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Since we're talkin about aisan parents lets share some of the most embarassing yet hilarious quotes/ actions of asian parents. I'll start off.

Asian mom at SAT prep class

"This prace firthy. I pay 100 dorrrar for u to crean the froor"( FOB accent, so L's pronounced as R's).

Mom of asian kid at school

"You are so lazy and useless. Look at your cousin John. How can i face the rest of the family. While John at Princeton you ONLY go to UCLA."

By J0h (J0h) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:20 am: Edit

"emm-ayy-teee, siii-dan-foo"
repeat 1000000000000000000X

By Innsayneidiot (Innsayneidiot) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:20 am: Edit

Asian dad:
"1440? 1440??!!! Forget Berkeley! You'll be lucky if you can get into UC Davis!"

By Sammywu (Sammywu) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:25 am: Edit

" If don't study now, you will end up at sleeping in the cardboard box in the future."

By Emyh (Emyh) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:29 am: Edit

"Everyone gets a 1300... I'll be happy if you get a 1600."

By Infatuazn410 (Infatuazn410) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:36 am: Edit

Q: "an A-?!?!?!?? Why isn't this an A?!??! Why not an A!?!?! Why an A-?!??!" (have been asked this many times)

A: "DOODE it's still an A" (my often-repeated mantra)

By Evan195 (Evan195) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 02:00 am: Edit

Me (talking to Josh's mom): "I got a 1600... I guess Josh just isn't as smart as I am"

Josh's Asian Mom: "Joshua! Why you not get 1600! even da white boy beataa you" (In thick chinese accent)

Josh's reply: "Mom.... he is lying"

Josh's Asian Mom: "You awwwe a diskwase to famali" (Then proceeds to send Josh off to a summerlong SAT camp in China Town)

By Sizandy (Sizandy) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 02:24 am: Edit

evan, did you really lie?

haha

man.

By Napoleoncomplex (Napoleoncomplex) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 02:30 am: Edit

(after I get a 1600)

Mom: "Heh--they must have made it easier this time." (first reaction)

By S3mantix (S3mantix) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 03:27 am: Edit

"start to writing your appeal now"

By Abz1986 (Abz1986) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 04:21 am: Edit

"Go to HAHHHH VAHHHHHHHHHDD!"

Actually I don't think my parents have said this, but I can picture them doing so...

By Sleepdeprived (Sleepdeprived) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 04:55 am: Edit

"Di ju get A?"
me-"yeah,i got a 90%"
"Is that A?"
me-"yup, it's an -A"
"So it not A! Ju say ju get A!"
me-"it's the SAME!!!"
"If -A same like A, then why there 'minus'?"
me-"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Ju be calm. Ju no get A"

(an actual conversation. similar versions of this has been reenacted many many many times)

By Bellevueteen (Bellevueteen) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 05:37 am: Edit

Many many times...

"So I heard Jane Doe got into ________"
"Yeah."
"What were her stats, extracurriculurs, other colleges she got into, how did her interview go, who else got in, what's her blood type - how rare is that?"

By Momfromtexas (Momfromtexas) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 07:58 am: Edit

Hey Guys
This is a great thread with some outstanding standup comedy material. I have heard some of the same comments in my house. Arab father/American mother. Son comes home with report card- all 90-100, except an 89 in honors pre calculus. Dad (no mention of the 95 in chemistry) "What is this 89 in math? You should be getting all 100's at this high school. OK tutoring every day and bring me your guitar and CD player. Do you have a problem with things being hard? Life is hard. Do you think medical school will be easy? While you are fooling around the other kids are working hard."
Seriously kids of Asian parents, do you think these high expectations do make kids better students? I think it happens in my family. My sons do work up to their father's expectations I have noticed.

By Britbrat8604 (Britbrat8604) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 09:10 am: Edit

well my parents arent asian, but my dad is a freak when it comes to the report card. He doesnt care that all but one are "A"s.....hes just like "what the hell did you get a B for?!?!?!?" then he grounds me and makes conferences with the teacher and makes me go to her tutorial until its an A again. Haha wait until he sees the final report card....senior year cruise control-what?

By Pricklypear203 (Pricklypear203) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 10:27 am: Edit

Me: OH MY GOD, I just got a 93% on my calc test!

My Asian Mom: Don't worry. Try harder next time.


Me: Mom, I just can't apply to Harvard. My college counselor said I needed saftety schools.

My Mom: Fine. You can apply to Columbia then.

UGH!!!!!!

By Tonny (Tonny) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 10:39 am: Edit

-_- STABS PRICKLY =P

By Chardonnay (Chardonnay) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 12:30 pm: Edit

mom- if you don't study hard you'll end up ringing bells outside of stores!
this is a direct translation, and yes, my mom is referring to the salvation army collectors. for some reason she thinks that they're beggars ...

By Voldex (Voldex) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 12:42 pm: Edit

Me: so how bout i major in political science?

Mom: Great, I always wanted you to be a cab driver.

Me: You know, poli sci is a really good major, and i love doing it.

Mom: You not listening, you will do economics, no more.

Me: ......

By Mike (Mike) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 12:43 pm: Edit

read the priceton board. all american kids without immigrent parents think lower then 1500 not going to ivey is a failure.

mike's dad

By Mjl86 (Mjl86) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:06 pm: Edit

this is what happened to be

i found out that i was the dal at my school, and i told my parents and they said. "only number 2?"

By Mjl86 (Mjl86) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:10 pm: Edit

Bellevueteen,
are you from bellevue, washington? If so, which school?

By Ohio_Mom (Ohio_Mom) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 01:38 pm: Edit

I thought this thread was pretty funny until I got to the part about all A's expect for the B in pre-calc - which I seem to have said myself. Ahem. Maybe its my 1/8 Tajik background (does central asian count?).

By Spuck (Spuck) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 02:45 pm: Edit

"a B in lit? what happened there?"

"you do realize a 1320 won't get you very far"

(friend to friend)
"you got a 770 in SAT II chem while in chem AP? dang, if i'm in chem H, then i better study super super hard"
(in the end he got a 780, relatively over-exerting himself)

note to all: study smarter

By Chardonnay (Chardonnay) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 02:53 pm: Edit

really? my asian friends and i never talk about grades and stuff, except when we complain about how our parents care too much about them.

By Charlez (Charlez) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 05:35 pm: Edit

i really don't think race has very much to do with it =)

i have asian parents and they're pretty lenient on me with grades. they're fine with my 3.5 mix of A's and B's. but then again i guess it's because they've gotten used to it. in 6th grade my parents wanted me to aim for 4.0. but after getting my first B...they just gave up =D

moral of the lesson: get a B early on

i attend AHS where about 70% of the student body is asian and i agree that it is very competitive
however, i think that its not JUST because of race, but because of other factors

i.e
1)alot of asian students that feel pressured to get into HYP are usually first generation colege students. they're pressured because the family wants to establish a legacy etc etc

2)parents love to brag about their kids (admit it all you parents that read this board =) ). now for an asian immigrant (or any person from outside the U.S), you want your son or daughter to get into a college/university that people back in ur country know about...HYP..you know. Getting into a great school like amherst, pomona college, reed, u mich ann arbor, ucsd (w.e the list goes on and on) doesn't work. i go back to china and tell people there i got into U Mich and they ask "whats that?" "is michigan part of the U.S?" "I'm sorry you didn't make into harvard"...

