Where is Osama Bin Laden?

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Discus: College Confidential Café: 2004 Archive: Where is Osama Bin Laden?
By Crazylicious (Crazylicious) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:46 am: Edit

He's dressed up as a woman in Pakistan.

Why is this smart?
1) Women are not very respected in Pakistan.
2) Women have to wear long robes that cover their whole body, save the eyes.
3) Only the husbands are allowed to see more/the body of their wife.
4) There are many women in Pakistan walking around. He could be any of them.

So unless we have super eye-identifying technology...we're never gonna get him :(

Does anybody else have other theories?

P.S. I'm not the one who came up with this theory. My talented uncle did (who has lived in Pakistan for almost 10 years and worked in their embassy)

By Magoo (Magoo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:48 am: Edit

i dunno, maybe he got plastic surgery to look like clay aiken or something.

By Piman3141 (Piman3141) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:51 am: Edit

Osama bin WHO?

By Jstanfie (Jstanfie) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:52 am: Edit

One problem: Osama is quite tall - over 6'1 if I remember correctly. I'm not sure if Pakistani women are of an equal height?

By Crazylicious (Crazylicious) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:53 am: Edit

Haha.. i like the plastic surgery idea. its like that James Bond movie (Die Another Day I think)

By Magoo (Magoo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:53 am: Edit

they could be...its not like they get pointed out for being tall...just as long as they are dressed in their traditional clothes.

By Crazylicious (Crazylicious) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:56 am: Edit

Jstanfie: You have a point. Unfortunately, my uncle is not home right now so I can't ask him how tall women usually are. But women from Northern Pakistan are white/Caucasian (descendants from Alexander the Great's troops) which could account for some tall women...? I don't really know and I can't find the average heights of Pakistani women online.

Why can't we find the dude already?

By Ariesathena (Ariesathena) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:57 am: Edit

I thought that Osama was like 6'5 or something...

My own theory is that he could be dead or dying. Life expectancy in Afghanistan is roughly 45 years; the guy is 47 now. I mean, he's not on the right side of that median!

By Crazylicious (Crazylicious) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 12:58 am: Edit

But Osama is influential and rich (which could prolong his life)

By Magoo (Magoo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 01:02 am: Edit

yes, this is true however u are discounting the fact that he, his family, and connections are worth millions thus increasing his life expectancy because he can afford proper medical treatment from private doctors if he needs it.

>>>edit: oops Crazy posted this logic first.

By Congresssenator (Congresssenator) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 01:04 am: Edit


OMG, we have him already, LOLZ. Watch for Bush, after conceding a dangerous margin in the polls to Kerry, to pull his FINAL RABBIT OUT OF THE HAT.

I predict Osama will magically "appear" around October--just in time for elections!

By Magoo (Magoo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 01:04 am: Edit

hmmm...someone needs to capitalize off this and create a where's Osama version of where's waldo.

By Magoo (Magoo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 01:07 am: Edit

i think senator could be right, my family and i where talking about this the other day...just like they caught saddam, right when the lies about the war were out (im not saying that bush did this, but it did help him gain support).

By Neo (Neo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 01:15 am: Edit

Dude, Osama is 6'6''.

By Magoo (Magoo) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 01:45 am: Edit

does he play basket ball? (maybe he is disguising himself as scotty pippen...think about it...u've never seen them in the same room before...AND THEY DO LOOK ALIKE :))

By Ibkid (Ibkid) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 07:26 am: Edit

holidaying in disneyland!

would he EVER visit the US?

By Lisasimpson (Lisasimpson) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 07:28 am: Edit

osama bin laden? i thought osama bin forgotten!

By Goodchocolate (Goodchocolate) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 08:35 am: Edit

Osama is 6'11 and 128 LBS

By Spit (Spit) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 08:42 am: Edit

haha looks to me like his height is just as mysterious as his whereabouts

By Killertofu (Killertofu) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 08:45 am: Edit

Osama is currently in LA doing the voice of Apu for the Simpsons

By Spit (Spit) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 08:54 am: Edit

hahah thats funny!

Osama would have an Arabic accent though,while Apu has an indian accent. They are really quite different from eachother. Still, the thought of it is funny =)

By Killertofu (Killertofu) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 09:02 am: Edit

Whoops! I think the person who really does the voice is white.

By Noodleman (Noodleman) on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 09:35 am: Edit

Osama is 3' tall, but very well-proportioned. The whole effect is done with mirrors.

