Today is the day---didn't expect it to be like this!!

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Discus: Parents Forum: 2004 Archive - Part 2: Today is the day---didn't expect it to be like this!!
By Dolce (Dolce) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 09:38 am: Edit

We're heading out later this morning to take our first child off to college--about a 20 hour drive each way (why didn't we just plan to fly?!?!)
I've enjoyed having you all to bounce ideas off, and share anxieties and joys with. And now here is what it's all been leading up to.
It's been hard even getting ready; within the past 2 weeks my f-i-l has been in the hospital twice (still there), m-i-l once, my own dad once, uncle diagnosed with inoperable cancer, and my dear friend in another state(who we were supposed to stay with overnight on this trip) had an emergency come up over the weekend. My childcare arrangments for my younger children fell through due to medical emergencies, but I got a plan B worked out.
Whew!!.......I've hardly had time to feel sad about our son leaving!

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:22 am: Edit

Dolce, {{{hugs}}} for you! Wow! If you can get through this, you can do anything. Sorry for all the hardships in your family and here's to healthier days ahead. At least your child going to college, while it has some sadness, it is also such an exciting and happy event. Enjoy it. After 20 hours in the car with him, you just MIGHT be ready to say goodbye, lol.....

Let us know how the early days at school work out!


By Backhandgrip (Backhandgrip) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:27 am: Edit

What a story and sincerely wish you the best of luck with everything.We also took D on a 20 hr. trip to college.I don't know how we did it.I am a firm believer in buying items there and cheap plastic, not furniture like bookcases which must be assembled.Remember your student will have to store items there in the summer so keep items cheap in case he, like mine, just wants to throw towels, shabby sweats, etc., away.Good luck!

By Jamimom (Jamimom) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:29 am: Edit

Dolce, sounds like my days when I am all set to go somewhere, do something. I always need Plans B,C,D, et al and still need to improvise. But enjoy this time; it can be wonderful. My best wishes to you and your child.

A suggestion for the end of the year, or any other time when you need to drive out there: a one way rental with a one way plane ticket can really work out. We would do this with our kids. Last year we rented a van one way to take D and S to their schools. We left very early in the morning, got to D's school in the afternoon, unloaded her, spent the night there, and then headed to S's school and unloaded him. It felt so good to drop off the van at the airport and fly directly home only a few hours by air! And if you do this in advance it can be very reasonable in cost. H did the reverse this year in picking them up for Christmas break--he had business in one of the cities anyways, so he flew in one way, rented a large car, used it for business, picked up D and then S and the three of them drove home sharing the driving. Minimal time and money expended.

By Marite (Marite) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:34 am: Edit

Dolce {hugs}.
No wonder you have not posted much! Let us hope that the long car trip is giving you the time with your son that all these emergencies prevented you from having. Best wishes for your ailing relatives!

By Garland (Garland) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 11:32 am: Edit

Dolce: I feel for you greatly. We are having a similar hard time: FIL passed away two weeks ago, multiple trips back and forth to Vermont, and one more for a memorial this Saturday, four days before S leaves for school. We've had some other family shake-ups this summer, and overall, we are not nearly ready to send S off, even though he's not the first. He'll be fine, but I'm a wreck!

Best wishes to you and your family; at least we don't have the 20 hour car rides!

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 11:41 am: Edit

Garland, I am sorry for your loss. It does add to the stress of this time. Did not know you had relatives in Vermont!

We will be on vacation for a week before my D leaves for college too. Half of it is for family visits out of state including a memorial for my father who died this year and then a few days at the beach for my immediate family. Then my D will have five days at home to get ready for college but my other D will be in school so that will help me to focus on this one. Her 18th birthday is during those five days too. Somehow we all manage to make it work. After these guys leave, we should all have a destress party together! (though honestly, I am in the midst of college admissions with my other kid!)

Again, my sympathies.


By Garland (Garland) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 01:53 pm: Edit

My FIL and his wife moved to Southern VT a few years ago--they had a lot of friends in the Mt. Snow area. Unfortunately, he had a major stroke not long after, which changed their lives horribly. So, I have spent some time in that area, but I think it must be far south of where you guys are.

It' a beautiful state!

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 01:57 pm: Edit

Yeah Mt. Snow is a lot farther south than where I live. I live in another ski resort town. People also retire here. That is too bad about your father in law. I admit, it is beautiful here.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 03:08 pm: Edit

Whups...too late. Best of luck, Dolce. Hope you have/had a good trip.

By Fredo (Fredo) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 03:40 pm: Edit

Dolce: a lot to handle at once. Sorry about all the bad news and good luck with that drive - no way I could handle it!

