room as a "laundry center" when he is not here. The ironing board gets moved into his room and we fold the laundry on his bed. Other than that, it is the same as it has always been (minus the things HE has tossed...just yesterday he threw out his hs senior notebooks). When he comes home, we move the ironing board and the laundry. Works for us, and works for him. Oh...if we have guests we move the laundry too!!:)

By Rhonda63 (Rhonda63) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:49 pm: Edit

Achat -- I have loved having my D home this summer, even with the few late nights when she hasn't called to let us know where she is (grrrr). I am really sad about having to drive her back up to school (only two weeks from today!).

I have a friend whose D also went to college when mine did last fall, and she said she just thought of her D as being "away on vacation." Thinking of the enormity of it all, that D had really left home, was too much for her! I guess we all deal with it in any way we can.

By Achat (Achat) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 01:01 pm: Edit

Rhonda, that's true. And being "away of vacation" is a good thought.

By Newnudad (Newnudad) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 01:20 pm: Edit

Aurora - I agree with Emeraldkitty... It's a self-leveling process over time. Our oldest boy is now a Jr...er Senior! We left his room alone - when he come home, he re-arranges the piles, ads pictures, drops off out of season clothes, etc. We do have to talk to him / ask him about what should be saved/ donated occasionally. If you can spare the room, I vote for letting it alone... He would never admit it, but "his room" is important to him while he is away.

By Aparent4 (Aparent4) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 02:11 pm: Edit

It's nice for a kid to have a home base. After all, in college they are switching from one room to another every year, having new roommates, often being crowded. So if possible, seems to me they appreciate having "a room of one's own." I have been using s's room as an office but have left his stuff intact and moved my stuff back into my main office when he came home for the summer. Next summer he is likely to be away most of the time, so I certainly don't begrudge him the room this year! Au contraire...

Also, someone mentioned the importance of creating the sense of a true break. Why would we want to do that? They are still part of the family as they move out into the world (and back, and out again). I guess in our very atomized, mobile society I am all for maintaining connections.

By Marite (Marite) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 02:29 pm: Edit

Achat:

College kids do grow up, of course. Month-long vacations when college dorms close down are too long a time for a kid to be camping out even if home has become a "way station." And many college students come home during summer, finding work close by. As well, more and more return home after college while looking for jobs. Unless there are other reasons for using a room for different purposes, I don't see the hurry. That's what I mean by no building shrines. Those bedrooms will continue to be occupied for several years after a child has gone to college, because said child will be returning home regularly.

By Achat (Achat) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 02:44 pm: Edit

Agreed. I am not speaking from experience, just listening to what my mom is saying right now.

By Idler (Idler) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 02:54 pm: Edit

Well, Marite, I was just thinking how nice it is to have a big vibrant family, as described by some of the posters above, jostling for the space. The Larkin poem, which I posted because it popped into mind, and I thought might give pleasure to others, isn't about building a shrine it's about more passively "having no heart to put aside the theft/ And turn again..." We're actually talking about selling the house, which will seem too big and empty.

By Marite (Marite) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 03:23 pm: Edit

Idler:

I like Larkin, and like the poem. Thanks for posting it. I, do feel, though, that my kids have or will come back often enough not to leave their rooms empty for long while they are still in college.

We've also talked about selling our house, but not until S#2 finishes college, for the reasons I wrote above.

By Idiias (Idiias) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 03:54 pm: Edit

I'm going to be a freshman next saturday too...when I was organizing my room I couldn't decide if I wanted to take my varsity letters, awards, etc down and put them in the garage. Part of me really wanted to, for the feeling of independence, like I've MOVED OUT. But then I thought how cozy it would be to come home for christmas and see that I'm in MY room. I decided I would leave everything as is, for at least the first year.

By Alphamom (Alphamom) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 03:55 pm: Edit

My only D is leaving home for college for the first time. Over the years we have updated her room to be more age appropriate so it would be fine as is for the occasional guest. She has mentioned that most of her friends are living in rooms that still have the baby decor, need paint, and seem to be waiting for the child to leave so that it can get re-done. Their occupation seems predetermined to be temporary, which we found a little odd. Perhaps including the son in a more mature update that honors his college status would benefit all. My take on the Dad asking S to pack up is perhaps reflective of the way his father treated him. I agree that the dorm experience needs a haven somewhere.

By Momto2 (Momto2) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 04:30 pm: Edit

My take on the Dad who asked his son to pack it up - that just might be what he thinks should happen now. That his son, who he may love dearly and will really miss, is now moved out and onto the next stage of his life.

My Dad was kinda like this. He assumed I was never really going to come back when he brought me to college. I was shocked that day as it was the only time I had ever seen my father cry. (Still true over 20 years later!) Sometimes my Dad's way of dealing with very emotional stuff is to get really practical and focus on stuff to do. Don't just assume the Dad is being cold hearted.

