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Discus: College Confidential Café: 2004 Archive: MAJOR CONCERN - STDs
By Copper45 (Copper45) on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 10:24 pm: Edit

My biggest fear about going to college. I know using protection is very helpful, but is it enough? I know one night I may be drunk and want to have sex and what am I supposed to do, ask if the girl has an STD? Obviously, she's going to say no, no matter what. And furthermore, how can you tell who has aids and whatnot?

By Elizabeth22 (Elizabeth22) on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 10:35 pm: Edit

Alright, I'm not quite sure where to start with this one, but I'll give it a shot. STDs should be a major concern for you, and it's good that you've stopped to consider the possibility of contracting one. You know to always use protection- I don't have to tell you that. I'd say that the best way to prevent getting an STD is to only have sex with people you know well and really trust- not just having sex with any random person when you're trashed.

By Arthurd (Arthurd) on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 10:47 pm: Edit

Elizabeth is right.

Also, HIV and other STDs don't always show themselves outwardly. A person can go YEARS without showing signs of AIDS, and when they do show they can be passed off as symptoms of other things.

If you don't trust the person enough to take their word... well, you probably shouldn't be having sex with them... but if you must, you can always have them get tested (they'll probably want you to be tested too) and that is the best way we have nowadays to know if someone has an STD.

By Bumblebee83 (Bumblebee83) on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 10:57 pm: Edit

If you really think it's going to be too hard to resist sex, at least find one person. She doesn't have to be your girlfriend, just someone you trust and who trusts you. and YES ask her if she has something, or if she's been tested. If you can't even do that you shouldn't be having sex. I know that sounds un-feasible, but I can tell you right now that if you ask a girl if she's been tested by saying something like about how you want to be open and honest with her and make sure neither of you has anythng to worry about, she'll like you more for it.

By Asianalto (Asianalto) on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 10:58 pm: Edit

If you're really worried about STDs(which we all probably should be) try to keep your level of drunkeness down somewhat. Party and have a good time...but make efforts to remain cognizant.

By Jenesaispas (Jenesaispas) on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 11:01 pm: Edit

It's STI, people. Get with the program.

Oh yeah, and you'll probably get HPV if you haven't already gotten it, since something like 75% (I'm rounding down. Probably more like 80-85%) of all sexually active people have it.

By Czyrda (Czyrda) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 05:17 am: Edit

stop having sex then

... and don't get drunk

problem solved

By Sticksandstones (Sticksandstones) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 10:10 am: Edit

abstinence is always the best and smartest thing to do.

By Jajas2 (Jajas2) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 02:33 pm: Edit

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Abstinence. You guys are hilarious. No, were not 12, yes we are horny teenagers and yes, we will have sex. Theres not much thats gonna stop it, so to just say "dont have sex" is as bad as doing absolutely nothing at all. You guys are starting to sound like Bush. And thats never a good thing.

By Poison_Ivy (Poison_Ivy) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 02:59 pm: Edit

^ Sad but true.

Yeah... I would be afraid about STDs too. A condon can always break and the STD can show up even two years later.

That's why I would be the girl targeting for the virgin boys... Yup.

By Northstarmom (Northstarmom) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:16 pm: Edit

1. You don't have to become drunk to want to have sex. It's a normal biological urge. Alcohol releases inhibitions, but it's those human hormones that cause a sex drive.

If you want to avoid having sex, then don't get drunk, don't use drugs, and don't get into situations in which it would be easy to lose control. An example would be spending the night in a girlfriend's dorm room.

There is no way to be absolutely sure that your partner has no STI. Some such as genital warts (HPV) can be asymptomatic, and the majority of adults has this virus even those who have never had warts. There is no test to determine if a person has HPV.

I strongly suggest that you read about STIs before you go to college.

By Neo (Neo) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:20 pm: Edit

What's the "I" stand for?

By Jenesaispas (Jenesaispas) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 03:43 pm: Edit


By T2opine (T2opine) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 05:43 pm: Edit

Could someone please tell me what is the difference between STD and STI? I've always been taught that it was STD (Watch, now this will start a debate about the correct term to use). I don't care either way, just curious...

Anyway, abstinence is certainly the only sure way of not getting an STD, but if you're going to have sex, I would have to say that the best way to do it is only have sex with people who you know don't have an STD (or STI). And remember to ALWAYS use protection, and know what some warning symptoms are of STD's.