3)The grading system in china and taiwan is drastically different from the U.S system. In china, class rank is extremely important. Starting since 1st grade, everyone knows whos ranked 1 2 3 all the way down to last place. Getting below 90% in a class IS horrible. However, many asian parents have trouble adapting to the fact that and 80% is considered "good" in U.S public schools and that a 70% is AVERAGE.

=)
o well
i liked reading the posts here

its good to laugh at ourselves sometimes

By Jennyzsong (Jennyzsong) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 05:47 pm: Edit

bahahaha this thread is hilarious. I can just see my parents saying the same thing.


mom: so when will you be hearing from Harvard?
me: mom, I didn't apply to Harvard.

next day
mom: have you heard from Harvard yet?
me: MOM I DIDN'T APPLY TO HARVARD

later
mom: you should have applied to Harvard. Sarah applied to Harvard. She will be laughing while you flip hamburgers.



*after i got 99% in Calc*
dad: where did the other 1% go?
me: ARGH
dad: who got better than you?

By Ndbisme5 (Ndbisme5) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 05:53 pm: Edit

Those were hilarious!

By Pricklypear203 (Pricklypear203) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 06:18 pm: Edit

My mom comes home w/ groceries...
I ask her, "So, what did you get?"
My mom, ignoring me, says "The new doorman asked about you."
Me: What?
My Mom: He asked how old you were.
Me: oh
My Mom: He also asked where you were going to school. I told him you were going to Harvard. That ought to shut him up.
Me: "WHAT???? OH MY GOD, I didn't even get a letter yet!"
My Mom: you better get in then

By Texas137 (Texas137) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 06:25 pm: Edit

this reminds me of engrish.com

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 06:31 pm: Edit

Mom: A B+ in calc ap?!? aaaiiiyahh!!! penn state (she means upenn) wont even let you use bathroom!!


Dad: You are such a failure and disgrace to this family! Look at cousin Eugene, I bet he's going to get into Harvard
Me: Dad, Eugene locks himself in his room and studies all day, he has no friends, hes a loser
Dad: YOU ARE A LOSER!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN SCORE A 1500 ON SAT!!

By Ceo1093 (Ceo1093) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 06:47 pm: Edit

This thread is hilarious.

Ohio Mom,

I am 1/4 or maybe 1/8 tajik too.

By Mjl86 (Mjl86) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 07:14 pm: Edit

oh i wish i could show my parents these posts, then maybe they would understand.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 07:15 pm: Edit

My parents are definitely THE typical Asian Parent!

*Actual Conversation (translation):*

mom: (to me) you didn't get number one?

me: shakes my head.

dad: (a little mad)you are such a disgrace("loss
face") to our family!

mom: (mad, adds) and a disgrace to all
Chinese people!

me: laughed accidently and try to cover it up.

dad: (annoyed) why can't you be like
________(insert another chinese guy/girl's name) he/she knows to study! and you? you "play" (waste time) all day!

me: tries to "explain"... (and prove that
i'm innocent & did study)

mom: (stops listening, gives up)you might as
well quit school. Why dont you go to a Chinese resturant and start to wash dishes!???

dad: (jumps, look wildly at my mom) wash
dishes??????are you crazy? MY daughter is not going to wash dishes, not even when i die! You HAVE TO go to a Good college (in their mind :HYP) in America and be better than (Americans) everyone else find a good job and to live!
Now Go to your room QUICKLY and
STUDY!!!!

mom: *sighs sadly* ~~how did (we) raise such
a stupid child?

By Crazichic98 (Crazichic98) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 07:35 pm: Edit

And the truth comes out...LOL

i wonder what tommy thinks (the guy who started this)

Yes, get ur bad grades early! LOL


My parents are the typical azn ones... and frankly i don't know how u guys score higher than 1200+ on those SAT.

I celebrated when i reached the 4 digit number for the SAT.

No matter what, We'll succeed, just to prove to our parents and they'll keep bragging.

I got yelled at for being admitted to UC-DAVIS

MOM: What? what happen to SD. u didn't get into SD. I don't have the money for u to go to DAVIS and and put me into debt. Ur a nobody...*stops speaking to me...for several days*

By Mult1taskr (Mult1taskr) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 11:48 pm: Edit

it's my senior year right now. my grades are good. except for this one C htat i got in AP Lit (i hate writing...) anyways, so i get my midyear report card, and in the middle of the A's, there is one C, just screaming.

so i show it to my mom. and it's amazing how she just ignored the good grades and looks squarely at the one C. it took me a few minutes to calm her down and explain to her that it's not the end of the world. my sisters were there laughing at me the whole time.

but actually, at the end of the day, my mom supports me. and doesn't pressure me. i pressure myself mostly. (btw, yah, i'm asian) so my parents are pretty cool. but that one time cracks me up.

By Ohio_Mom (Ohio_Mom) on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 11:54 pm: Edit

Hi, Ceo1093
Tajik isn't all that common, its interesting to run into someone else that is. My maternal great-grandmother was a Tajik - she married a White Russian officer of the Czar's army. As a Muslim wife of a Russian Orthodox man, she was lonely, but her children adored her. Her son, my grandfather, was born in the 1860's (we have really long generational spans - just late starters) and visited this country before the turn of the 20th century, then returned to Russia, and bugged out before things got messy in 1917. He met my grandmother in a department store in Omaha, NE - she was selling gloves, and could barely speak English. She was born in Bosnia-Herzagovina, of Jewish extraction. As immigrants, education was very important to them - although as a second generation American things were not nearly as stressed for me as it is for most of the posters on this thread. Most parents want their children to be happy and have good lives. We forget too often that badgering our offspring is not always the best way of reaching this goal.

By Studyguy346 (Studyguy346) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 12:04 am: Edit

talking to indian mom about SATs....

Me: "Well, I'll probably be happy with a 1500."

Mom: "1500? That low? You need to aim high or you'll never accomplish anything"

Me thinking: (did i miss something)

By Chen (Chen) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 12:11 am: Edit

*mother making up college list*
Harvard
Princeton
UPENN
Brown
Dartmouth
Vanderbilt (safety school!)

M: You didn't get into WUSTL?! HAHAHAHA. You get rejeceted from Cornell. HEHEH. *death stare*

*mother waking up daughter dreaming about WUSTL*
christEEEYYeeeeene-christeEeeeyyYyyyyne
*daughter wakes up*
is someone dead?! o yeah, i forget, this happens every morning.
*mother*
Matt got a 1550 and is got into Dartmouth and harvard. Julie got a 1560 and is going to Yale. HEHEH. PrOBably, you just go to UCONN.

the above is the typical old asian mom response to colleges. ppl posted some hilarious stuff whether eralted to college or not.

By Mkhman (Mkhman) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 02:10 am: Edit

This is weird, At my school, which is all asians and is a very smart and competitive school. There is only a few asian kids who ahve parents like this. Most are normal and dont care about their kids' grades, so stop trying to show off that your parents are so strict on grades. Everyone's parents on this board are probably strict, not just asians!

By Chen (Chen) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 02:15 am: Edit

Mkhman, that's not true. We're just poking fun at the situation we're in. I'm sure other people of other races can relate, but a lot of them can't. Asian parents use different detrimental tactics, but you can often find common similarities It's more like we're poking fun at the situation of having the CRAPPY senile kind of asian parents that can't reason and blend into american society. It's true, I have asian friends whose parents are very kind. And strict parents don't necessarily produce good grades. I don't even think having strict parents produces good grades in general.

