New essay needs critique!

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Discus: College Admissions: 2002 - 2003 Archive: October 2003 Archive: New essay needs critique!
By Gigglz (Gigglz) on Wednesday, October 22, 2003 - 08:20 pm: Edit

K guys, this is the essay i'm planning on sending to Pepperdine..pllleeeeease help me!

Growing up as an amusing teenager, the workings of the mass media have always intrigued me. Somehow, it was me that would always know the latest twists on tidbits of celebrity gossip, the spiciest review of a hot new movie to hit theaters, or the critical details of a criminal case I’d seen on CBS. I’d give the rundown of my day in a monotonous “news anchor” tone when replying to my mom’s question of, “How was school today?”, and held subscriptions to three teen magazines. I always found media and news coverage remarkable; how would citizens ever know about the world around them if not for these people? In the midst of my high school years, I decided that I didn’t only want to know about the world, I wanted to be a presenter of it as well.
My junior year, and the first year one is allowed to do so, I enrolled in a journalism class at my school. Introduction to Journalism taught me the crucial elements to good news writing and delivery. I learned the meanings of slander, libel, and bias, while making sure to keep such elements out of stories involving news. I learned how important the element of truth is to the media, and the ethics to being a good journalist. Not long after having joined the class, I was absorbed in writing anything I could for the school newspaper. I’d produce hard news stories, editorials on issues that mattered to students like me, and the information on the latest Student of the Month. I’d even try to cover “smaller” issues happening around campus, such as the arrival of new computers in the library. Suddenly, small elements were seen as significant issues to me. It struck me how many things actually occurred around my school and community.
I also stayed around after each school day on publication weeks to help with story selection, correction, and production layout. My instructor soon named me assistant editor.
One year later, I am still enrolled in Journalism (currently in Advanced, next semester will be Editorial) and active with the paper. As newly appointed editor-in-chief, I plan to have an amazing year with our staff and productions. I have high goals set, goals of which my school’s programs have provided ambition to fuel myself with. If given the opportunity to attend Pepperdine, I know I will put forth my best effort in achieving these goals. Pepperdine, with its various programs in journalism and communication, provides a haven for anyone fascinated with the mass media. As a hopeful Broadcast Journalism or Communications major, I would heavily contribute to class discussion, opportunities, and outside work. I want to be like the smiling messengers I wake up to every morning while eating breakfast, the writers of the Seventeen issues I read before going to bed. I want to deliver information to the world, to make people aware of the wonderful communities they live in. When opportunity knocks, I will be prepared.

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