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People, my essay is too long. I did not have time to correct and cut it. Therefore, just read it and make your comments. I am a student from Uzbekistan and I think I would make some impressions.

Journalism is one of the most prestigious professions in the world. Informing someone with valuable information - in concise form- is not always easy. Therefore, journalists are required to have a special degree and unique skills in writing. Although I did not have either of those requirements, I tried to become a journalist in my early years. My insatiable interest and aspirations drove me so much, that I became a professional journalist and gained respect as the youngest journalist in the history of my nation.
I was very interested in sport-journalism during my freshman year at high school. Perhaps, my huge interest in news about soccer encouraged me to become a walking encyclopedia about the world of soccer. I used to read every article about soccer in the newspapers and share my critical thoughts with friends and parents. Consequently, my analyzing skills improved with geometrical progression, and I started to find many mistakes in almost every published article about soccer.
One day, my father and I were listening to soccer news on the radio and the radio-jockey, who was reading an interesting article about my favorite soccer player, pronounced the names of a couple of athletes incorrectly. My reaction to that incident was explosive, and I started to argue about how bad journalists were. My Dad’s reaction to my arguments was ambiguous; he was silent and I could not see any expressions on his face. After few minutes he looked at me and said: “My dear son, do you think that it is not easy to be a journalist? Why do you not try to write something and then say that those journalists are not professional?” His words had a huge impact on me; I felt challenged by my father.
The short conversation with my father tremendously affected my life. From that day, I started to look for something interesting that I could write about. It did not take me long to make my design. I decided to write a descriptive article about the soccer game between the national teams of
Abdullaev 2
France and Portugal. The game was exiting, full of interesting moments, and I thought that it would not be very difficult to write about it. However, when I started to write my “easy” article, it took me more than five minutes to create even a short sentence. After spending two days of hard work, I finally finished my article. My childish mentality made me think that it was the best written article in the world.
I wanted to prove to my father that I could be a journalist. The idea of sending my article to the local newspaper came to my mind immediately after finishing it. I called to the office of the newspaper called “Football of Uzbekistan” - soccer in the Eurasian continent known as football - and introduced myself. I talked with one of the journalists, and he told me that I could send my article to their office. I was impatient and decided to take my “masterpiece” to the office by myself. Finally, I reached my destination and found that journalist whom I previously talked to. He was wondered when he saw me – a fifteen year old teenager, wearing a school uniform, maybe the same age as his son. He asked who I was and thought that I was the younger brother of that “brave journalist”. When I actually explained that I was the man whom he talked to, he surprisingly looked at me and started to read my article. While he was reading my article, I could see an ironic smile on his face.
The journalist finished reading the article and explained to me that he deeply appreciated my interest, but according to his opinion my “masterpiece” would never have been published. However, he did not want to offend me and said that the chief editor of the newspaper would be happy to talk to me – a young journalist. In few minutes, I was already near the doors of the huge cabinet of the chief editor. The editor invited me into his office and asked me to explain why I wanted to write an article. I described to him my interest in soccer, and told him that I was not satisfied with the quality of some articles in the newspapers; I think he understood me. The editor did not hide the fact that he liked me very much, and said that the best journalist of the newspaper would teach me how to write real articles. Indeed, he let me come to the office every day.
I was the happiest man in the world. Every day after school I went to the office of the newspaper. My “teacher”, one of the best journalists of Uzbekistan, taught me how to find interesting facts. I enjoyed doing various assignments and helping to publish a newspaper. But still, my writing skills were very weak. I spent sleepless nights writing different articles, but they were still unpublished. Although I was morally tired, I never gave up.
At that moment I decided to visit my grandfather, the retired chief editor of the biggest newspaper in Uzbekistan, to get his advice. I was sure that he would help me. When I explained to him my problem, his only advice was to read. Firstly, I did not understand him and discredited his excellent advice according to the proverb: “I am a writer, not a reader”. However, I actually followed his advice and soon realized that reading was one of the most important activities which could teach me how to write. I was reading more than seven books per month. Accordingly, journalists in my office were finding fewer mistakes in my articles. Moreover, my other skills such as newspaper designing, fluent knowledge of three different languages and great enthusiasm gained me respect among the journalists.
My first article was published two months from the time when I first came to the office. The article was about Pele, the best soccer player in the history, and the editor of the newspaper liked it very much. Inspired with my success I started to work more and more. I used all of my energy and knowledge to create articles. As a result I was officially hired as a journalist, and from that moment, wrote articles for every edition of the newspaper. I applied new ideas to the design of our newspaper and even helped other journalists to do their jobs. As I continued to work, one day I was called to the office of the chief editor. He was very happy with my success and in front of all the employees of the publication, he said that I was one of the best journalists in his office. Moreover, he appointed me as head of the Department of International News. I could not hide the tears in my eyes…
I was fifteen years old at the time I was officially nominated to an important job. I was happy. I proved to myself that every goal is achievable, if one will never stop. I could have given up when I had problems with my first article. But my aspirations and motivation helped me to pass the bridge which connects impossible with possible. I did prove to my father that I could be a journalist!

By Ndbisme2 (Ndbisme2) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 12:04 pm: Edit

Too long. I don't have enough time to read it bc I have three hours to write a personal statement. Just some advice: slice out the parts that do not add to your essay. Also try to combine sentences to make your essay shorter. Sorry I can't add more.

By Xdtish (Xdtish) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 12:26 pm: Edit

Journalism is one of the most prestigious professions in the world. Informing someone
with... Although I did not have either of those requirements, I tried to become a journalist in my early years."

Useless. Delete it. Don't begin you essay like this. It'll lose the reader' attention. Use something unique and different. We ALL know "journalists are required to have a special degree and unique skills in writing."

"My insatiable interest and aspirations drove me so much, that I became a professional journalist and gained respect as the youngest journalist in the history of my nation."

Modersty is a vritue. I beg you to re-word.

"Consequently, my analyzing skills improved with geometrical progression"

A bit dull. It's not personal enough. You sound like a walking dictionary.

"I started to find many mistakes in almost every published article about soccer."

I understand what you're tyring to say and it makes sense with latter sentences of how you father challenged you. But re-word it so that it shows you in a more positive light. You sound a bit ambitigous.

"His words had a huge impact on me; I felt challenged by my father.The short conversation with my father tremendously affected my life. From that day, I started to look forsomething interesting that I could write about."

Excellent line. Need Development. Focus this as your theme--how has your father's words of advice changed your outlook on journalism and helped you gained respect for journalsts.

Delete the part where you're talking about you article. It's unnesscary. Or cut it down to 3-4 sentences.

You should focus on how has your father's challenge changed you personally and helped you realized that you wanted to become a good journalist.

NOTE:
"I was fifteen years old at the time I was officially nominated to an important job."

"my other skills such as newspaper designing, fluent knowledge of three different languages and great enthusiasm gained me respect among the journalists."

"My first article was published two months from the time when I first came to the office."

"rote articles for every edition of the newspaper. I applied new ideas to the design of our newspaper
and even helped other journalists to do their jobs."

"I could have given up when I had problems with my first article. But my aspirations and motivation helped me to pass the bridge"

Colleges want intelligent, DOWN-TO-EARTH young people who are moderst and proud of their achievements. Not arrgant @sses who brag their rewards.Overall, your essay is too long. Cut it down to 600ish. 550 if you can.

Good luck

By Uzbekistan (Uzbekistan) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 12:48 pm: Edit

oh, well i have submitted it. What I can expect?

By Uzbekistan (Uzbekistan) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 01:54 pm: Edit

Will the fact that I am from Uzbekistan help me to get in?