By Aerin04 (Aerin04) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 02:19 am: Edit

mkhman... chill. i doubt that you are asian, otherwise you wouldn't have posted this.

these people are not trying to show off. they're just poking fun at the ridiculousness of a certain aspect of asian culture. asian parents are funny not because they're strict but because they all say the same damn things!

lol, so lighten up and laugh with us because this •••• is great.

By Aerin04 (Aerin04) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 02:19 am: Edit

wow, chen and i have a psychic connection.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 02:28 am: Edit

Only about 12,000 people score 1500 or better on the SAT I in a single year. (Yeah, I know, and 11,000 of them are here on CC.)

There are many more than 12,000 Asians. Ergo, even most Asians won't score *even* a 1500, let alone higher. And, well, some of us Anglo, Black, and Hispanic folk are going to do it as well.

Need to teach basic math facts of life to some Asian parents I'm a thinking.

By Medlevell (Medlevell) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 02:41 am: Edit

i'm not asian, but i know a lot of asian parents with a "no ivy = no future" mentality. some of these asian parents need to let go a tad bit.

By Radioactivepb (Radioactivepb) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 03:26 am: Edit

im not asian, but at times my parents certainly act it.. i remember sophomore year, when i got a 6week progress report, my dad looked at it and flipped over the A- in bio. 1) still an A! and 2) there were 12 weeks left in the semester. after that, i made it quite clear (i think) that i didnt really want them involved in my school stuff, and i kinda shut them out, and things havent been too bad. i still get questions about why i got a B or C on a given test, even though my class grade may be a 95% or more (and glorious edline makes it impossible for me to hide ANYTHING). but i got into my first choice school early decision, and they havent even asked about the UCs that i applied to, so i guess they're backing off. hooray. now my sis gets to reap the benefits of more lenient parents. i broke them in for her.



If every discussion about race were branded "racist"-----where and how would we evolve? It is possible (and proper) to discuss racism without being hateful. Well intended humor can serve a useful purpose.

Sheeprun
<moderator>

By Alwaysuturnin (Alwaysuturnin) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 01:01 pm: Edit

edited
Moderator

By Angelique (Angelique) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 05:11 pm: Edit

Lol. A recent conversation I had:

My mom: "So, how was that math test?"
Me: "YAY! I got a 104."
My mom: "How many bonus points were there?"
Me: "5."
My mom: "... WHERE'S THE OTHER POINT!?!"
Me: "Erm."
MY mom: "You're hopeless, Kathryn!"

~_~;

By Daonesteven (Daonesteven) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 05:13 pm: Edit

John (kim or chang or chin or gupta...): hey mom
Mom: what did you get on your math test
John (brushing off his shoulder): oh hehehe easy A
Mom: what percent
John: 99% fasho!
Mom: okay time for family conference

By Gameguy56 (Gameguy56) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 06:35 pm: Edit

IANA (I am not asian)

But here is the reaction of an asian parent to their son/daughter being accepted to this school These kinds of phrases are usually uttered by FOBs with APC(asian parent complex) which makes them overly obsessd with sending their progeny to The top tier Ivys. So without further to do...

HYPSM: You have honored this family well

Penn: You have disgraced the family going to penn state

Brown: What is this brown, no school can be good if named after a color

Columbia: You are not going outside the country for you education

Georgetown: You got accepted to a city?

U of Chicago: I will not let my child attend a public university

Northwestern: What?, you got accepted to a direction, what a disgrace to the family honor

AW or S: who has ever heard of (Amherst/Williams/Swarthmore) back home, you better start learning to wash dishes

Carnegie-Mellon: What kind of fruit is that?

Vanderbilt: Who-built? I don't know anything Vander did do be famous.

WUSTL: Where is St. Louis is it even part of the united states? Who is this "washington"

Rice: I will not let my child attend a cuilinary school, you will be a honorable scientist, not a chef

Wake Forest: What can you learn from a forest, I want my child to go to a university

Reed:They are sending us acceptance letters becasue you are such a disgrace that they think you need to learn how to READ

Colgate: Toothbrush making school is not a place I will send MY child

And I'm sure there's plenty more

By L0serchild99 (L0serchild99) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 06:38 pm: Edit

Me: Guess what. I got a 94 on my calc test
Mom: What did [insert friend's name] get?
Me:...(do i have to remind you that i'm currently failing calc?)

Ugh. But she's loosened up. . . i guess.
Now, it's:

Mom: Don't worry. I believe you will get into UCLA and USC
Me: ... (ok, just make me feel even worse when i don't)

By Ndbisme5 (Ndbisme5) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 06:39 pm: Edit

That has hilarious gameguy!

By Chnkh8er (Chnkh8er) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 09:33 pm: Edit

heres another asian sentiment:

Me: "Mom, I'm too sick to go to school. I think I have a fever. "

*Mom checks temperature*
Mom: "102 degrees"

*Dad comes in for reinforcement*
Dad: " 102! thats only 4 degrees above body temperature. Come on, Can you tell the difference between 76 and 72 degreees? That's nothing. GO TO SCHOOL!"

By Chardonnay (Chardonnay) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 09:50 pm: Edit

is that why you hate we "chnks"?

By Congresssenator (Congresssenator) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 10:23 pm: Edit

"Robert get fullride to Harvard! You're useless."

"Uh, dad. Ivies do not give merit aid. If I make it, they give according to need"

"Tell them you need full scholarship! Robert, Jennifer, Chong, Jin-- they all get full ride!"

"Ok, whatever..."

"DON"T TALK BACK TO ME."

By Danieldadon (Danieldadon) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 10:34 pm: Edit

why is it that every asian guy gets told by their parents that at least one of the kid's parents graduated 1st in their class in the university in taiwan??????? I know like four guys who all say the same?????????? perry????vamsidhar chavakula???? evan sherman????? garrett green???

By Chnkh8er (Chnkh8er) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 11:30 pm: Edit

danieldadon, ur right. My parents have never claimed to be #1 at any college. But some--no a lot of asian firends have all claimed that at least one of their parents was a valedictorian at the #1 college in Taiwan. But, nobody ever names the college. And since Taiwan is so small, i don't think there are that many colleges. And the parents have graduated in the same years, which makes me wonder how their can be multiple valedictorians. Also these parents don't know each other from Taiwan. Wnhat gives? Any Taiwanese care to enlighten us

By Lifegetsbetter (Lifegetsbetter) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 11:35 pm: Edit

me: mom i got into UCLA!

mom: what? How did U get in?

By Lovetheriver (Lovetheriver) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 11:39 pm: Edit

all right all right
you bunch of INGRATES.
don't forget who gave birth to you.
don't forget who fed you.
don't forget who gave you shelter.
don't forget who gave your clothes.
now you have to insult them for making a few demands out of the life they've given you? come on now. I mean, sure it could be stressful and annoying, but they have the right to expect things from you. you might not always fulfill the expectations, but they nonetheless have the right to expect.

By Bub (Bub) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 11:49 pm: Edit

So they do. What was your point again?

By Lovetheriver (Lovetheriver) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 11:51 pm: Edit

i dunno
i have no point
Edited.Flames are not allowed. Keep it up, and you'll be banned.
Moderator
other than that, disregard everything i've said.

By Bub (Bub) on Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 11:56 pm: Edit

Alrighty then.

By Chardonnay (Chardonnay) on Friday, March 19, 2004 - 12:16 am: Edit

god, just got a healthy dose of that asian parent "motivation". they don't know crap and they're trying to tell me what to do, i can't wait until i get away from them!!!! i could post quotes later on (many many interesting ones), but now i'm steamed and venting.

