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I moved in on Saturday in to the dorms, and so far it's been good, but I'm a little disappointed. Thne people on my floor are good people and fun to be around, but they aren't really the kind of people that I can become close friends with because they don't seem to be into the party scene. I go to UCSB, and it's starting to make me feel a little disappointed when I walk around campus and see the other kids, who are the type who like to party, and they already have made friends. My question is, do people often become close friends with the people they meet in classes, or usually only with the people in the dorms? Classes start on Thursday here, I almost can't wait because I'm starting to feel bored. I've been to only one party so far, but it sucks because I don't really know anyone I can do that with. Is it as easy to make real good friends in your classes as it is in the dorms?

By Gfjigi (Gfjigi) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 05:26 am: Edit

close friends are made in dorms, what dorm are you in?

By Plinko (Plinko) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 05:46 am: Edit

I'm in Manzanita. Is it still pretty easy to make good friends in classes, because although the people in my dorm are definetely good people, I just can't bond with them.

There are 2 other people on my floor that I haven't gotten to know yet that seem like they might be into partying, I started talking to them today, so maybe I can eventually become friends with them, but I still need to meet more people when classes start. I'm used to having a good social life and having "cool" friends who are into partying and were in the big social network from my high school, and I'm starting to really m iss that.

By Coureur (Coureur) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 10:45 am: Edit

Yes, you can become good friends with people you meet in classes. I met my wife in organic chem class. Actually, you can become good friends with people you meet ANYWHERE; it just may take differing degrees of effort on your part.

By Fendergirl (Fendergirl) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 12:05 pm: Edit

You can meet friends ANYWHERE. i must say, i only have about three GOOD friends that i lived with in the dorms freshman and sophomore year.. and I live with them now in an apartment..

all of my other friends have been met in classes- say hi to the people near you.. last year in my one class this kid next to me said hi youre in my blahblah class right and i said yeah and hes like cool wanna study tonight.. and we got together and invited some others over and now we're all good friends.. or i've met friends in our sparts den which is our hangout.. i went over there with a girl i met in class and now i hang out with everyone there all the time.. so check out hangouts on campus, stuff like that.

you'll meet people if you really want to

By Plinko (Plinko) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 09:30 pm: Edit

Is it still possible to meet friends in those huge lecture hall classes, because 3 of my 4 classes are like that. I guess I could show up a little early and say hi and try to start a conversation with someone sitting next to me, but I don't know if that would work. I feel weird saying what's up to random people on campus, even at events, will I get a bad reaction if I do that once in a while at an event or say a hangout or restuarant in Isla Vista?

By Harpgirl27 (Harpgirl27) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 10:34 pm: Edit

join a club or something like that...it's a great way to meet people with common interests.

I met a LOT of my friends through frosh activities...actually the friends I sit with in most of my classes, none of them live in my dorm.

By Mikemac (Mikemac) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 11:28 pm: Edit

Plinko,

there's a saying that you can't have too many friends. Even if the people on your dorm floor aren't the right match for you, maybe some of their friends/acquaintances will be! At this early stage people aren't really friends, they are just getting to know/recognize one another. So the more people you interact with the better you are. For example, one of those people in your dorm might be randomly sitting next to someone you *do* want to get to know, and if they are talking outside of class and you stroll by its a lot easier to approach them if you haven't totally shunned the people on your floor.

Just relax and let it come to you; everyone is in the same boat, not knowing too many people and looking for connections. So say hi to the people next to you in class, in the cafeteria, etc.

By Northstarmom (Northstarmom) on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 10:00 pm: Edit

It's not that hard to make friends in class.

Say something to the the person next to you something like, "I was really worried about the test. (or "I found the test easy/hard) What'd you think of the test? " What'd you think of the homework?" "Have you taken other courses here in this subject?" (Follow up that with "What were those courses like? " "I am thnking of majoring in XXX. Is this your major?"

Most people are happy to meet someone else, but may be too shy themselves to start a conversation. The key is to ask a question, and also tell a little about yourself so the other person has a hook to keep the conversation going.

Another example, "I'm glad I made it to class on time. I come from XXXX dorm, and it is so far to walk. Do you live close to here?"

By Plinko (Plinko) on Thursday, October 07, 2004 - 11:09 pm: Edit

Well it's about two weeks later, and I haven't had any success. I've tried a lot of the things suggested above, but either the conversation would die pretty quickly or the other guy couldn't even help me out with something in that class. Any more advice?

By Fendergirl (Fendergirl) on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 12:53 am: Edit

is there anyone that you have in more than one of your classes? if so you could ask them what they thought of a test.. or go to a common hangout place on campus and just go hang out.. i shoot pool and i've got dozens of friends from that..

By Northstarmom (Northstarmom) on Saturday, October 09, 2004 - 06:10 pm: Edit

For the conversation to continue, you have to hold up your end. You also have to start a conversation with someone who seems available for conversation. For instance, if you see someone doing their homework in class, that's not the person to start a conversation with.

Example of how to keep a conversation going,
"I'm so glad that I got here early. I come from XXX dorm, on the other side of campus and I was sure that I was going to get here late. Do you have far to walk?"

Other person: "No, not far."

You. "Are you lucky enough to live in XXX dorm around the corner?"

Other person: "No, I live in XXX."

You, "What's that dorm like? I (insert some kind of upbeat phrase about your dorm).... "

Other example,

You start a conversation with, "Gosh, that homework was hard. I'm a XXX major, and this class is a tough one for me. Is this your major?

Other person: No.

You, "Are you majoring in something related to this or is this something that you enjoy?"

Other person: If they say they like it, ask why. If they say it's required for their major, ask if they like the course or ask how it relates to the major....

Make a point of also saying "hello" to people whom you've spoken to in class before.

Also notice if other people have on t-shirts, jewelry or carry books that indicate they have things in common with you. If they are wearing a shirt related to your favorite band, for instance, compliment them, and say that's your fave band. Ask them if they've been to a concert.

And do go to meetings of organizations that interest you. That's probably the best way of making friends. Volunteer for committees, too.

By Plinko (Plinko) on Monday, October 11, 2004 - 06:04 am: Edit

I'm now starting the third full week of classes, is it still early enough to make friends pretty easily? Is the "window" still pretty open right now?

By Welshie (Welshie) on Monday, October 11, 2004 - 06:29 am: Edit

That window never closes.