SAT II Writing, please grade my sample

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Discus: SAT/ACT Tests and Test Preparation: June 2004 Archive: SAT II Writing, please grade my sample
By Springfieldchri (Springfieldchri) on Friday, June 04, 2004 - 05:40 pm: Edit

I didn't quite like this promp, but I gave it a shot.

thanks in advance.

Prompt: "Failure can be a learning experience. I learned most from the time I failed at_____."

Failure can be a learning experience. I learned most from the time I failed a friend. I once relayed some displeasing news to a friend who then became mad at me. Because of thi rift I learned the value of restraint, forgiveness, and patience.

It is often said, "Don't blame the messenger." Though my friend did blame me for giving her some unpleasant news, she helped me better understand relationships. Perhaps the most important thing I learned was how to avoid putting my foot in my mouth. I now think about my words before I speak them, weighing the consequences of my words as I would my actions.

After I failed my friend, there was a long, awkard period in which we seldom spoke. At first, I tried to justify what I had done. Gradually, I came to realize the true effect my message had had. My pleas for forgiveness gushed forth sincere and incessant. Afterwards I realized that I must first forgive myself. I had done what I had done. I couldn't take it back.

It took a while for my friend to come around. Eventually, a competition brought us back together. During this time I learned how to patient. I realized that just as it had taken me time to forgive myself, it would take time for her to forgive me. We performed well at the competition and in our rejoicing, we were able to let go of much rancor.

Failure comes in many ways. Ilearned that one of the most devastating kinds can be a failure in a relationship. However, it is always best to learn from experiences, and I learned how to be a better friend.

By Jer728 (Jer728) on Friday, June 04, 2004 - 06:47 pm: Edit

To be honest, I don't think it's very good. First of all, I'm not really sure you wrote about what they were looking for. I think their aim was for something about an instance in which you were unsucesful in doing something, and what you learned from that experience, rather than a time when you didn't handle a situation well. Also, I know you were going for an effect, but you need to combine the majority of your short sentences, ie: "Aftwerwards I realized I must first forgive myself.I had done what I had done. I couldn't take it back."

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