By Copper45 (Copper45) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 06:11 pm: Edit

Telling me not to party or get drunk, or not to have sex won't help me out, really, considering that I plan to party in college and many others do too. You cannot change that. I may not plan to have sex but there is a good chance it will happen. It is extremely disconcerting that I cannot know if I have an STI or STD or someone else I know has it for a couple years. How the hell am I supposed to tell who has HIV? I guess I just have to be real careful, although when one is drunk that seems to go out the window. Thanks for the responses, any other advice besides abstinence (because that isn't realistic)?

By Northstarmom (Northstarmom) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 06:27 pm: Edit

You were the one who said that one day you might get drunk and want to have sex. Frankly, wanting to have sex is normal. You were the one who seemed to equate wanting to have sex with being drunk.

The bottom line is, though, that abstinence is the only way to make sure that you don't pick up an STI. I am not saying this to be a moralist (frankly, it doesn't matter to me whether adults, including college students have sex), but because it is true.

You can reduce the risks of getting an STI by using condoms, not being promiscuous, selecting partners who also are not promiscuous. However, you still may get an STI.

Similarly, obviously when one is drunk one's judgement goes out the window so one might end up not using condoms, choosing a partner who's known as being promiscuous or even is known to have an STI. If, though, you think the fun of drunkenness makes that kind of risk worth it, go right ahead.

The bottom line is that there's no magic way to avoid exposure to an STI except for abstinence or (of course) having sex with someone who has not been sexually active. Since people lie, particularly when drunk, it may be hard to find a sexually inexperienced person, not to mention a complete virgin willing to copulate with a drunk man.

By Jadex (Jadex) on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 06:46 pm: Edit

Just some info I saw in the paper a while back:

Not promoting abstinence for everyone (do what you want to do), but those kind of odds really aren't worth it, IMO.

Another thing: HIV is the progressive virus that causes AIDS. HIV infections can last for as long as 10 years. Many people with HIV don't even know they have it until serious symptoms show up or they're found to have full-blown AIDS.

All I can suggest is try NOT to drink - you keep on saying that you're going to get drunk; try to exercise some control. If you can't, STAY AWAY from the alcohol. If you're going to have sex with someone, BOTH OF YOU GET TESTED FIRST. All the more reason to stay sober. You can make rational decisions, just use some control. People get killed *every day* doing otherwise.

By Nmoreno1 (Nmoreno1) on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 08:11 pm: Edit

Are you guys sure this wasn't a gag post?

By Czyrda (Czyrda) on Saturday, August 14, 2004 - 01:26 am: Edit

you'd hope so, but from what I've seen people are actually like this.

By Savedbythebell7 (Savedbythebell7) on Saturday, August 14, 2004 - 05:51 am: Edit

Control your drinking. You'll know right from wrong, dirty slut from clean girl and you'll make better decisions. Use protection.

By Alphamom (Alphamom) on Saturday, August 14, 2004 - 01:52 pm: Edit

I read that the highest ST(D)(I) rate in the nation was in Arlington, VA outside of Washington among the most educated population of young adults. Herpes, HPV, and HIV are forever and something you may bring to your dream marriage some day. Obviously, these short sighted people lie pretty well about how "clean" they are. Isn't it worth it to decide early on to be mature for the sake of your future and the one you commit to? I'm not saying it's easy, but I can't see that there are other viable options. Times have changed!

By Fenix_Three (Fenix_Three) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 03:51 am: Edit

On the one hand if you view sex as a big deal you may be able to prepare better for it and choose a good partner.

On the other hand if you don't think it'll be the most emotionally rewarding time of your life you may not want to do it so badly.

Either way, if abstinence is not an option and you do happen to get drunk there are two things you can do:
1. Stay away from girls and release the sexual tension in whatever way you do it by yourself
2. Remember what your frat brothers told you about the girls at the party and pick the cleanest one

But of course, you're more likely to end up with an STI after getting drunk. So there ya go. There's no guarantee. If you wanna party, you got to make some sacrifices.

(How about drinking, but not getting entirely drunk?)

By Number9 (Number9) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:22 am: Edit

As for outward appearance of STDS. When you are drunk, and you see that thing mutilated by a bacteria/virus when (s)he pulls off his/her pants, you are gonna freak out in a drunken stupor and run.

By Chavi (Chavi) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 03:12 pm: Edit

Amazing how important partying is to some people. Maybe you could try thinking a little more long term.

By Mcz (Mcz) on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 11:29 pm: Edit

All we can tell you is what you have probably heard 100 times before.

By Neona (Neona) on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 10:07 pm: Edit

May I suggest the "m" word as an alternative?

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