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Nice site, BTW. I'll be a senior this year and I'm doing the college search thing and all that. I'm kind of hung up on how to tell what kind of school would be the best match for me. Im a bigtime introvert--not a dweeb--but I like my quiet time a lot. I go out now and then and get along well with other kids but Im looking at college as a chance to study an learn about stuff that my high school doesn't offer.

My stats are good enough to get into some big name schools but its real hard to tell what these places are like just from reading about them. I plan to visit all the schools that end up on my list but Im worried that I might make the wrong choice.

Will I have a hard time if most of the time all I want to do is study instead of going out and getting drunk? Do non-party people like me have a hard time in college? Thanks for the help.

By David Hawsey on Monday, August 13, 2001 - 11:09 am: Edit

Dear Introvert:

I know exactly how you feel. I went to a large, private urban university in Philadelphia, and was one of only 103 liberal arts students in a sea of engineers, business administration, computer science and other "tech-heavy" majors. And I was not a member of a fraternity, so I didn't have all that to deal with. Not that frats or sororities are a bad thing -- I did not need that social support structure (brotherhood/sisterhood, etc.) to get me through college. Many do enjoy it, and that's OK.

Your best bet is to stay overnight on a Friday or Sunday night at the colleges of choice. This gives you a wide range of experiences, including campus-sponsored entertainment (concerts, plays, other student life activities), as well as an idea of exactly how quiet things are on a Sunday night. Some schools are really, really quiet on a Sunday because students are catching up on homework, etc. The library is a good place to check out on both these nights (Saturday is OK, too) because it lets you know where to go when others are not there -- crowded one day, not the next, etc.

What's to do on campus on any given day or evening? Are there coffee houses, student union buildings with alternative places to eat, study, or socialize that are non-alcohol oriented? What clubs and social organizations are there, that might cater to smaller groups of students where you might be more comfortable? Are there opportunities to start your own student club that attracts others with similar interests?

Be sure to ask the admissions office or the staff who arrange for campus visits (one day or overnight) to assign a student host to you with similar social and personal characteristics. It won't do you a bit of good to stay overnight with a fraternity brother or sorority sister, a varsity athlete who spends all his/her time at practices, or a super-conservative religous student whose personal preferences and insights might be different than yours or place you in an awkward position (the "discomfort zone"). Then again, this might be what you are looking for.

In short, be specific with the staff who arrange your visit. They'll ask "What do you like to do, or what would you like to see?" Don't tell them, "Well, I'm kinda quiet, so whatever I do I don't want to be surrounded by groups of loud, screaming party-people."

Instead, tell them what academic programs most interest you, what extracurricular things you like to explore, and please share any specific dietary, sleeping, or other "health and sanity" related needs that you have so your stay is as comfortable as possible. This includes things like preferences for substance-free overnight housing, etc. If you don't tell the staff what you need, they can't assure you the best-possible experience.

Once they hear enough of "who" you are, let me assure you they'll know where to turn to make the most of your visit. There are others like you already on campuses across the country, so don't worry. However, how do you tell what the school is like without visiting?

One great source is The Princeton Review's "Best 331 Colleges." Inside, you'll find inside glimpses, written by students themselves, that give you a balanced idea of what it's really like to attend a specific college.

Good luck as you search for that "perfect fit"!

By Dave Berry on Thursday, August 16, 2001 - 07:36 pm: Edit

I'm glad to hear from another introvert! Being an introvert doesn't mean you're anti-social or a reclusive book worm. It merely means that you prefer to channel your energy inward toward the realm of thoughts and ideas rather than outward to the world of people and things, which is extraversion (Jungian spelling, there).

As I mentioned in another thread, go to www.keirsy.com to find out much more about your personality and preferences for living your life. You'll be amazed at the difference a little self-understanding makes. Here's to introversion!

By Roger (Roger) on Wednesday, August 22, 2001 - 05:44 pm: Edit

Intro, just about any college is going to offer a very wide range of people and personalities. Every school, from Ivy to party school, is going to have both very serious students and party-types. (The percentages may vary from school to school, of course.) You will probably hang out with a very small portion of your classmates, and you should have plenty of opportunities to find people that you get along with but don't crowd you too much.

By TheThinker on Thursday, August 30, 2001 - 05:06 pm: Edit

Hey, Intro... Since it sounds like your stats are pretty strong, check out U. of Chicago. While all of the top schools have plenty of studious individuals, Chicago probably attracts more than most. Even their application is a bit intimidating in terms of length and number of essays. But, if you are really motivated by learning and an intellectual environment, they could be worth a look.

If you are looking to relate to your classmates intellectually, Columbia offers its unique Core Curriculum. You will be taking the same classes and reading almost the same things as every other first year student (and the same things as the upperclassmen did when they were first years). You might find that you are less solitary when you have a very bright peer group with common topics to talk (or argue) about.

By AJ on Wednesday, October 17, 2001 - 05:42 pm: Edit

Hey introvert, just join the wildest frat you can find once you get on campus. They'll cure you in a matter of weeks.

By Dadster on Sunday, October 21, 2001 - 08:07 pm: Edit

Very helpful suggestion, AJ. ;) Actually, though, there is a kernel of a good idea there. Fraternities and sororities can be a good way for a relatively shy person to meet plenty of people of both genders. Maybe the "Animal House" variety would be a bit much, but there are certainly many houses that include serious students but still have an active social schedule.

By WYstudent on Wednesday, November 20, 2002 - 01:08 am: Edit

In my college there are Honors Fraternities. These are the students who are interested and serious about studying, but want to have a little bit of a social life as well. My school also has what are called FIGs (Freshmen Interest Groups). These are a way for freshmen to meet other kids who have the same interests and major as themselves. Students who belong to a FIG are housed on a floor with other members of the FIG, they take a couple classes together and participate in group activites. Check to see if the schools you are interested in have similar programs.

By Matt Jacobs on Saturday, December 07, 2002 - 04:55 am: Edit

I come from the midwest and am a currently a sophmore at UCSB. I came strictly to party becasue I heard UCSB was a big party school. As a freshmen I partied 80% less than I did my senior year of high school. I though it would change as I stayed longer, but it has not. It is a big party school, but only for kids who have never drank or partied before in thier lives(typical California sunshine kids). But for a heavy midwestern drinker, its no party at all. No bars, no large frats, only weak house parties that by law are shut down at 12:00 a.m. If your a rich california kid, its a great school, but UCSB for sure doesn't live up to its name(all cali hype).