By Marite (Marite) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 03:52 pm: Edit

I'm sorry to hear about your father-in-law. It is so sad he could not enjoy his retirement. Hugs to you.

By Dolce (Dolce) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 01:09 am: Edit

Hi everyone! We made it almost 600 miles today, and we're in a hotel in Little Rock right now. It was encouraging to read all of your responses. Garland, my sympathies on your loss.

Jamimom, I liked your suggestion about the rental one way.

Guess what I almost forgot in all of this chaos? Today is my birthday!! Ha!!! This will be a memorable one, that's for sure! Not the most fun, but definitely memorable!

By Ilcapo (Ilcapo) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 02:40 am: Edit

Happy Birthday!

Your child will be fine :)

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 10:03 am: Edit

Happy Birthday!!! When you get back home, try to have a birthday date with your husband to make up for it. My recent anniversary was on parent weekend at my D's summer program and we celebrated a different night. I say YOU deserve it!! All the best!

By Alongfortheride (Alongfortheride) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 10:27 am: Edit

Dolce, you're the stuff that legends are made of! I like your style. No whining, just move on to plan B. I'm so sorry that illness has rocked your friends and family so much. I think your resiliency will set good examples for your kids and for everyone that knows you. Life moves on, or should I say pulls us with it? I hope that as a gift to yourself today, you can take that deep breath and just enjoy your son, and the scenery. What an achievement - both your son and actually getting out of town with everything else that was going on! And....Happy Birthday!

Garland, I'm also sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in November. It was the last football game and band senior night as well as application time. It just wasn't supposed to happen that way. Sometimes, I think my son threw himself into his applications and classwork so that he wouldn't have to think about it. We missed him terribly at graduation and I often find myself wishing that he could have seen my son off to college as well. Mom is here, staying with my daughter while we go. It's nice to have her. I hope all goes well with your last memorial service and that you are able to get your son off to school without problems.

By Soozievt (Soozievt) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 10:31 am: Edit

Alongfortheride...similar experience here as my father died in November too amidst college application time,etc. It was rough and he was missed at graduation and also knowing/seeing where my D (and my niece the same age) ended up.


By Garland (Garland) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 11:54 am: Edit

Thanks for the hugs and good wishes. I am glad that my father-in-law did get to find out where his grandson is going to school. He couldn't make graduations, but we did spend a week at the shore with him and extended family, which was wonderful (highlighted by him winning a Texas hold'em tournament which his grandson set up!)

By Dolce (Dolce) on Monday, August 23, 2004 - 11:05 pm: Edit

Whew!!!!! What a sigh of relief! We got home last night from taking our son to college--wasn't sure we'd be able to get out of town with everything happening with our parents. We've been gone a week, put 2500 miles on the van, and feel very confident that our son made a good college choice and that he's going to love Baylor.
I never really got a chance to cry after I told him goodbye. And I was sure I would be a total wreck! After our farewell words and photos, I was trying to stay composed, because my husband wanted me to go with him to a univ bookstore to buy some shirts, etc. After visiting a couple of bookstores, my cell phone rang--it was our son, saying he'd left something in our van and needed us to come back. OK--so we had farewell words and photos for a second time.
Then we went to another bookstore to finish our shopping, spent some time in there, and.....can you believe this.... as we came out of the store, there stood our son chatting with someone right outside of the store! He said "Aren't you guys ever leaving this place?!" So then we had farewell words and photos for yet a THIRD time, and by then it all seemed so funny that tears weren't even a possibility!

By Dolce (Dolce) on Monday, August 23, 2004 - 11:15 pm: Edit

Hey hey Yahoooooo!! I've gotta add this-----I'm watching the Olympics on tv, and a Baylor student just won the gold medal in the men's 400 meter!!! How exciting! And 2 other Americans placed 2nd and 3rd! I'm sure my son and the other students will have fun celebrating this huge victory!

By Marite (Marite) on Tuesday, August 24, 2004 - 06:39 am: Edit


What a great story! And what a great way for your S to start off at Baylor!

By Katwkittens (Katwkittens) on Tuesday, August 24, 2004 - 08:01 am: Edit


My son was accepted to Baylor's school of engineering and honor's college and it was MY first choice for him. I so wish I would have been like you making the commute to Texas!!! I am sure I would have been feeling just as you did!

Unfortunately, for me, he choose an LAC in Minnesota. He left Saturday, flew, and seems to be enjoying it. At Baylor he would have been an aerospace enineering major ( a major he already has 21 units in from attending ERAU during the summers) and at the LAC he is a physics major. So his AE classes will be free electives. Sigh.

Congrats to your son, and I wish him a great start at Baylor.

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