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I wonder how other parents of high school seniors are coping with the stress levels in the household this fall? What with our beloved only child soon to turn 18 and leave home, pressures and job insecurity at work, upcoming college costs, and our son waiting on an EA decision and facing piles of applications over his 18th birthday and Christmas, stress levels are off the charts--mine most of all!
Any advice, other parents out there? How I hate this whole process!

By Roger (Roger) on Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 10:33 pm: Edit

Don't worry, Heyjude, it gets better once the apps are in. Then there's just the stress of waiting. Between now and the end of the year, maybe the best thing you can do is try to make some progress on the other apps - filling in the forms, working on the essays, assembling any other materials, etc. The more you can get done early, the less will have to be done at the last minute.

Try to keep things as calm and rational on your end as possible, too. If you seem hyper, it will be contagious.

Also, try to put the job worries aside for now. Console yourself with the knowledge that loss of a job will result in a dynamite financial aid package (if you can plead your case effectively). You need to be a calming influence, not an additional stressor.

To the extent possible, try to enjoy the process! Despite all the stress, I look back on college application time as a memorable shared experience - the process may make you crazy, but you do end up spending plenty of time with your kid!

By Heyjude (Heyjude) on Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 11:02 pm: Edit

Thank you, Roger, that IS helpful, and reassuring too. I do want us to be able to look back on this time as having had at least some silver lining.And I must say that we are having some laughs together in-between the stressful times.

Getting some progress made on all the other applications is good advice, but psychologically hard for him when he's been hoping against hope to get good news from his Early Application.But I think it helped him the other day when I suggested that he should assume he won't get it and go ahead with the other applications. For the first time he sat down of his own accord and made some headway on the forms.

In these trying times, he keeps going by watching the trailer to the next Lord of the Rings movie, which is opening on December 18th. I keep going by drinking numerous cups of tea.

Anyway, thanks again.

By NYmom on Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 02:30 pm: Edit

Heyjude, I responded to you on another message (re Harvard interview). Just had to chime in again because I so share your feelings. One thing we've done is made a family affair out of mailing the apps (might sound silly but it's actually fun). We send out the apps with a "Certificate of Mailing," which requires filling out a form (NOT Certified Mail), standing in the line, forking over the extra 90 cents, joking with the mail official, then celebrating at dinner that evening.

My son has also made an informal process out of helping other kids with their app questions and enjoys this. (Takes his mind off his own process, I think.)

I tried the tea. Couldn't take it. So I went back to coffee...this way I can attribute the jitters to the coffee.

Again, best luck!

By Heyjude (Heyjude) on Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 04:25 pm: Edit

Hey NYmom, Another positive and helpful response. I like your mailing rituals!

Yes, one good thing is that all their peers are going through this together. So for them it is a kind of rite of passage, a difficult path to a new and exciting stage of growth. I, too, am trying to make this process a similarly positive experience for myself, planning things for myself for next year, like taking up Nova Scotian fiddling, or some new, joint project with my husband.

And, of course, just trying to enjoy little things along the way, family times that we won't have next year--like arguing about The Simpsons.

Best of luck to you all, as well.