By Aznstyle (Aznstyle) on Friday, March 19, 2004 - 05:37 pm: Edit

Chnkh8er, u better watch out.

lose ur name.

or ELSE.

By Chnkh8er (Chnkh8er) on Friday, March 19, 2004 - 08:08 pm: Edit

Banned
Moderator

By Sleepdeprived (Sleepdeprived) on Friday, March 19, 2004 - 08:12 pm: Edit

Uh, Chnkh8er, does your name say what it looks like it says? If it does, that is totally not cool, even if u are asian and kidding.

By Amylase (Amylase) on Friday, March 19, 2004 - 08:56 pm: Edit

.

By Frozentears801 (Frozentears801) on Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 01:59 am: Edit

You know, I've heard that a lot of people with really strict parents who force them to do tons of work go to a top university and fail the first semester there from the sudden lack of parental pressure.

By Chen (Chen) on Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 11:36 am: Edit

Eh, I hope the reverse will happen to me. I'm mediocre and hope to escape to college ASAP so I can ace classes and not have to show them that I am working anymore.

My father, as well, graduated at the top (or one of the top 3) in his HS in Taiwan and then subsequently went to one of the top Taiwan colleges.

Asian parents seem to have a remarkable capacity for lying and memory for our friends's SAT scores but none for childhood memories (their's or ours!)!

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Sunday, March 21, 2004 - 02:18 pm: Edit

=), haha...I dont think that's gonna happen to me because I want to show my parents that I can get good grades without they push me everyday.

By Fhmamii (Fhmamii) on Sunday, March 21, 2004 - 03:52 pm: Edit

My parents do the same exact thing. I'm constantly being told that my dad graduated #1 from his HS, then proceeded to go to the #1 university in Taiwan where they paid him to go and then graduated at the top of his class...hmm...

By Chen (Chen) on Sunday, March 21, 2004 - 04:28 pm: Edit

didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?didyoudoyourhomework?

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 01:18 pm: Edit

lol. my mom ask me that ALL the time....

When I got rejected from one of my colleges, sha said:" I told you so. You deserved it." And then she laughed. And then she became really mean and started to stare at me and started yelling.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 02:02 pm: Edit

Shucks, while driving my D from school to ballet, I always ask, "What's the homework situation?" It can affect the speed of dinner and taking other things off her shoulders or otherwise making it easier for her to get it done. The actual *doing* of the homework is up to her but I don't worry because she almost always does it well, except for the b.s. assignments in Gov which are tedious busywork.

So, the question is...am I enough of a nag to be Asian?

By Asuperdude1 (Asuperdude1) on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 02:06 am: Edit

Wow, hehe, my parents can care less about grades and testing and such. Their immigrants from Mexico and have no clue as to how the American educational system works. SAT? GPA? Liberal Arts? Its all Greek to them. I told them I was thinking about going to a liberal arts school, they said that they didnt know I like to paint. I told them that I was accepted at Swarthmore, no clue as to what that meant, but UCLA, well, that might as well be Harvard. This being because they've seen UCLA basketball games on TV and people in Mexico call the team OOOCLA not U C L A but rather one big mesh called oocla. I kind of wish my parents knew what the hell was happening. Its kind of entertaining actually, to explain everything to them. But to sum things up, they don't care about things because they don't know too much about those things and because they figure we can handle school on our own.

By Piquant77 (Piquant77) on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 09:16 am: Edit

Today my mom called Tufts University "that dou fu university". Yes...Tofu University. I wish I were kidding.

By Superbighead (Superbighead) on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 09:35 am: Edit

interesting

By Cheers (Cheers) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 12:00 am: Edit

Someone should organize this group to band together and publish this thread. Seriously entertaining.

By Enjoyingthis (Enjoyingthis) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 12:28 am: Edit

This thread fascinates me, as a white mom with an interest in Asian culture. We had Asians working on our farm for a few years and thought the world of them. They valued education and hard work so much! They weren't farm workers for long because of course they found more lucrative things to do. These were refugees from the Vietnam War. Now all the kids have gone through college and are quite successful. I imagine the kids felt pressured, but in the end they all seem to be coming out winners so I can't be completely down on this valuing of education and hard work.

My oldest son, who played with these kids on the farm, grew up to be interested in all things Asian, majored in Chinese and now lives in Hong Kong. He sometimes tutors kids in English. One of his frustrations is the terrible pressure the Chinese parents put on the kids to excell in English and in every aspect of their educations. So, I know you kids aren't making this up!

Personally it's probably rough to take, but have you noticed that more and more, Asians have power and prestige in this country? Am I allowed to notice that and say that? I say, more power to you, you deserve it.

Hang in there, guys. Those funny, cranky moms love you a lot! My theory is that kids can't possibly realize just how much until they have kids of their own.

By Strwbryz (Strwbryz) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 01:49 am: Edit

Truth behold.

But hey, despite all the nagging/complaining about anything less than perfect, let's be thankful our parents actually place such a strong emphasis on our education.

Anyway, this thread is quite hilarious. So true, so true.

By Mochika88 (Mochika88) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 02:06 am: Edit

they love us and push us to perfection this thread is almost all false, only some chinese parents would do this, korean parents have MUCH more respect for their children, as do pakistani and indian parents

By Congresssenator (Congresssenator) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 02:29 am: Edit

"they love us and push us to perfection this thread is almost all false...korean parents have MUCH more respect for their children, as do pakistani and indian parents."

This statement is also false.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:13 am: Edit

"they love us and push us to perfection this thread is almost all false, only some chinese parents would do this, korean parents have MUCH more respect for their children, as do pakistani and indian parents"

LOL...yeah right, from what I heard, Korean parents push even harder.....=D

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:19 am: Edit

oh, and one more announcement.

To Thedad:

Congratulations. Yes, You Are Now Officially Asian. Welcome To The Asian Community.

(consider it to be a honor.)

By Fishbone (Fishbone) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 10:54 am: Edit

im from pakistan and from a family that stresses greatly on education. i dont believe that the parents do not respect their children this way. they may nag and scold etc. etc. but even if you end up failing or something, they're not gonna throw you out of the house or something. theyll still love us AND respect us...i believe our parents just want us to excel.

btw asian parent quote: "all you need to do for the next two months is stop going out with friends, stop watching tv, going on the net, stop videogames, hand in your cell phone and then you'll get good grades"

By Chunsah (Chunsah) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 12:43 pm: Edit

dude.. on the west coast... my stupid asian mom and dad think the world of berkeley because of its international rep and value it more than cornell/brown/columbia/dartmouth!!!
idiots i tell u, idiots

but i love them

By Thedad (Thedad) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 01:13 pm: Edit

Sharshar: shih-shih ni.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 01:38 pm: Edit

Thedad: awwww~~~that was cute

By Strwbryz (Strwbryz) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 02:23 pm: Edit

Nah, Korean parents are THE WORST

says the daughter of Korean nationals.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 02:23 pm: Edit

do you speak chinese?

By Hannah86 (Hannah86) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 06:08 pm: Edit

there were too many can't remember them all! lol
but my mom came to america when she was in middle school so she's more understanding i think

By Sally (Sally) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 07:47 pm: Edit

hey, Hannah, do u have a xanga site? i think i've seen ur site when i was randomly checking out the blogs....hmm...i'm not sure. =) 'nwayz...^^

By Thedad (Thedad) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 08:58 pm: Edit

Sharshar: bu hao.

I once with a bridge team at a Chinese restaurant and I ordered in Mandarin. The waitress looked at me kinda funny, looked at the menu, and said, "You mean number 17?" I was totally deflated in front of my teammates.

