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I know this sounds odd...But I'm sick of staying in my clothes all day. I mean, I don't want to strip down completely and make my suitemates uncomfortable or anything...I just want to be able to take off my top and walk around with my bra and pants on. Is that a big deal? It's not like I'm showing anything, but they still look at me like I've sprouted two heads for doing so. Which makes me feel uncomfortable.

Maybe it's just the environment I grew up in. In my home, we almost never wear clothes. When I came home from school everyday I stripped down immediately to my undies. I simply hate wearing clothes all day, and this dorm room can't become my home until I can be less than fully clothed in it.

By Aim78 (Aim78) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 08:21 pm: Edit

Take it all off. Then turn on your webcam.

I think it'll be okay if you're gradual about it. Like as the weeks go by just slowly start wearing less and less. It shouldn't be a problem.

Guys don't really care about this sort of thing, it's like a locker room. So girls shouldn't care at all, since they're closer and all that.

By Thenarrator (Thenarrator) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 08:25 pm: Edit

you can always come to my room and strip down to whatever you want.

you should talk to your roommates about it and explain to them about how you lived at home. they may be more comfortable with the lack of clothes if they knew why.

By Lame (Lame) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 09:43 pm: Edit

If my roommate did that, I'd turn the air conditioning on really cold so she would get dressed again. Obviously your roomies are NOT comfortable with it. But in your defense, if you did it gradually...like not in the first month, or just hung out on the computer rather than walking around or something, then I think your roomies would be better able to acclimate themselves to it. Maybe they'll even try.

By Northstarmom (Northstarmom) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 09:52 pm: Edit

I think it's time for you to realize that how you were raised was quite differently than how most people in this country are raised.

What's normal for your family would strike many others as odd, bizarre, low class or even perverted sounding.

If you wander around in your underwear, your roommates might think that either you lacked common sense or class or that you were making a pass at them. They also could be embarassed to have friends drop by.

If you want to be "comfortable," then wear something like lounge pajamas.

By Hoo_29 (Hoo_29) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 10:04 pm: Edit

Can't you just where cheerleader shorts and a tank top???

By Anglophile (Anglophile) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 10:29 pm: Edit

I have every intention of running around buck naked
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Ok ok, I wouldn't do any such thing. But it's a funny idea... Um, yeah, waltzing around in your undies probably isn't the best way to impress your room mates.

By Aim78 (Aim78) on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 11:55 pm: Edit

But just on the computer or at the TV, I see nothing wrong with that. Walking around aimlessly with little on, yeah, that's weird. Then people know you are focused on the clothing aspect, and that's a bit nutty. But if you're doing something productive and just happen to not be wearing your Sunday trims then it's a different story.

By Megofou (Megofou) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 12:00 am: Edit

I've done the sports bra and shorts...at bedtime. That's about as far as my roommate and I undress in front of one another. Anything beyond that and we give the warning "I'm changing" call to avoid akwardness.

By Jason817 (Jason817) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 12:22 am: Edit

unfortunately, things like that are seen as 'slutty' which is just incredibly stupid. Not sure on how to help you though. Sorry!

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 01:32 am: Edit

The thing is, I'm not "waltzing" in my underwear. I don't find it weird or peverted not to be fully clothed in one's own living space, as long as private areas are fully covered. And I don't see why anyone would. I realize that I can't be as unclothed as I was at home, but there has to be some sort of happy medium.

I wasn't aware that how I was raised was in any way aberrant. I still don't see how it is in any way aberrant.

Being uncomfortable in clothing is not a matter of loose fitting vs. tight fitting to me. It's more how I've spent the last eighteen years of my life.

It isn't sexual, and I'm not an exhibitionist. I don't understand how the guys will feel comfortable with other guys sitting around in their boxers, but my suitemates find it odd that I'm not in full dress 24/7. Double standard?

And notice I said pants, not panties. I never emerge from my room only covered in underwear. I don't think it's a big deal to go from full dress to removing a top (with bra underneath, of course).

