Recently waitlisted, please rate essay

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Discus: College Admissions: March 2004 Archive: Recently waitlisted, please rate essay
By Jandaportrait (Jandaportrait) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 11:48 pm: Edit

hi, i've recently been waitlisted. please rate the content or appropriateness of this essay i'm going to send to the admissions office.

I run my fingers over the coarse paper, every inch of skin pushing over those indeterminate grooves my chalk pastels inevitably fall in, creating the picture that only I can see. It works. I pursue the drawing, and the medium is caught in those grooves as if in the safety net that ultimately limits the meeting of inexplicable chance with perilous fate.
And then I am lost. Mental conscience and arm and hand and fingers and chalk—to paper—and subjects and society and the immediate and the ultimate; time passes over my head (and I with it) to the mysterious oversoul that governs our society to an extent unfathomable by you or me or any other constituent to this power.
What is the third degree Taylor polynomial for a function defined as…
…And I’m off, back to the union of chalk and paper, of the physical with the spiritual, of the mind with the imagination. My fingers dance across the page, and I run with the lines—away from academics—to that muse-like holy union that inspires me to excel. This time I return with more grace for that A on the calculus test and those successful 90 minutes in chemistry lab.
But I am empty. I reach into that ever-providing well of creativity and pull out more and more and I quench the overbearing thirst from the most rigorous course load. The chalk—from my hand—becomes the hand of a soul and it pushes against that heavy door of coarse paper, into that world of inspiration for guidance in its return for practical application.
I run my fingers one final time over that coarse paper, closing my eyes to finally see that substance I have most stringently attempted to communicate.
The polynomial is…
…And I begin a new work.

By Ifonly (Ifonly) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 11:50 pm: Edit


By Caligirlatheart (Caligirlatheart) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 11:54 pm: Edit

you seem artistic, talented. your essay is very creative, something creative ppl would appreciate, but I'm not sure if admissions officers will take the time to really understand it.

do you plan to enclose it with a letter, maybe?

By Jandaportrait (Jandaportrait) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 11:58 pm: Edit

i wrote a letter yesterday (the day i was wait listed) and sent it off today. the letter is MUCH more concrete. i just feel like this essay i just wrote was the "optional" essay i should have sent instead of my one commenting on current events/patriotism..

By Jandaportrait (Jandaportrait) on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 12:00 am: Edit

also, i'm applying to the architecture school.
you can see some of my work at

By Nop86 (Nop86) on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 10:28 am: Edit

what do you write in the letter?

By Dionne2004 (Dionne2004) on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 11:25 am: Edit

there's obviously more to it than just a story about a speaker drawing/writing on paper.. but its a bit difficult to interpret in the limited time admissions officers probably dedicate to application essays. maybe clarify a bit more? allude a little less? having just read it quickly once, im guessing its about your future or your contribution to the college experience... but its hard to say exactly. good luck though. i hope you get accepted!
ps. is this essay an additional essay you send to supplement your application from the waitlist? is it required or did you write it voluntarily? which school are you applying to?

By Angstridden (Angstridden) on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 11:41 am: Edit

I have to agree..its hard to read and understand.Sorry

By Noodleman (Noodleman) on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 01:18 pm: Edit

Drop the reference to "Society." Overused. Kills the essay.

Otherwise, nice (though obtuse and perhaps overwrought, grandiloquent and gravid with adjectival palaveration).


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