By Sims (Sims) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 04:56 pm: Edit

As someone who is a Junior at college and has some experience with this issue, I thought I would add in my two cents. My mom decided to have me and my sister share a room once I left for school and to turn my sister's room into a guest room. I said I was okay with it at the time, but once I came home I realized I was not.

It makes you feel like you really don't haev a place where you belong. You feel like you are just visiting home rather than actually leave there. I really do not recommend doing it to college students, especially their freshmen year. It can be a really hurtful experience!!!

By Demingy (Demingy) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 05:06 pm: Edit

Alphamom: "My take on the Dad asking S to pack up is perhaps reflective of the way his father treated him."

Well said.

I think it is important to have a personal haven, especially in college when, as someone mentioned above, kids are moving regularly and coming home (usually) during vacations and breaks.

By Cheers (Cheers) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 05:15 pm: Edit

Couruer; Measuring the room. Is that territorial or what? When I left, my sis took over my room--the palace of the house. Suddenly, she was the owner of all the precious furniture I'd been 'given' for Christmas and birthdays? Hmmmmm. Her husband still calls the room "Ellen's Shrine". (She was the baby of the six children).

It didn't bother me. I didn't want to live at home again and I am happy to stay in the guest room when visiting.

My S has been away since January and I confiscated his desk and computer. He has a tiny wee room and doesn't seem too sentimental about it. In fact, he's been home for four days and is already anxious to get to uni, anxious to get on with HIS life.

I feel a bit like a zookeeper keeping a pet! While I want him to come home and be our pet for a few days here and there, I don't feel right keeping him in that room. Those days are gone now....

By Marite (Marite) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 06:01 pm: Edit

>>Couruer; Measuring the room.Is that territorial or what?>

It must be an architect's instinctive reaction to empty space!

By Gtownmom (Gtownmom) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 06:28 pm: Edit

I think I have an important contribution to this topic:

I'm now 40 years old, but right when I went away to college my freshman year my parents moved to a different house. I have to say that throughout all my college years I felt sort of "homeless". I forever felt like a visitor when I stayed with my parents in a house I never officially "lived" in as a kid and a dorm or term-time apartment aren't home either. I can honestly say, looking back now, that this feeling of not having a "home" is part of why I married young. (Luckily it worked out--20 years on Wednesday!). But I always promised myself that, barring emergencies of course, I would not move between the time my kids start high school and the time they finish college so that they would have a sense of "home" as they are growing into young adulthood. This also goes for changing their rooms into guest rooms (I don't want them to feel like guests!) Afterall, they may not be as lucky as I was if they get the urge to "make" a home for themselves as young as I did! Now, once finished college, I expect them to get a job and make a home for themselves. But not before then.

By Debelli (Debelli) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 07:12 pm: Edit

We leave Thursday to take S to school.

His room is quite large and packed with his stuff. When he told us that he never plans to move back here after college, I in turn told him I wasn't going to warehouse all his stuff for 4-8 years and thus started him trying to clean it out. He's made a big dent in it, but there is SOOOO much stuff still left! It will take a long time to go through this stuff, but what he has gone through is going to keep me busy in organizing it to sell at the next garage sale I have.

Since his cleaning started he's found $40 in cash, lots of loose change, numerous unused gift cards, phone cards (expired now) and an array of other valuable items.

I am not taking over the room, just wanting it for once to be clean, tidy and presentable. I'm looking forward to putting on a brand new comforter afer I get it organized AND cleaning the dust dragons out of there (it's so gross). His taste in art work is his taste and nothing matches on the wall, so this will come down, but put in storage (his closet).

Now my thoughts turn to how he's going to keep his dorm room - if he doesn't change, I feel sorry for his roommate!

By Jenniferelaine (Jenniferelaine) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 09:07 pm: Edit

Remind your children they are all very lucky to still have "home" to come home to.

My family moved the week after my high school graduation. I was torn away not only from the bedroom I'd had my entire life, but my house, my front yard, my town, and the friends I hadn't really had.

I have a house, but I'm homeless.

By Aparent4 (Aparent4) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:38 pm: Edit

Gtownmom and Jenniferelaine, I had the same experience of family moving away after I graduated. I hated it!

I note that when S returns summers he redecorates his childhood room with his adult posters, etc. So it has evolved with him...

By Mimk6 (Mimk6) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 10:50 pm: Edit

UCLA told parents at orientation that there is a huge increase of kids going for counseling after Thanksgiving and it is often because the kids are very upset to go home and find their room has been changed -- they feel displaced from their family. They strongly urged us to leave their rooms alone, if possible, for the first several months at least. I also asked my son to clean his room when he left but I think it would have killed me and my daughter if she had had to go through her room out preparing to move across the country. It wasn't the right time.