I once worked with a fair number of Chinese. They gave me a Chinese name and everything and taught me how to write it, too, even doing the strokes in the right order. Funniest thing about working there was listening to the high-speed mix of Chinese and English: @#$ &^% !@ registration form *& ^^!
financial aid office @@$ *& ^%% parking sticker.

By Wutdeh (Wutdeh) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:04 pm: Edit

me: yeah yeah yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got into University of Chicago!!

Dad: thats good...etc etc... but it's not as good as Cornell, where Peter is going (my brother). University of Chicago isn't even ranked as high as it is.

me: (I find the US news and world report and show it to him) HAH. University of Chicago is ranked #13, Cornell is ranked #14.

Dad: Rankings are overrated. Its the state schools that are part of Cornell that are lowering Cornell's statistics.

me: whatever dad.

My parents so_underestimate_me.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:29 pm: Edit

Thedad:
Well, I think your chinese is great. What's your chinese name?

By Tonny (Tonny) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:30 pm: Edit

Ma Ho Kiet = my cantonese name

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:37 pm: Edit

Ho Kiet, is your Hou Jie in Mandarin? =)

My chinese name is Sha Sha, lol, kinda like my sn.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 10:10 pm: Edit

okey, today i was accepted by one of my top colleges. And this time my mom said:"REALLY?
You are lucky. It's our family's luck that got you in." lol...I luv my mom.
My Dad: (first word) How much is it?

By Fiza (Fiza) on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 11:17 pm: Edit

I'm Bengali (see: Southeast Asian)

I just came back from work. I'll add more when I'm not so tired:


Dad:"Whats this C doing on your report card??" [ignoring the other grades]

Me: "Its a C+ and with weights its just like a B"

Dad: "A C!!!! You're a failure. I came to this country and I work so hard and here you are getting Cs"

Me: ...

Dad: Get a tutor!!!!

Me: I HAVE a tutor... (sob sob).

~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*
Dad: You didnt apply to enough schools....

Me: I applied to 6 Ivys [that i did NOT want to] and a total of like 17 schools [thanks, dad]...

Dad: Apply to atleast 30.

Me: Thats too much money. Plus then I have to write 40 essays. I already have to write 20 different essays... and fill out a million forms

Dad: You're a slacker. If you started earlier than you wouldve gotten done with all of them.

*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~

Oh and my parents are STILL *heart-attack-inducingly-upset* that I'm not going to major in engineering and that my fear of needles is going to keep me from being a doctor.

Mom: Lawyer???? You want to be a lawyer???!!! You couldnt do something honorable like engineering? You must waste all the hard work we did and try to become a lawyer.

Is it because you are not smart enough???

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 12:30 am: Edit

The 100th Post!

By Hobbes344 (Hobbes344) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 12:50 am: Edit

Tsk tsk, 101 now. Conversation that happened today.

Korean Dad: "Okay, I'm not going to support you if you go to average school. If you don't get into top schools, you go to UC Berkeley."

Me: What's an average school? What colleges will you support me in?

Dad: Average is Columbia, Carnegie Mellon, UPenn, *proceeds to list off the "lesser" Ivies"

Me: Okay, so then what will we support me in?

Dad: Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, MIT, Caltech. That's it!

Me: I'm joining the army then.

Dad: Stares blankly, steam shoots from his ears, and leaves. Haven't talked for about 6 hours now.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 01:50 am: Edit

SharShar: they put their heads together and came up with Bai Liu (Lu?) Jen...or however I transliterate it.
"Shower of Pure (White? [Bai]) Discipline" or something like that.

They were coming with phoenemes that were kinda matching my Anglo name to at least a third-cousin degree of relationship. LOL! I can post that here because I don't think anyone will work out my Anglo name from it.

Had bai fan tonight. But it was with Japanese food.

I'm going to start taking classes when my D goes off to college. Chinese is one of the possiblities, along with Latin, Drawing, Bagpipes, Video Editing, and Acting.

By Excoder (Excoder) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:15 am: Edit

THIS IS STEROTYPING ASIANS! I KNOW CAMBODIANS AND LAOTIANS STUDENTS not doing well in school. As a matter of fact, according to stats, most drop out, compared to other Asian groups in America

By Behindthemyth (Behindthemyth) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:35 am: Edit

I love this thread! As an Asian, I am far from offended and no one should be mad. We are not stereotyping Asians, we are just poking fun at some of the commonalities our parents seem to have. We know that not all Asian parents are like this--duuh!

My dad: I will sell the house, the car and my own clothes if you get into Harvard
Me: I didn't apply
My dad: WHAT!!! APPLY RIGHT NOW BEFORE I TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER (date: March 20th)

My mom: Only 1570? You better retake it. You have to beat (insert name)--they got a 1600.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:15 pm: Edit

Thedad: lol...yeah, your name does mean that. It's a good name tho. I think I'm gonna try and guess your Anglo name....is it Drew (Dew) White or Lousie Jim Bia? lol...I don't know.

ha, =) we eat Ban Fan a lot at our home too....with the typical asian dishes---my parents can't cook american food. :P

I think it's cool that you are going to college! All your course seem very interesting (I like all of them!) and I'm sure your will have a great time! btw, which college are you going to?

By Tri_N (Tri_N) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:32 pm: Edit

I have received the Asian treatment a moment ago.

Anyway, I got into Swarthmore, Davidson, Carnegie Mellon, and Trinity College (CT).

Anyway, I have been waitlisted from Northwestern.

Walking into the room.
Me: Mom, Dad. I have been waitlisted from Northwestern.
Dad: It's because you're a dumb shiet.
Mom: I'm so disappointed with you. Now, you can't stay in the state for college.
Me: Snicker... Murmuring to myself, "Like I want to stay with you people."
Me: You guys do realize that Swarthmore is much harder to get into, right?
Dad: Ugh, how do I know this? For all I know, Swarthmore is some community college in Philadelphia. Nobody even knows about these colleges. If you're dumb, don't go to college and waste our money.
Mom: If you didn't slack off, you would have gotten into Northwestern like your cousin.

Me (tossing my hands in the air and stomping out of the room)

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:38 pm: Edit

Behindthemyth: Omg, my dad said the same thing: "I will 'break the iron pot and sell the iron'(translation--a old chinese phrase meaning that one will sell everything one owns), or even 'sell my blood' if you get into Hahvard---"Ha Fu" (in chinese)..."

so, I dont know, I'm not sure I want to go to Harvard if my parents have to sell their blood. But I think they are just talking :P ---just another part of their College Talk...lol

By Wutdeh (Wutdeh) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:38 pm: Edit

ha ha ha. That is hilarious Tri N.

By R00t (R00t) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 03:55 pm: Edit

This is racist and funny at the same time. I have to go pee.

By Buratino (Buratino) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 04:04 pm: Edit

Hey Guys,
I am not asian, but Ukrainian (immigrant parents) and I get the same treatment asian parents give. Both parents went to two of the best schools in the former USSR and I'm considered a bum for goin to Tufts.

Convo with my parents:
Dad: You are a loser for going to Tufts, what am I going to say to rest of the family.
Mom: It's all your fault (my dad), you are responsible for this idiot.
Me: Tufts is a very good school, and its in boston
Dad: I'm not paying for you to have fun, you stupid moron! You will study 24hr a day and if you have some free time, you study more.
Me: Yes, Dad.
Dad: Don't you dare talk back to me, if we were back in Ukraine, I'd whoop you so hard, you wont be able to sit for a week.

