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Hah-vahd.

I hate open topic essays. Die Common Application and Harvard Supplement. Die.

In fact this is my Caltech essay number 2, but blah. I'll just post it again.

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raised my placard, and so did many other delegates. Small countries generally don’t get much attention, but usually it’s a matter of chance. I had prepared a good and complete speech, addressing most of the points the resolution dealt with. I really hoped to get called, and fortunately, a few seconds later my delegation was called on the P.A. system. Then I stood up and approached the podium in the center of the auditorium, just before I explained to the whole assembly Chile’s position on genetically modified organisms.

However, I am not from Chile, I am Venezuelan. And that’s the essence of the Model United Nations.

I have attended the South American Model United Nations three times: as a General Assembly delegate of Congo and Chile, and as a Security Council delegate of Cameroon. Though it is only a simulation, everyone takes it very seriously. It’s a fantastic opportunity to learn about world issues and obtain valuable negotiation and debate skills.

The MUNs have given me the opportunity to inform myself about current world problems, and to form an opinion on each one of them. I have become familiar with issues such as globalization and economic integration and development, and with problems that affect a great portion of the world’s population, such as poverty, hunger, war, and human rights violations. These events have made me a more complete individual, and have expanded my critical thinking in these kinds of matters. The Model United Nations events have helped me in being closer to global citizenship.

Apart from that, SAMUN has been a fabulous opportunity to practice and improve my English, as well as obtain negotiating, debate, and rhetoric skills. I met many students from the rest of South America with the same interests and opinions as mine, and I keep in contact with these people.

One of the most interesting experiences I had in these events was being a Security Council delegate. As there were very few delegates, the discussion was more intense and fast-paced than in the General Assembly, and we dealt with “hotter” issues such as the war in Iraq, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and the situation with North Korea. The opportunity I had to become familiar with these problems was remarkable, and I was able to participate in the discussion much more actively and frequently than in the previous times I had attended the conference.

I believe the ultimate goal of a Model United Nations is fulfilled when an Israeli kid understands the point of view of a Palestinian, or when a participant from India can see through the eyes of a Pakistani. The MUNs serve as cameras for taking snapshots of the world. They are valuable tools for obtaining a better understanding of our surroundings and the issues that will shape the future of our planet.

By Tenniscassieo (Tenniscassieo) on Wednesday, December 31, 2003 - 10:23 am: Edit

thats like the 4870th model un essay on this board

By Xdtish (Xdtish) on Wednesday, December 31, 2003 - 10:53 am: Edit

"raised my placard, and so did many other delegates. Small countries generally don’t
get much attention, but usually it’s a matter of chance. I had prepared a good and complete speech, addressing most of the points the resolution dealt with. I really hoped to get called, and fortunately, a few seconds later my delegation was called on the P.A. system."

This is unnesscary. Delete it.

"Then I stood up and approached the podium in the center of the auditorium, just before I explained to the whole assembly Chile’s position on
genetically modified organisms.

However, I am not from Chile, I am Venezuelan. And that’s the essence of the Model
United Nations."

Excellent lines. These 2 sentences should be combined into one paragrpah. This is your theme/ intro of the essay.

"It’s a fantastic opportunity to learn about world issues and obtain valuable negotiation and
debate skills."

This is a very broad statement. It's very general. Of course it's a opportunity to learn political issues current news, duh. Be specific. what's kinds of debating skills?

"Apart from that, SAMUN has been a fabulous opportunity to practice and improve my English, as well as obtain negotiating, debate, and rhetoric skills. "

Again, it's very broad. I'm sure many other people also improved their english skill at this conference. It IS debating right? Be more specific. Give examples. Be personal. You'are writing on surface.

""I met many students from the rest of South America with the same interests and opinions as
mine, and I keep in contact with these people."

Irreveant to the theme. Delete it.

"I have become familiar with issues such as globalization and economic integration and development, and with problems that affect a great portion of the world’s population, such as poverty, hunger, war, and human rights violations. "

Agasin, it's too broad. Poverty, economic integration. You put out all thses huge issues, yet you need to talk about them? What bout them? You need to back them up with details.

"These events have made me a more complete individual, and have expanded my critical thinking in these kinds of matters. The Model United Nations events have helped me in being closer to global citizenship."

So these event re-shaped you as a person. But how. How has it PERSONALLY affected you. Be more specific. Dig deeper. how has it brought you close you global citizenship? You become more aware? more experince? etc...

"One of the most interesting experiences I had in these events was being a Security
Council delegate...in the discussion much more actively and frequently than in
the previous times I had attended the conference."

This paragraph seems out of place. either delet or use it as on one of your example. But focus on one thing only. Is it poverty? Hunger?War?iraqi? There's too much going on.

"believe the ultimate goal of a Model United Nations is fulfilled when an Israeli kid understands the point of view of a Palestinian, or when a participant from India can see through the eyes of a Pakistani."

Don't use it in your conclusion. Conclusion shoudn't have any more examples. Sum your esssay up.

Overall, your essay is ok. A bit cliched. Focus on one thing only. I learned so much about MUN yet not a thing about you. It's not personal enough. Talk about how has ths expericen affected you and your outlook. Don't write a pamphet on MUN or world peace. You'll come off souding like Ganhdi.

Good luck

By Papalemming (Papalemming) on Wednesday, December 31, 2003 - 01:40 pm: Edit

Damnit, I'm in the UPS Store where I am supposed to send that from.