Hooray! My First SAT II Writing Essay! Please Help!





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Discus: SAT/ACT Tests and Test Preparation: May 2004 Archive: Hooray! My First SAT II Writing Essay! Please Help!
By Calidan (Calidan) on Monday, May 03, 2004 - 10:08 pm: Edit

Here's my very first SAT II Writing essay. The prompt was: "The strong do what they wish." Please grade this and/or give any constructive criticism! Thanks so much!!!

~Many events in history and works of literature support the statement “the strong do what they wish.” The strong are also the ones who make progress in society and challenge the traditional ideas set forth by society.
~During the American Revolution of 1776, many colonial inhabitants wanted to overthrow the overly-stern British government; their ruling power. It took a great deal of strength to do this, since Britain, at the time, was arguably the most powerful nation in the world. Patriots like John Hancock risked their lives by signing the Declaration of Independence; something many lacked the courage to do. The brave patriots who did fight paved the way for the wonderful society that we live in today.
~Romeo and Juliet, from Shakespeare’s play of the same name, were two characters who knew what they wanted to do, and did it. They defied society’s rules and restrictions by having a relationship even though they were from two feuding families. It took a lot of strength to keep their love alive, but they possessed enough strength to challenge not only their families, but also society, and came out victorious.
~In society, it has always been the strong that have come out on top, leaps and bounds above everyone else. They have the power and ambition to do what they desire, and don’t stop until they have accomplished what they set out to do.

Thanks again!!!

By Shaka (Shaka) on Monday, May 03, 2004 - 10:10 pm: Edit

kinda short...good ideas but short..you need to elaborate on your ideas i give it a 3

By Calidan (Calidan) on Monday, May 03, 2004 - 10:18 pm: Edit

Thanks! Anyone else? :)

By Chamonix (Chamonix) on Monday, May 03, 2004 - 10:32 pm: Edit

Way too short, but you sure seem to get the idea. If can make your essay longer, I can see that essay definitally being a 5.

By Calidan (Calidan) on Monday, May 03, 2004 - 11:18 pm: Edit

Thanks! I thought it was a little short... anyone else care to give me a grade?

By Calidan (Calidan) on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 09:36 pm: Edit

bump... :)

By Neophyte31 (Neophyte31) on Wednesday, May 05, 2004 - 05:09 pm: Edit

what are the main factors that ETS uses when they grade these essays? Content? Length? Writing style? # of examples? etc

Thanks

By Shaka (Shaka) on Wednesday, May 05, 2004 - 05:34 pm: Edit

all, lol

By Stonedpanda (Stonedpanda) on Wednesday, May 05, 2004 - 07:18 pm: Edit

ok, on my essay at the very last sentence i made a grammatical error (i said, "they should to do it.") the rest of my essay was pretty good imo, how will that error screw over my grade?

By Stonedpanda (Stonedpanda) on Wednesday, May 05, 2004 - 11:11 pm: Edit

ok, on my essay at the very last sentence i made a grammatical error (i said, "they should to do it.") the rest of my essay was pretty good imo, how will that error screw over my grade?

By Averagemathgeek (Averagemathgeek) on Wednesday, May 05, 2004 - 11:54 pm: Edit

Stonedpanda (what a creative screen name!), closing your essay with a bad sentence could cause a 1 point reduction. This happened to me and caused me to receive a 4 rather than a 5. However, my sentence was severely flawed by bad grammar and even worse handwriting.

Calidan, I would give the essay a 4. Despite being a little short, the essay seems to be well written and provides good support for the thesis. When an additional example and perhaps a longer introduction, this essay could have been a 5.

By Stonedpanda (Stonedpanda) on Thursday, May 06, 2004 - 09:33 am: Edit

Yeah, I can always take it again in June if I do badly.

By Dannyferizzle (Dannyferizzle) on Thursday, May 06, 2004 - 12:18 pm: Edit

uhh you guys have no idea how to grade an SAT II writing essay--if what you guys say is true, "well written, good thesis, good support:--then this essay deserves a 6..

On paper that would probably fill one and half pages of the answer sheet given, a fine length. Remember this is twenty minutes,
Unfortunately some of those elements (well written,good support, clear argument) are missing, so i'd give it a 5.


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