I went through this since 2nd grade, everytime I got anything less than an A.

Gotta love immigrant parents!

Vlad

By Alina (Alina) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 04:36 pm: Edit

i have strict ukrainian parents too! I skipped two grades and just turned sixteen as a senior and my parents still aren't proud. They won't even be happy if I only make Hopkins and Cornell...and after i got a 1520 on my SATs and i told them ( in a very happy mood) they replied with "that's all??". Regardless of what I do they both graduated with the red diploma and they had all 4s. lol my 97.5 average is just another sign of how i will be a loser in life. Immigrant parents really are tough.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 07:15 pm: Edit

Of more than 2 million students taking the SAT, only about 11,000 get a 1510 or better. You couldn't even fill the Ivy League colleges (without Cornell!) with those stats.

What many Asian parents seem not to understand about admissions to the elite colleges in the U.S. is THAT IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT STATS. If told that, they don't believe it, because that's the way it is back home.

They don't get EC's, life experience, etc. The best thing an individual Asian student could do to bolster their chances is to be more of an individual...bring more than high GPA/scores to the table and just do typical "Asian" EC's, e.g., play violin, either.

By Mmmmcereal (Mmmmcereal) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 09:06 pm: Edit

bump

By Stupid_Guy (Stupid_Guy) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 10:09 pm: Edit

To most of the asians out there (with an emphasis on chinese): when your immigrant parents came to america, they probably

1. didn't receive affirmative action
2. didn't get the fafsa
3. are treated like scum
4. worked to death in a restaurant or hard labor to pay for tuitions.

So who's to blame for their imprinted attitudes that we hate so much?

The american immigration / educational system? or your parents?

By Compewter (Compewter) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 10:29 pm: Edit

This is just sad. Most here aren't learning for themselves and their self interest. Mommy and Daddy just have little whips. I hope you people will snap out of your chains someday.

By Fiza (Fiza) on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 10:42 pm: Edit

Well I'm pissed cause even though my parents are immigrants:

a) my mom in her country let her friend do her hw while she was in highschool. Didnt study and got "Ds" on tests.

b) my dad went to a crap American college thats prolly in the top *1000 colleges* lmao. Partied. a LOT. did a lot of stupid stuff. Didnt take math past Algebra or something...yet its not cool that im "ONLY" taking one math this year (Calculus). "But you took TWO maths last year...)

So basically, I dont know why my grades arent good enough when they never got those grades or even took the same level classes as me. It just seems unfair. Plus, they dont know how competitive college admissions is these days. They think everyone "decent" can get into Harvard.

By Thedad (Thedad) on Sunday, March 28, 2004 - 02:10 am: Edit

For parents who think anyone "decent" can get into Harvard, show them the profiles of *rejected* students. Go into the CC archives and find the posts from last April. Depressing but also liberating...the truth shall set you free.

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Sunday, March 28, 2004 - 02:57 pm: Edit

For people who thought that we were disrespecting our parents, We're sorry, we were NOT trying to do that. In fact, wo LOVE them! It's just a sharing of some funny common things that Asian parents tend to say. (And it felt so good to find that I'm not alone on this kind of situation! )We love them EVEN THOUGH they said those things to us. And even we sometimes are frustrated, I hate to say that I love my parents for that. So, please do not misunderstand. =)

By Clipse (Clipse) on Sunday, March 28, 2004 - 03:16 pm: Edit

all i can say is you ppl are madly whipped by your parents

By Babobear (Babobear) on Sunday, March 28, 2004 - 04:14 pm: Edit

after i got the letter that i was likely to get into nyu:

mom: oh my baby...let me hug you (she has not said this for say.....13 years..)

a few hours later, i walk into the living room.

mom: oh forget what i said earlier. i thot it was columbia.

me: O.o

By Patli (Patli) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 04:26 pm: Edit

.

By Jinhamasaki (Jinhamasaki) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:01 pm: Edit

Ouch Babo, that is HARSH.

Here was my convo today with Dad, in gist:

D: Aiya, you are 18 now, more independent! Don't get into bad things!
M: ...
D: Your cousin (___) go to college, drop out and work in restaurant, make no money! Live hard life! No girls or anything! That's why I always say you study harder! Or you stuck working in hard restaurant.

I hate these talks, they make me feel sooo stupid -_-, and I won't be successful in college -_-.
M: ... (I am NOT like my cousin! I don't drink or smoke or any of that crap ~.~)

By Subtrunks (Subtrunks) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:30 pm: Edit

Well my parents are Hispanic and they don't the difference from an SAT to a GED. I wish they knew a little more sometimes so I woul dhave been adivsed on were to apply but they are happy I got into Williams and Swarthmore. No difference between Miami Dade Community College and my other acceptances but what can I do. Its all good.

My Korean friend is the anti asian. His parents wanted him to stay home and work at the dojo and if it meant going to the local state u then fine! He is considering disowning his family and doing his studies out of state.

By Chardonnay (Chardonnay) on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 08:09 pm: Edit

mom: caltech accepted you
proceeds to hand me a torn envelope
me: please stop opening my mail, please!!!!
mom: i'm your mom! i own you! this is my letter! you don't appreciate anything, why isn't this from stanford? who knows of caltech? blah blah blah on and on for about fifteen minutes.
took the joy right out of that i'll tell ya. my daddy was happy though ...

By Charmedxgal408 (Charmedxgal408) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 12:28 am: Edit

wow reading about all the strict azn parents makes me so glad mine aren't! i think i should be nicer to them now cuz they get over it and tell me to do better next time.

of course they now know i'm sucha slacker and party-er. going out non stop, drinking, not coming home, etc. but before in junior high they were like "omg you have a B? that's like for BAD! you're doing badly!" "you're gonna smell working at mcdonalds..then you're going to break out and get fat!!" <--my mom said that

but this is what happened with my dad..

me: *runs out of room* OMG OMG!! i got into UCSB!! omgggg now i don't hafta go to santa cruz or riverside!! yayyy no more riverside!
dad: ............. *stares at me funny* *look of shock* are you sure you got in?? did you read it wrong or something???

that is so sad! and he was the one who at the end near the app deadline was like "honeyy.. maybe you should apply to riverside?? just in case santa cruz doesn't want you.."

but i got into the 4/5 UCs i applied to so hah! irvine, sb, sc, riverside..rejected from davis

SAT: 1260
SATII's: high 500's low 600's
gpa: 3.17 UW 3.3 W

yes i got lucky! prolly cuz i come from cupertino in the silicon valley and cupertino school district is considered prestigious in the high school category.

By Nurang8 (Nurang8) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 12:30 am: Edit

From the perspective of a Caucasian college student, I think these "strict Asian parents" might have the right idea. It seems like they want their children to live up to their full potential as students, and they are very aware of what the top schools demand in the way of academics and extracurriculars. I scored above 1500 on my SATs, but I saw many of my friends get accepted to UCLA and Berkeley and other top schools with scores 200 - 300 points below my own. I was rejected from every school I applied to except my backup. So, I learned the hard way that extracurricular activities do matter, preparation should start early, and an A- is NOT the same as an A.

Whatever your parents intentions are, you will go farther if somebody (you OR them) is pushing you towards your full potential.