I don't own cheerleader pants or tank tops or pajamas. Never have. I've always only purchased necessary attire (underwear, pants, and tops). Every new piece of clothing designed is intended to eat away from hard-earned money. I don't see why anyone would need other items than the ones I've listed.

By Ellemenope (Ellemenope) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 02:46 am: Edit

Living with roommates is NOT like living with family. I only lived in a dorm setting with a roommate once, but I would have found it weird if my roommate walked around all the time with only her bra on.

I would see nothing wrong with doing like Mr. Rogers and putting on your "in house" sweater and slippers upon coming home.

By Thebarnrat (Thebarnrat) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 05:10 am: Edit

That's really weird. No one I know would have a problem if you were to lounge in a bra and shorts or whatnot. I always give like a half-joke warning like "I'm getting indecent so don't look unless you want to." I don't see why its a problem. I wouldn't necessarily wander around my hall in my underwear, but thats because I'd risk the change of running into someone's visiting parents or something. But like literally NO ONE I know would have an issues with it. Maybe its a California thing?

By Lifeisgood (Lifeisgood) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 08:37 am: Edit

This may be just the way my dorm and my friends are, but we're always having guys and girls over to our room... as in every little bit, people pass through, hang for a bit, etc... So I would think it would be pretty puzzling... Of course, not everyone is like that.

By Matth (Matth) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 10:27 am: Edit

There are a ton of guys on my floor and I can say that none of us ever lounge around in our boxers. As others have said, the way you did it at home is far from the norm in most families. If it obviously makes your roomies uncomfortable, and I fully understand why it would, then it's up to you to change your behavior and not do it. You're not at home anymore.

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 10:31 am: Edit

get lounge clothes that are comfortable,but decent. and underwear is needed we don't want to be sure that you aren't wearing any.
I am comfortable myself if no one is home, running around half dressed, but once you are in a shared living situation, you are not at home, and it is an invasion of someones personal space to force them to see things they might not want to see.
If you can't afford new clothes, used clothes are lots more comfortable, already worn in and all that.

Is there a section on roommate selection for this?

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 11:50 am: Edit

Just because something might be the "norm", doesn't mean that everyone who is not the "norm" should conform. I mean, I've had a guy here tell me that once when his father took his shirt off, he couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him. Is that a healthy attitude? It's not like his Dad was nude.

Matth, I've been to a lot of guys' suites and I always see them lounging around in various states of undress.

And I hate to reiterate myself, but I realize that I'm not at home and therefore I'm not as undressed as I would be at home!

As for "forcing them to see things that they might not want to see", I wonder what that would be? Arms? Belly button? Back? Does anyone see how ridiculous this is?

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 11:53 am: Edit

"But like literally NO ONE I know would have an issues with it. Maybe its a California thing?"

Maybe, but the girls in the suite across the hall from me don't find it a problem. It's odd that mine's do.

By Emeraldkity4 (Emeraldkity4) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 12:41 pm: Edit

you said that you prefer to lounge in your bra and pants.
That leaves a lot less covered up than exposing the top part of your back and your arms.
What about tops of breasts, stomach?
If you are in good shape you are going to be more tolerated if you hang out in a bra and pants than if you can't see your feet
Just think a bout it, a 32 b girl is a lot less in your face if she is running around with just a bra on than someone who is 42FF.
I am all for a little more modesty, what happened to mystery? I do not want to look up from studying and see your crack!
My personal space perhaps is more important to me, than yours is to you, but that doesn't mean my feelings shoouldn't be considered

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 12:56 pm: Edit

"I do not want to look up from studying and see your crack!"

First of all, that would never happen, trust me! It is true that I'm a little on the full-chested size, but I wear bras that cover everything because I need support.

I'd also like to add that in the end, my suitemates' comfortability is paramount to my own, at least in my estimation. However, maybe if they knew more about me or my motivations, they would feel more comfortable.

By 3togo (3togo) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 01:00 pm: Edit

Hi Candi - I would guess the norm at your home is not typical and would make lots of people uncomfortable.

