Question About Age-Appropriateness

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Discus: Parents Forum: 2004 Archive - Part 2: Question About Age-Appropriateness
By Newyorker06 (Newyorker06) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:08 pm: Edit

At what age does someone grow too old to vacation with their families? Do any of you feel that once in college, children have outgrown this sort of travel?

By Jenniferelaine (Jenniferelaine) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:15 pm: Edit

As a college student:

It depends on the person. I, for one, would most likely like to go on vacation even if it was with my family. Of course, my family doesn't go on vacation often, and it's usually not for too long. And my sister and I actually get along.

Should you try to force your 19 or 20 year old into going to Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang Land with his or her 10 and 6 year old siblings? For the sake of all involved, please don't.

By Demingy (Demingy) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:15 pm: Edit

My ex-boss was easily in her 50s. She and her husband still regularly went on cruises and took trips with his parents and brother.

By Cangel (Cangel) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:16 pm: Edit

Caveat - only child here - I took a couple of wonderful trips (long weekends actually) with my parents and my college roommate during college. The hellhole of family trips was about 15-16, after one particularly bad experience involving a number of cemetaries (Civil War tour) my parents and I mutually decided to take a hiatus until I was a junior or senior in college.

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:19 pm: Edit

Depends on the kid and the family.
I stopped vacationing with my family when I was 15 and I moved out when I was 17.
My oldest daughter on the other hand enjoys vacationing with us, and I imagine will continue on several of our annual trips even after she graduates college.
On our winter trip we use the resort as a home base, but each member of the family is free to do things on their own or with others at the resort. We have been going there for 16 years, and it is a big part of our family history.

By Arizonamom (Arizonamom) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:26 pm: Edit

If we go on a ski trip or if we could ever afford Europe the kids would gladly come or if their cousins were there. Otherwise they would not be interested. We will try to entice them with trips that appeal to them and promote family togetherness. My dad bought a house down Cape Cod when he retired and all of us flocked there and later brought the grandchildren. It is in my plans for the future to have such a place although being from Arizona it won't be Cape Cod.

By Mom101 (Mom101) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 04:00 pm: Edit

God no. I have a pact with my children that we take our traditional trips forever!! LOL. But in all seriousness, I would bet that the traditions we have created in terms of fun travel that has been centered on them, will make them want to stay with the tradition (and will attract their future SO's to the tradition as well!).

By Sybbie719 (Sybbie719) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 04:06 pm: Edit

I have a time share and offered to give my daughter a week with her friends for down time. One of my sister's has homes in Barbados which she has already commited to my child for spring break (to get over the cold NH weather). she will take us up on our offers but she tells me don't go on vacation without her (she will never pass on an opportunityto spend my money).

By Dmd77 (Dmd77) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 05:09 pm: Edit

A good friend of mine still vacations with her husband, 31 and 33 year old daughters, and their husbands. They are all sailors...

My kids are still vacationing with us--but it gets harder to find a time when we can all go--and a place we all think is pretty cool. Italy is high on the list for the end of May 2005.

By Cheers (Cheers) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 08:11 pm: Edit

Dmd77. We took two teenage sons to Rome and they both slept in until 1 pm every day! Grrrrrr. And it was a December trip so the sun went down at 5! Oh well.

Do you have memories of family vacations that seemed like a UPS nightmare? You know, six kids, a grouchy dad and a rosary-clutching mom shipped to a destination spot via a twelve to fifteen hour ride in a station wagon?

I took a hiatus from family vacations from 14 to 23 but we still try to lure my sons along with us by going to places they'd love, bringing their friends and being prepared for them to resist going to dinner with us. "Trust me, my friends don't want to go to dinner with you."

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 08:15 pm: Edit

It does help a lot to bring their friends. One aquaintances' daughter was even so lucky as to get to go to Paris to stay with a friends grandmother!

12 hour rides is beyond me, we have about 6 hr ride in the winter to the Okanagan, that is about the limit for me.

By Dmd77 (Dmd77) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 12:03 am: Edit

Cheers--when we took the kids to Australia, they stayed up late--visiting some of those Aussie pubs, I think--and then slept late--so my H and I got some time alone. Nice all the way around. (It really makes a difference having them only a year apart in age--many of the same interests.) I did make the kids walk all the way across the Sydney Harbor bridge with me--as their Christmas present to me, to help me overcome my fear of heights. They had to take turns holding my hand, if you can imagine. (When my son took his first shift at it, he said "oh my god, mom, your hand is wet! This is gross!") I made it across, and it did help me in the process. I can drive across bridges without sweating now.

When the kids were almost 6 and almost 7, I drove them across the country--moving from MA to the west coast--driving about 200-250 miles a day for 3 weeks. (My wonderful H stayed behind, packed the moving truck, then flew out to start his new job.) We had a great time--really, that's what the kids say even now. I think we stopped at EVERY tourist trap on I-90. We even had a prescription filled at Wall Drug. Yes, there is a real pharmacy at Wall Drug.

By Cheers (Cheers) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 01:21 am: Edit

Dmd, On the first day, I got out the bullwhip but then I thought, why bother with two sleepyheads? (They visited Rome before).

For the rest of the week, H and I had lovely mornings strolling through our favorite neighborhoods. Boys joined us for lunch, one or two churches and dinner. Then we played "Scarabia", the Italian version of Scrabble. (Guess what? There are a lot more 'A' pieces in "Scarabia"....).

It was our last trip to Europe as a family--though I imagine we'll be back at some later date.

By Mom101 (Mom101) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 01:48 am: Edit

Our family travels have been the thing we all treasure most and the most bonding ritual of any we have. A few years ago, before we moved between coasts, we had the incredible experience of taking several months off to travel around the world. As a family we've been to 40+ countries. I can't begin to explain how this has influenced all of us. I consider our travels the most important part of my children's education to date. My kids will never be afraid to go anywhere or try anything. Their travel has very much influenced what they want to study. My husband and I have also had very special times with our kids individually through travel. A special trip with each every year was our way of giving them a one-on-one special time. I guess I'll be surprised if this doesn't continue as they form their own adult lives.

By Cheers (Cheers) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 02:03 am: Edit

Maybe I overdid family 'bonding' at the dinner table? haha.

Don't know, but... they aren't interested in 'bonding' with us on family vacations at the moment and I can understand their sentiments. Fair enough. Happy to semi-share a trip with their friends. Or let them go alone.

By Carolyn (Carolyn) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 03:37 pm: Edit

Mom101 - I feel, as you do, that the travel we've done as a family is an important part of my children's education. My kids, 16 and 14, love to travel as a family. Maybe it's the style of travel we do - we usually try to rent a house or apartment whenever we go on a longer trip which gives everyone plenty of room and privacy. My kids are also very good friends and seem to always have fun on these trips together. When they get into college, they may not travel with us as much but it wouldn't surprise me if they decide to go off on a few adventures with each other.

By Cheers (Cheers) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 03:59 pm: Edit

I agree that travel is an important part of education. Even more so for this generation.

We were determined to show them how to travel--in Paris as well as Peru and Malaysia. Heck, part of the reason we moved abroad was to show them how to adapt to a different culture.

It's been great watching S do the GAP year this year. He loved it and adapted beautifully to three wildly different spots, each with its own challenges. Our hard work (which was also fun) paid off! Although, not only do I not know what field the boys will settle in, I have no idea which country they might adopt!!

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