By Pmyen (Pmyen) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 08:29 pm: Edit

I am a second-generation Asian American who is probably the same age as many of your parents. I certainly empathize with many of you high school students as I underwent some of the issues that you all faced. Fortunately, I had very loving parents who supported me, even though they had high expectations for my brother and me. These expectations were cultural and implicit (in my case), and they were probably unware they had placed extra pressure upon me when I was growing up. Fortunately, I was never disabused for my achievements (or failings) as described by some of you on this board. However, I was expected to be do my best, which by their definition, was to be the best. I was forunate enough to go to a top tier college. However, it was in college, rather than at home, that I truly learned the joy and importance of learning for its own sake, and recognized that high achievement was a byproduct (if it comes)of doing what one is passionate about. Achievement per se was not a stepping stone or badge of honor. Without generalizing too much, I believe Asians take a lot of their identity from their families and family relationships, while minimizing the place of the individual. Hence, parents live through their children's achievements, and children live by their parents expectations.

My son, who is a school senior, is a very good student, but not a top one. I accept his strengths and weaknesses. He may not perform at the very top in a standardized test (which I believe it is a very narrow gauge of high school performance) but that does not diminish his unique abilities. Certainly, it does not diminish my love and respect for him.
Having said that, and while trying hard to emphasize his character development as well as other areas of his life, I also expect him to do his best in school and life. However, "best" is not necessarily based on some artificial or arbitrary standard. Rather, I hope, that definition will come from himself. Living a full and meaningful life cannot be programmed or prescribed. It has to be learned and experienced.

By Madameinsanity (Madameinsanity) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 08:47 pm: Edit

"So you got into Brown. What's the big deal? You can always go to Brown later (ie: after med school..). " --Azn padre

Actually, I'm damn lucky when it comes to having Asian parents. They convinced me NOT to take the ACT a third time; they said a 1500 was good enough...

By Daggerlee (Daggerlee) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 08:50 pm: Edit

Excoder - To be fair, Cambodia had nearly an entire generation of people wiped out by the Khmer Rouge. Much of this emphasis on education was cultural, and when you wipe out nearly an entire generation of people not much culture is going to be transmitted to the current generation.

As for my own experiences:

Mom: "Dartmouth? What's that?"

Mom: "Yale? Is Yale REALLY as good as Harvard?"

*proceeds to call 3 friends in China and asks them about Yale*

Mom: Well, they've heard of it.

Me: Mom, Harvard and Yale are like Beijing U and Xinghua in China, or Oxford and Cambridge in the UK.

Mom: "OHH! Why didn't you tell me in the first place!! Congratulations! But you're still going to send in your Harvard waitlist card."

By Kcx87 (Kcx87) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 10:33 pm: Edit

after a rough week of school...

status:

saturday morning.

6.30 AM.

Mom: GET UP ! GET UP!!! YOU NEED TO STUDY!!! GET UP!!! ......

(continues for 10 minutes)

Me: Let me sleeeeeeep............. tired.... *mumbles anger

Mom: FINE. BE LAZY COW. (mumbling) ha... Northwestern, .... probably NorthEASTERN....

DOOR SLAM.

By Archermom (Archermom) on Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 11:58 pm: Edit

Pmyen,
Ditto. We, too, are 1st generation Chinese born in the United States...and, as 1st born to immigrant parents, completely understand the stories relayed here--although our personal experiences have not been THAT extreme!!! (smile)

And, like you, we chose a different path for our daughters. As you are aware, being a girl brings up other issues... Despite "rumblings" from family, we stayed the course and our oldest will more than likely be heading to a small liberal arts college back east. (Yes, Grandpa & Grandma, she will be over 2,000 miles away!)

I'm glad to hear that there are other Asian parents that are breaking the mold to support and advocate for their children. Good luck to you and your son!

By Alv (Alv) on Sunday, April 04, 2004 - 12:23 pm: Edit

What do you mean youuuu didnent get a 1600?

By Fdsa (Fdsa) on Sunday, April 04, 2004 - 12:57 pm: Edit

thats craazy.. i mean i know it happens but still crazy.

im asian too and i hang out with all my asian buddies but most of the people i know bring the pressure on themselves..

my parents want me to get good grades and study hard at my competitive high school. but they wont die if i dont.

they also really really want me to go to my (safety) state school because they think its "good enough" even though id like to think i could do slightly better after working so freakin hard in school..

but whatever its cool.

By Devilatheart (Devilatheart) on Sunday, April 04, 2004 - 01:05 pm: Edit

" ya, nuh joo gul leh?"

"nuh hah vud ahn ga myun, joo gil kuh ya. "

exact words. in its original language.

needless to say i didn't even apply there and now i don't get fed

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Sunday, April 04, 2004 - 05:10 pm: Edit

Devilatheart---what did ur parents say?....(translate it in english)

By Dwerbowy (Dwerbowy) on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 - 06:53 pm: Edit

stupid guy, although what you said is true about about chinese immigrants, i know for a fact that almost all chinese parents ANYWHERE is like that. i moved here when i was 8 and even in 1st grade in china,my parents were like slave drivers.and my dad grew up in china and his mom threw a pot at his head if he ever came home with a grade below 95. my mom had similar expriences. so yea, i think alot of parents act this way because their own paretns were this way as well as the fact that they want the best for this kids although sometimes it goes way overboard.

By Pmyen (Pmyen) on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 08:43 am: Edit

As a second generation Asian-American parent, I can empathize with you all. Next time when your parents give you trouble, ask them whether they would have been accepted at Harvard or ....... University when they were in high school or if they were a student now? I doubt it for almost all of them. Although they may have had a lot of pressure placed upon them when they were back in the old country, they need to have a realistic view of the American college admissions process and how difficult it is to obtain admission to the most selective schools. Also, let them know it's not just about scores and grades but who you are as a total applicant.

Send them my way if you want them to hear from a parent who has gone through the process for himself and a son, and has other children about to apply. Would be happy to help them see things straight. I think you all have done a terrific job and should be congratulated rather than made to feel as if you somehow failed them. Every ethnic group has different status symbols;for Asians, education and where you obtain it carries great weight and often causes needless and excessive stress for their children (and probably parents themselves).

By Pmyen (Pmyen) on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 08:45 am: Edit

As a second generation Asian-American parent, I can empathize with you all. Next time when your parents give you trouble, ask them whether they would have been accepted at Harvard or ....... University when they were in high school or if they were a student now? I doubt it for almost all of them. Although they may have had a lot of pressure placed upon them when they were back in the old country, they need to have a realistic view of the American college admissions process and how difficult it is to obtain admission to the most selective schools. Also, let them know it's not just about scores and grades but who you are as a total applicant.

Send them my way if you want them to hear from a parent who has gone through the process for himself and a son, and has other children about to apply. Would be happy to help them see things straight. I think you all have done a terrific job and should be congratulated rather than made to feel as if you somehow failed them. Every ethnic group has different status symbols;for Asians, education and where you obtain it carries great weight and often causes needless and excessive stress for their children (and probably parents themselves).

By Pmyen (Pmyen) on Wednesday, April 07, 2004 - 08:45 am: Edit

As a second generation Asian-American parent, I can empathize with you all. Next time when your parents give you trouble, ask them whether they would have been accepted at Harvard or ....... University when they were in high school or if they were a student now? I doubt it for almost all of them. Although they may have had a lot of pressure placed upon them when they were back in the old country, they need to have a realistic view of the American college admissions process and how difficult it is to obtain admission to the most selective schools. Also, let them know it's not just about scores and grades but who you are as a total applicant.

Send them my way if you want them to hear from a parent who has gone through the process for himself and a son, and has other children about to apply. Would be happy to help them see things straight. I think you all have done a terrific job and should be congratulated rather than made to feel as if you somehow failed them. Every ethnic group has different status symbols;for Asians, education and where you obtain it carries great weight and often causes needless and excessive stress for their children (and probably parents themselves).

