Are you dumb if you are...





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Discus: College Admissions: February 2004 Archive: Are you dumb if you are...
By Screwed4life (Screwed4life) on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 06:58 pm: Edit

deferred

Sorry just had to ask that. I used to think i was fairly smart and was proud of myself. Now i think i am just a dumb, stupid girl who wastes her time. Gosh i let my mom down. Today, She was like so in so got in and just looked at me like what the heck kind of daughter did i raise-- She can't even get any scholarships or even into a good school. I wish i was a freshman in high school again. I would do so many things over.

By Chrisy (Chrisy) on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 07:13 pm: Edit

shut up and stop feeling sorry for yourself!!! you're brilliant. start over in college, there's always beginnings. good luck.

By Meow (Meow) on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 09:16 pm: Edit

Once you're in college no one will ever care again what accomplishments you had in high school. People will make fun of you if you talk about your HS accomplishments and no one will care if you had none. You are at the start of a new beginning so don't wish you could do something as worthless as go back to HS freshman year!

By Foreignboy (Foreignboy) on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 09:50 pm: Edit

The question is not whether or not you are a smart and talented person, but whether or not the college that you applied to has chosen to recognize your talents.

By Candi1657 (Candi1657) on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 09:56 pm: Edit

Foreignboy,

Excellently put...

By Hill (Hill) on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 09:57 pm: Edit

no you are not dumb! Am I dumb because I was rejected? Heck no - that particular college just didn't want me. Am I crushed about it - no. I have been accepted other places just as good as the one that rejected me and you will be too.

Stop your boo-hooing and get on with life - going back to freshman year won't solve anything.

Good luck!

By Meow (Meow) on Saturday, February 07, 2004 - 12:31 am: Edit

If you don't get rejected *anywhere*, it probably means you didn't take any risks when you decided where to apply. That's not necessarily admirable.

Whenever you do something worthwhile in life, there is risk involved. Applying to school is no different.

By Krish (Krish) on Saturday, February 07, 2004 - 04:13 pm: Edit

The past is the past. Your desire to go back into your freshman year and do things differently is a desire shared by many people, including myself. But lets be realistic - the ability to travel back in time is nonexistant, for now at least.

Are you dumb? No, in fact, you are far from it.
As a human-being, you are bound to make mistakes - keep the lesson and laugh at the mistake. What I mean is, you are about to enter college. Your GPA will be a 0.0 - you get a fresh start. You say you would like to go back to your freshman year, which tells me that you know exactly what you did wrong - don't repeat the same mistakes in college. College records take precedence over high school records. For you to even be concerned about your academic well-being makes you intelligent.

What do you mean you can't get into a good school? A good school doesen't have to be an Ivy League school. For example, I attend Texas A&M University, which is arguably the best public university in Texas. If you really desire to go to a different college than you are going to now, you can work on a strong transfer application after a semester or two of HARD work.

As for scholarships, it isn't the end of the world. Sure, you wouldn't have any your 1st semester, but it doesen't have to be that way for the rest of them. Regardless of where you get your higher education, if you work hard enough to attain a high college GPA, then you can apply for scholarships intended only for currently enrolled undergraduate students - a lot of them don't require you to enter your high school records into the decision-making process.

With that said, always have a positive attitude. Under no circumstances should you ever get yourself down about this ever again. It will only be counter-productive. You know what you want, and only you can make it happen.

Good luck!

Krish Ahya

By Atpchik (Atpchik) on Saturday, February 07, 2004 - 05:21 pm: Edit

Hey I got deferred at Rice. I was upset at first thinking should I have spent more time on my essays...done an interview? But, you know what, learning to accept failure is just part of the learning process. Things that are meant to be will be.

I think the entire college apps process makes you feel powerless like someone else is deciding you future. Take charge, YOU pick the school eventually and by making yourself feel dumb it won't help you any. Don't give up now, stay confident and hopefully April will bring better news. After all do you REALLY wanna go back to freshman year??? Definitely not. The prospect of college is exciting, start fresh and EXPLORE!!!

By Eliel (Eliel) on Sunday, February 08, 2004 - 04:09 am: Edit

All TRUE!

By Momx4 (Momx4) on Sunday, February 08, 2004 - 03:21 pm: Edit

Screwed4life, it's not fair that your mother is using you to fulfill her own need for self-worth. Try not to let her insecurity get you down. Parents do this alot- they don't realize how harmful it is to their kids. It would be nice if your mother were more supportive, but she isn't, so you have to look elsewhere for support when she responds to you like that. In the end, you will learn to feel much better about yourself than your mother feels for herself. I remember an occasion about ten years ago or so when my oldest son was a contender for the National spelling bee. He had won the local and regional spelling bees and then finished 2nd on Long Island which, of course, did not qualify him to go on to the National spelling bee- only #1 went to the national level. I was so proud of my son for going that far and absolutely thrilled that he was in the Long Island championship spelling bee. My mother came with us to the competition and was very disappointed that her grandson didn't finish #1 in the Bee. She commented that now she can't tell anyone in her office that he was in the spelling bee- she was actually embarrassed that he didn't win; she wanted to tell everyone that her grandson was #1. I warned my mother not to let her feelings show to my son because he deserves praise and congratulations for getting this far, not criticism for missing that last word. I was sure he was "punishiing" himself enough for missing the word; he didn't need any more from us; what he needed was our love, support and belief in him.

the moral of my story is, you deserve praise for doing as well as you have done. I hope the story points out how ridiculous parents can come across when they let out their raw, sometimes ugly competitive emotions. It is too bad your mom doesn't realize this because she is too worried about her own needs but when you see it for what it really is- not a lacking in your performance, but a lacking in how your mom sees herself, it might be easier to accpet her misguided comment and move on.


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