At our house we're pretty open about our bodies ... for example, we leave the doors open a lot when other families would be more modest. We've had to talk about this with our kids when they started spending overnights at other people's houses ... everyone's comfort level with their bodies and other's bodies is different and needs to be respected. Our openness at home works for us but does occationally create situations where the difference from the typical family pops up.

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 02:46 pm: Edit

"What about tops of breasts, stomach?"

I hope you realize that a lot of girls show these things, "fully clothed", technically, and in public. I'm a very modest individual, in fact, I never wear shorts or skirts in public because they garner a lot of unwanted attention and they reveal too much for me--in public. I never wear tops that reveal cleavage either.

By Alleya17 (Alleya17) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 03:42 pm: Edit

Candi,
I agree with the person who suggested sitting down with your roommates and discussing the way you feel. My first year in college, I ended up in a room at the opposite end of the hall from the air conditioner, so it was one of the hottest rooms in the dorm. Because of this, my roommate and I got used to walking around in just a bra and jeans. We kept shirts nearby and put them on if anyone stopped by. No one else in the dorm thought this was unusual. I think that if you explain to your roommates how this is a comfort issue for you, after a week or two, they'll get used to it. One thing that might make it easier for them is if you only strip down when you're doing things alone (working on your computer, doing homework, watching tv alone) but wear clothes whenever you're doing things in a group (watching tv in a group, chatting together) or if someone stops by to visit. People are right that you're sharing a room now so you need to be respectful of others, but this is your home as well and you have every right to be comfortable in it.

By Silent_Angel (Silent_Angel) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 08:35 pm: Edit

Im a person that after showers i will walk around my house in my bra and underwear... my dad always goes "geesh shell, put some clothes on" but i just ignore him... i get ready at my house when my friends are there with my top off but pants on or sometimes even in just undies and bra. I am not a big chested girl by far... so its not like anything is bout to fall out... i personally am comfortable walkin around in just covering the necessities. i think that just loungin around in ur bra and jeans in ur room or just sittin on the couch *assuming u dont share that living room with ur entire floor* acceptable. it would be a bit odd to go around in ur undies and bra only... but each to their own. i also agree that a lot of women already show their stomach *parts if not all* and the tops of their brests with the style of shirts they wear. plus.. u go out in public in the pools with attire that resembles just bra and underwear... why cant your lounge around in the privacy of your suite or dorm room with jeans and a bra which covers more than most bathing suits?

By Alita (Alita) on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 08:52 pm: Edit

Suggestion-get a bathing suit top and wear that around. It may make people more comfortable since it seems like "real" clothing.

By Jl87d (Jl87d) on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 02:58 am: Edit

Mind you I'm a guy but, it seems like that would be weird to be your room mate.
I mean, I might sleep in just my boxers, but I certanly would not expect my roomate to put up with me going like that during the day, and I would certainly not put up with that from him.

By Toblin (Toblin) on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 04:04 pm: Edit

I'm surprised at how prudish people have become. In my day (long ago) I lived in a co-ed dorm with both genders sharing the same floor. It was every day usual to see girls and guys walking to and fro the bathrooms in their underwear. But then again, the thong had yet to be invented.

By Bettina (Bettina) on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 09:15 pm: Edit

I don't think it is a matter of prudish or not. It is a matter of consideration for others. Others may not find it appropriate to see you walking around in your bra. The OP thinks there must be a 'point' to every article of clothing, but fails to see the point of casual, comfortable at-home wear that does not attract the notice of roomies. It is ridiculous to think that only a bra will be comfortable (I find braless is more comfortable, personally.) I sit around in my underwear at home too, but not when my roommate is at home. If she sees me go the the bathroom in my underwear big deal, but I'm not going to sit around in it talking to her.

I think OP has trouble with the different settings, thinking that she wants only to do things as she has always done, and failing to differentiate the two places, since if she sleeps there they must be the same and perfectly tailored to her comfort. However, such a minor issue in the roommates from hell threads.