By Supafly003 (Supafly003) on Thursday, April 08, 2004 - 01:08 am: Edit

This post is HILARIOUS! I'm actually far from offended. My parents have said many of the things above. I dont think its all that bad either.. I find their 'encouragement' sometimes more amusing than pressuring.

By Smiliekat (Smiliekat) on Thursday, April 08, 2004 - 01:54 am: Edit

a couple of years back...(all convo in chinese)
me: i think i want to be a doctor.
mom: a girl being a doctor? i don't think that would be good for a girl. guys can do it, but not girls...too tiring.
me: o....k..... whats the difference....
mom: you stay in med school for too long and you'll be exhausted! (name) is doing double e. it's popular and it's good.
------------------------
a year ago...after i got interested in business
me: what about business?
mom: ok. business is good.
(later)
mom: wait. business? no. not business. too unstable.
------------------------
after reconsidering my options and after getting much advice that business can be done after i get a major in something more solid...
me: i think i'll double major...like engineering and business...or just engineering.
mom: a girl engineer?
me: ya...i know a lot of GIRLS who are engineer. it's not like girls are less capable than guys. i can do it.
mom: no no! do med! med is good for girls. more stable!

By Nmoreno1 (Nmoreno1) on Thursday, April 08, 2004 - 03:07 am: Edit

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Thursday, April 08, 2004 - 04:18 pm: Edit

Hey have you guys ever read THE JOY LUCK CLUB? (by Amy Tan) lol, there are a lot of the TYPICAL Asian stuff, and some of the FASINATING eastern philosophy and LOTS of HILARIOUS "Asian Quotes" in it. I LUV that book! It's prolly my fav. You guys should definitely read it if you haven't! It makes you feel you are not the only ones.

By Haithman (Haithman) on Thursday, April 08, 2004 - 05:40 pm: Edit

Yup I've read that one. Good book.

By Alpaca29 (Alpaca29) on Thursday, April 08, 2004 - 07:29 pm: Edit

Okay, my Asian parent quote isn't really about HYPSM or anything, but it's still funny.

My mom asked where I applied to college, so I listed them all.

She asks, "Boston College?"
I answer, "Yeah, Boston College."
She says, "In Texas??"
I look at at my brother with the face I make when my mom says something that does not make any sense at all and snicker.
"There's no Boston in Texas."
My mom defends herself, "Yes! Boston, Texas!"
I think for a little and realize she's talking about Houston.

And noo it's not Austin because she's never heard of that city .

By Sharshar (Sharshar) on Monday, April 12, 2004 - 12:00 am: Edit

*background*--I'm still not sure about which major I should study in college. My mom wants/forces me to study pre-med.

Today when riding in the car with my mom, I randomly said happily (in chinese) "Oh yeah, fashion design is a good major too...I will be good at it, and maybe I will be a famous designer one day..."

Mom: (doesn't responded for several seconds, and rolled her eyes) "I will look down on you." --her actual words. In English too. which is weird because she always speaks Chinese with me. hmmm...???

lol

By Ppangan (Ppangan) on Monday, April 12, 2004 - 12:30 am: Edit

"Don't rest on your laurels!"

By Chatterjoy87 (Chatterjoy87) on Monday, April 12, 2004 - 08:15 am: Edit

My parents used to be worse when I was little, bringing in stories from China when I acted up at school, or got lower than a 100% (this was elementary school...)
"In China, they didn't give "Time Outs", they kicked you out of school"
"I remember in 3rd grade I received a 97% on a paper and your grandfather didn't let me eat lunch or dinner"

There's always the pressure of being Asian, and they can always find somebody or something to compare to try to push you farther.

I have immense respect for my parents, having to labor in the countryside under Mao and being among the first to get out of the country after his death through their scholarship, but it's hard to remember all this while they're both standing over me, glaring and yelling.

Just a query to all the Asian kids: what kind of parents do you think you will be? It's always different for the second generation immigrants, how far will you try to push your kids?

By Tenniscraze (Tenniscraze) on Monday, April 12, 2004 - 10:18 am: Edit

this is really ridiculous but my mum thinks what all whites are dumb in math and she therefore thinks studying math in the US is a bad decision...

By Tenniscraze (Tenniscraze) on Monday, April 12, 2004 - 10:56 am: Edit

*sister just graduated from Indiana U.*

me: mum, i think sis needs further education

mum: why? she has already graduated what more do you want

me: well she needs to take the MBA so she can find a job easier

mum: no, she's a girl, if she gets married she will have to find a guy who graduates from MBA too, so it's harder!

me: *rollseyes* you are so traditional

mum: whatever

By L0serchild99 (L0serchild99) on Monday, April 12, 2004 - 07:18 pm: Edit

yeah, my mom compares 'math skills' of students in America, to taiwan/china/japan...and to her own schooling

"I learned algebra in elementary school"

maybe i'm exaggerating. maybe not. i can't remember what she said exactly, but it's something ridiculous like that.

"in japan, kids learn calculus in middle school" lol

By Chris_Tan (Chris_Tan) on Tuesday, April 13, 2004 - 06:59 am: Edit

I just stumbled on this thread, and I must say, it's absolutely hilarious, and sad.

I moved to Malaysia from Canada when I was 11, and one of the first things I noticed is the difference in the education system. In Canada, up to 5th grade, we had play time, snack time, field trip time. Class was FUN. No tests were allowed. In Malaysia, I got the first shock of my life when I entered 5th grade. Students here are tested and are prepared for national exams from first grade onwards. Kids carry backpacks stuffed with books, those bags sometimes weighing half their body weight. They are pushed to excel in exams from the very beginning. There's no emphasis on enjoying education, that education should be an enriching experience. They are trying to change things here, but the fact is, excellence in academics, especially exams, is over-emphasized. I think most Asian countries have this kind of education system. So, Asian parents, those who migrate to the US and Canada, who were brought up in such a pressured environment, and who were taught from young that academics are super-important, naturally do try to push their kids the same way.

My friend who was born in China but grew up in the US went to WUSTL although her parents wanted her to go to Cornell, the reason being that Cornell is an Ivy. When I wanted to apply to US schools, I told my parents I was interested in WUSTL, Grinnell, and some small liberal art colleges like Williams, Smith, Amherst. My parents told me they knew that those were academically excellent schools, but I should remember that outside of the US, it's HPYS that are recognized. My college counsellor said "What is this Grinnell, never heard of it." It's so sad that this is true. In Malaysia, to be competitive on the job market, going to the US for college is only impressive if it's the big names - HYPS, MIT. Sad, but true. For UK, prestige is in the names Oxford, Cambridge, or LSE. So parents here push and push and push, and from the looks of it, it's the same situation in the US.

For me, I'm lucky my parents have stopped putting pressure on me. They would of course be happy if I had applied and gotten into HPY or Oxbridge, but I didn't, and they're fine with it now. I sympathize with those of you whose parents still have that 'old Asian mindset', but it's easier to deal with if you understand the upbringing they had. At least they care enough to nag and take an interest, even if their 'interest' may seem selfish.

By Hhboyji (Hhboyji) on Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 11:33 am: Edit

"Study like you're about to die"

"What Cornell!! You'll get rejected from George Mason" >>After my dad saw my B+

By Patli (Patli) on Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 08:18 pm: Edit

bump

By Prisc (Prisc) on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 03:38 pm: Edit

A little racist are we???