By Crazylicious (Crazylicious) on Saturday, July 24, 2004 - 03:03 am: Edit

amazing... the wonders mirrors can do... haha. good one noodleman

By Lethalfang (Lethalfang) on Saturday, July 24, 2004 - 03:41 am: Edit

Yep, Osama bin Laden can afford medical insurances, but I believe his co-payment runs about $25 million for each doctor's visit.

By Trojansrule (Trojansrule) on Sunday, July 25, 2004 - 04:04 am: Edit

why are we in iraq and after sadam instead of in afghanistan/pakistan finding osama.

the most powerful country in the world-with all its riches and intelligent people-that can't find one man.


the govt has him. or at least bush does

By Craigk10 (Craigk10) on Sunday, July 25, 2004 - 04:08 am: Edit

No, there is a lot of land out there that is not controlled (virtually all of Afghanistan and parts of Pakistan -- there really is not much of a troop presence in the country partly due to Iraq). Considering all the resources and support he has in the region, I'm not surprised at all.

By Skiowad (Skiowad) on Sunday, July 25, 2004 - 09:59 am: Edit

Only 10,000 in Iraq. We have more police covering the conventions than that. So we might have him, and thats why the troop numbers have been reduced. And they have so many cops to prevent retaliation.

By Dogsjill (Dogsjill) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 10:05 am: Edit

According to the FBI website:

Height: 6' 4" to 6' 6"

By Songman (Songman) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 10:55 am: Edit

He should be captured shortly. Like maybe September- close to elections...see Michael Moore isn't the only one that has a lock on conspiracy theories! I say September 18th he will be caught! Any other theories or guesses?

By Hunter1985 (Hunter1985) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 11:21 am: Edit

I find it sad that if bin Laden was caught even remotely close to the elections, most people wouldn't appreciate it. They would be yelling, "Conspiracy!" and "Bush set it up!" etc. Now, if it happens the day before the election, there's justification, but if it happens in Sept. or October, sorry but I don't think it's possible. It's funny how people would rather see George Bush lose the election than Osama bin Laden caught.

By Scorp (Scorp) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 12:14 pm: Edit

What happens when we get Osama? The terrorists find a new leader. They don't have much loyalty anyway they just need someone firm to beat them in to shape. We get Osama and it may cause even more terror.

First you have to destroy the whole terror network and then get rid of the head. First take his money, then destroy the cells, punish all the lesser people that are involved. Until they are completely powerless and then go for the head.

They'll make a little noise but since no one is willing to put their life on the line for a dying terrorist network it may all just calm down.

By Annakat (Annakat) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 12:15 pm: Edit

no, some of us would like to see bush lose the election because he focused his sights on saddam (who had nothing to do with 9-11, but who was sitting on world's 2nd largest supply of oil), rather than on catching bin laden (150,000+ troops in iraq vs. less than 30,000 in afghanistan/pakistan). the argument that saddam was so evil and oppressive only goes so far in justifying the war (since there were no wmds)--if the current administration is so concerned about human rights atrocities, why don't we have troops in some african nations?

By Hunter1985 (Hunter1985) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 12:22 pm: Edit

That's not what I'm saying, it just seems that people do not want to bin Laden caught because it would help Bush, people would actually be upset if we caught him before the election...the reason being because it would help Bush.

By Lucifersam (Lucifersam) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 09:47 pm: Edit

The capture of Osama Bin Laden isn't really a big deal at all. "Terror", when it comes to that terror originating in Western Asia and parts of Northern Africa will always be, until the Israeli/Palestinian crisis is resolved, and probably still not until America gets off their backs. Contrary to what many believe, having enough American soldiers deployed in Afghanistan to fill my large town is not preventing America from becoming a chaotic terrorism-riddled mess, and neither is American occupation in Iraq or pretty much anywhere else. Diplomacy and simply wising up when it comes to foreign relations would do a lot better. Congressenator does bring up an interesting point, however. Well, that's what I have to say about it.

By Craigk10 (Craigk10) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 09:55 pm: Edit

Exactly Lucifersam, exactly.

What I said earlier was to point out hypocrisy in the "fight" on terrorism. If catching al Qaeda leadership is a priority for this administration then to have so few troops in Afghanistan is hypocritical.

By Alongfortheride (Alongfortheride) on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 10:13 pm: Edit

Osama's with Elvis and they're both going to appear shortly before the election.

By Vyasan (Vyasan) on Sunday, August 22, 2004 - 12:44 am: Edit

no way, i saw osama disguise himself as a BigFoot. he's hiding in the himalayas, lives in a cave and kills american and european mountaineers. so if you ever hear of a person who died there by falling of a mountain or something tell 'em it wasn't an accident.

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