Please refrain from personal attacks on other posters. You are welcome to disagree with others, but not to "critique" others.

- Moderator Mulder

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 09:33 pm: Edit

Bettina, perhaps you are making this a personal issue? Are you perchance holding a grudge over something else? If so, I wonder if it can be remedied...

By Sillystring7 (Sillystring7) on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 10:00 pm: Edit

Well, I was in college a long time ago, but I have a suggestion. Why not get a comfy, long, oversized T-shirt? That's what my roomie and I used to wear when we were lounging around our room. It's more comfortable than "real clothes," but covered up enough to be appropriate.

By Bluealien01 (Bluealien01) on Saturday, September 25, 2004 - 02:33 pm: Edit

Okay....why would someone wander around at home in front of family members in their underwear....?? That's different that wandering around in your underwear in front of your significant other. I certainly hope you folks don't do this in front of little kids.

By Liek0806 (Liek0806) on Sunday, September 26, 2004 - 06:56 pm: Edit

Candi, I say do what makes you feel comfortable. I mean a bra and pants is no big deal. It would be different if you'd be walking around in a thong and bra. Just be yourself. No big deal. If someone has a problem with the way you dress, that person should come up to you and notify you that you make them feel uncomfortable...and then maybe you should worry.

By Liek0806 (Liek0806) on Sunday, September 26, 2004 - 06:58 pm: Edit

Candi, I say do what makes you feel comfortable. I mean a bra and pants is no big deal. It would be different if you'd be walking around in a thong and bra. Just be yourself. No big deal. If someone has a problem with the way you dress, that person should come up to you and notify you that you make them feel uncomfortable...and then maybe you should worry.

I mean at home I walk around in boxers and a tshirt, becaues I feel comfortable around my family but if I were living with strangers, I wouldn't do that be comfortable.

So just do what makes you feel comfortable.

By Geniusash (Geniusash) on Sunday, September 26, 2004 - 08:11 pm: Edit

I sleep in my underwear and a bra. So before bed that's what I wear (in college). My family is sort of like yours. You're not weird, don't worry!

By Flashbackfl (Flashbackfl) on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 01:23 am: Edit

There is a big difference between family and new roommates. I think the issue here really is not whether you are right or wrong, normal or not, but how it effects the others in your room. If they are uncomfortable then you just need to get some comfortable shorts and a tank top. It is important to think of others and how they feel about this. It seems that there are far more important issues to deal with at college then this. You aren't at home anymore and you need to face that fact and deal with it IMO. Work out some compromise that won't make them uncomfortable and won't be too hard for you, i.e. gym shorts and tank top

By Wunderkind__Not (Wunderkind__Not) on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 08:46 pm: Edit

my roommate and i walk around, study, go on the computer, etc. in our boxers. for guys, it isn't unusual...heck i am used to being in a speedo 6 hours a day! the girls on my floor do it also, with cheerleader shorts and wifebeaters. it is all relative, depending on many variables. be sure to talk it over with your roommate, and if it isn't brought up in a while, go for it! nobody likes a prude. (maybe some people do)

By Erosmalice (Erosmalice) on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:10 am: Edit

REJECT ALL BASIC ASSUMPTIONS OF CIVILIZATION,
ESPECIALLY THE IMPORTANCE OF CLOTHING!

Candi, ever think about transfering?

By Editrix (Editrix) on Saturday, October 02, 2004 - 12:46 am: Edit

Candi--

I was sad to see this post, because this doesn't seem an issue that's worth clashing with your roommates about. I'm not saying that there's one "normal" approach to wearing clothes, but when there's a suite of people, with guests popping in and out, it's not outrageous for your roommates to expect you to wear more than a bra and pants. (Yes, there is a double standard for guys; they're also allowed to go topless at the beach.) You can buy tank tops or T-shirts very cheaply, if you didn't already get some at orientation.

Leaving home is both one of the best and one of the hardest things about going away to college. Learning to negotiate workable compromises with people with different values and backgrounds is as useful a lesson as anything else you will learn there.