By Over30 (Over30) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:48 pm: Edit

Youngest already has the biggest room, since he was potty training when we moved in and his room is closest to the bathroom. He doesn't covet his brother's room.

Fortunately we don't need the oldest's room so it's his as long as he wants, but I don't think he would care if he had to sleep on the couch when he's home, as long as his computer was nearby. Neither one of mine have ever decorated their rooms, unless you count colorful clothing artistically draped (thrown) on every available surface. We've offered. When they were younger they would sleep all over the house and spent one summer in a makeshift tent (chairs and sheets) and another sleeping in the hall.

But, my dad still lives in the house they had before I was born, and I still enjoy visiting. I think my boys take after my H, who was a military kid.

By Calmom (Calmom) on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 11:53 pm: Edit

I honestly think it is reasonable for the parent to at least ask the child to do all the "putting stuff away" part. (Taking stuff off the walls is another matter).

I am speaking from the experience of NOT having asked my son to do that. My son has now long since moved out, but his bedroom is essentially a messy storage room filled with all sorts of junk, and his sister still lives in a cramped, tiny room because neither of us has the energy to tackle the mess in son's much larger room. When son is home for a visit, he sleeps on the living room couch because even he can't use his own bedroom in its current state.

So I go along with Debelli - don't kick the kid out, but make sure that the room is left clean & tidy with everything put away, and junk that he doesn't want thrown out rather than adding to the clutter.

By Grlzmom (Grlzmom) on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 12:03 am: Edit

I love this thread as we have been warring over the same subject in my house. A little background first: we live in a very small house, 1200 sf for 4 of us plus pets :) Anyway, as DD is getting ready to leave my husband is thinking, WOW! A room for his hobbies and a treadmill. I finally got through that this is still "her" room but any room not 100% occupied in a house this small will be used as needed in her absence. I'm thinking storage, hiding Christmas presents, etc. We don't "do" overnight guests as we are already cramped. I will be doing a major cleaning, she's been warned to remove anything she doesn't want me to find as I need the closet space :)

By Mimk6 (Mimk6) on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 03:42 am: Edit

My daughter left this morning -- she has the best matress in the kids' bedrooms. Tonight her younger brother asked if he could sleep in her bed -- he's had his eye on that awhile. I think he asked before she'd even stepped off the plane on the other end of the country.

By Fredo (Fredo) on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 03:48 pm: Edit

I may win the prize for most recent experience with this. My daughter went to college last Sunday - and came home last night just for one night (homesick for her friends already!). In the week that she was gone I cleaned up her room. I neatened everything up - washed and put away clothes that were shoved into back corners. Opened the blinds and actually saw the view she has out her windows (best view in the house of a lake). Made the bed all clean and pretty. Scrubbed her bathroom. Hung up all the clothes all over the closet floor (and realized how huge her walk-in closet actually is).

And, yes, I threw out some stuff. Amongst all the clothes in the closet were old, two sizes too small shorts and sweatpants that are too short and absolutely destroyed on the bottom, filthy and frayed. In the bathroom, I threw out the filthy, crusty used toothbrushes, the old razors in the tub, and the assorted used contact lenses cases.

Turns out the shorts were a friend's, the sweatpants were the traveling pants among her close friends, and she didn't have a toothbrush or contact case with her - had planned on using the stuff left behind.

She had warned me that she had "cleaned" out her room when she packed for college but being the neatnik that I am, I swept through anyway to do the real "cleaning."

She was relaxed about it but I think she's probably already feeling displaced. Although I think she appreciated having a clear path to the bathroom and freshly hung towels available.

I think this going away to college thing may take some getting used to on both sides!

By Momofthree (Momofthree) on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 08:13 pm: Edit

I have put off even reading this post until now. What does this mean. Yikes. Having trouble separating? I remarried during the time my D was in college, moved to a new location, and still made sure she had a room to consider her own in my new house. She just graduated from college and has moved into her new apartment at grad school. THIS move feels for real.
Second child is a senior, so we will go through it all again, and third kid, step-son, will go the next year. Then we will have our honeymoon :) but it will seem mighty quiet around here.
I really love this forum. Thanks, everyone.

By Momofthree (Momofthree) on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 08:26 pm: Edit

Actually, we won't go through it ALL again, just the kids' leaving part. The marriage part is great. LOL

By Marite (Marite) on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 09:35 pm: Edit

Momofthree:

LOL!

By Kathiep (Kathiep) on Sunday, August 22, 2004 - 10:58 pm: Edit

Last year when my daughter came home for her first break after going away to college she decided to redecorate her room. She painted the whole thing and asked for a new down comforter for a Christmas present. I liked it because I had been missing her so much it seemed to mean that she would want to come back. Very nicely, though, she said that she thought it would be nice to think of it being the guest room and other people enjoying it. She painted it a deep purple so there's no way her younger brothers would want to steal it.


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