Question: Is the National Young Leaders Conference Program (NYLC), that includes a six-day visit to Washington D.C. and is sponsored by the Congressional Youth Leadership Council (CYLC), a scam or not? They are asking for a tuition of $1,700, which sounds awfully high.

Most of the students in my orbit praise the National Young Leaders Conference Program (NYLC) and its affiliated programs as being very interesting and well-run. However, these programs are indeed expensive. Many high schoolers think it’s a big honor to be “chosen” and that by putting NYLC on their applications, they’ll get a boost at college-admissions time. But this is simply not true. Too many students are “invited” to take part to make this a truly selective organization, and so many college candidates do take part–especially those from the more well-heeled families–that college-admission officials usually just yawn when they spot NYLC on an application.

The NYLC and similar offerings have been discussed extensively on the College Confidential forum. For instance, see http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/199281-national-young-leaders-conference.html So check there for advice from students and parents with first-hand experience.

If the cost seems steep to you and you don’t get a scholarship, you’ll have to think carefully about why you want to do this and what your other summer options are. I’ve really heard little that’s bad about these programs–except for complaints about the price. But don’t sign on if your main goal is to wow admission committees because, in that department, your time and money can be better spent.

A college on my daughter’s list has asked her father and me for a letter of reference. It will be very tough for us to write about this girl we love and admire so much with the hope that the admission committee will view her as we do and will take our praise seriously. But once we’ve done it, can we send this letter to her other colleges, too, the ones that didn’t ask us for a reference? (I saw that in a book you wrote a few years ago, you said it was a good idea.)

Heaven help me if I ever try to run for political office! My opponents would have no trouble unearthing positions I’ve taken in the past which I’ve since reversed. And my stance on unsolicited parent letters is one of them … well, sort of. Why? Read on:

Not long after I started working in the admission office at Smith College, a couple of decades ago, the administration decided to offer parents the opportunity to write a recommendation for their applicant daughters. I suspect that this plan was hatched largely as a public-relations ploy. The idea was that Mom and Dad would proclaim, “Gee, finally a college that cares about us and what we think,” and then they’d encourage their daughters to attend Smith.

Well, even if the concept was self-serving, the parent letters were a huge plus. We often saw sides of our candidates that weren’t revealed anywhere else in their applications. Mothers and fathers were full of anecdotes, and the best parent letters weren’t merely strings of accolades (”conscientious,” “hard-working,”"reliable”) but also illustrated these qualities. Sure, some letters were a bit top-heavy with tales of pre-school triumphs (”She was the first girl in the Gopher Group to draw a tree that almost looked like one!” ), and such fond family memories didn’t always translate into effective application fodder. Yet, overall, the parent letters enabled us to view our applicants through a unique lens.

So, if it were up to me, I’d respond with a resounding “YES” to your query. In fact, in Panicked Parents’ Guide to College Admissions (last updated in 2002), I do indeed suggest that parents should feel free to send reference letters to colleges that don’t request them. But a year or so ago, this topic came up on the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) listserve. I was amazed by how many college admission folks made disparaging remarks about parent references. It was as if I could almost seeing them rolling their eyes in Cyberspace. The general consensus seemed to be that, of course, parents are going to support their kids, so the letters will inevitably lack credibility. Some college staffers even called the letters pretentious, their authors pompous or misguided (possibly by me??? ).

Obviously, as I noted above, a letter of recommendation–regardless of who writes it–is not terribly effective if it provides only complimentary adjectives. But when anecdotes are supplied to support the accolades, it’s a whole different story. And this is true when the letters come from Mom or Dad, as well. Sure, the most cynical admission officials might suspect that such anecdotes from parents are not authentic. But I was always willing to make the assumption that they were, and they certainly offered information that the rest of the application didn’t.

So, bottom line: If the letter you compose for the college that requests it really seems to paint a picture of your daughter that the rest of her application doesn’t, then you should consider sending it to all her target colleges. But if you do, caveat it up the wazoo! Candidly explain that you initially wrote it for another school, that you were daunted by the task but pleased with the results. Point out that it shows a side that other application materials do not–one that you hope will be helpful. But grovel a bit as well, and apologize in advance for adding to in-box overload and for potentially coming across as presumptuous.

It can be frustrating to recognize that your terrific child is about to be adjudicated by strangers who don’t know her. That’s one reason that I was always a big fan of the parent letters. But now, since I’ve discovered that many admission officials are not as enthused as I am, I suggest that you ignore any advice of mine that you stumbled on from the past and use your own judgment instead.. Send the letter only if it reveals information that you think the colleges should know and which might not otherwise reach them. And if I do ever run for public office, expect to find lots of 180’s in my voting record.

Question: Although I browse College Confidential, I have not much glanced at the Essays section until yesterday, and a question pops up: To what extent are colleges aware that applicants receive so much essay writing help, editing, revising, etc? What do they do if they find out that the college admissions consultant wrote the essay?

You’ve hit a nerve with me. This essay business has gotten way out of hand, and it’s near the top of the (lengthy) list of my admissions-process frustrations. College folks claim that they can usually sniff out essays that are not the student’s original work. But I disagree. Of course it’s true sometimes … particularly now that a growing number of admission officials are requesting the writing-sample portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home–and which may have passed through many drafts (and many hands) before submission.

Among college staff, guidance counselors, and teachers there are two camps. The first includes those who say, “Admission officials should use only the essays that are produced in proctored sessions to be sure that the applicants themselves are the authors.” The other camp, however, maintains that even the best writers deserve a chance to edit and revise and that a short and pressured test administration does not produce the sort of writing sample–or revealing information about the applicant–that the traditional college essay is designed to do.

Personally, while I can see where each argument has its merits, I land in the first contingent. There is not only rampant “cheating” out there–with students paying ringers to compose their essays (or to whitewash their fledgling efforts beyond recognition), but also there is way too much gray area when it comes to what is ethical and what is not.

For instance, I read Acceptance, by Dave Marcus (a book I highly recommend. It shadows one outstanding guidance counselor in Long Island and shows us what the guidance gold standard should be for all our kids.) The seniors at Oyster Bay High School, who were profiled in the Marcus book, took a fall-term elective class called “Essay Writing for College,” which was co-taught by the head of guidance and the AP English teacher. Even if the instructors did not write a single word of the student prose, certainly the advice they provided, their attention to detail, and the time allotted to the task gave Oyster Bay students a huge edge over their counterparts elsewhere who didn’t have access to comparable expertise.

Similarly, many high schools that do not offer a dedicated class like the one at Oyster Bay nonetheless include college essay-writing as part of the English curriculum. Many other schools, of course, do not. College officials will rarely know if an essay has had the benefit of an English teacher’s intervention nor how extensive this intervention might have been.

Personally, I have seen hundreds of essays that I am certain are not the student’s original work … even some pretty lousy essays that reflect their too-many-cooks construction. I’ve also seen some wonderful essays that I’m sure had no adult intrusion and yet might still trip the sensitive seismographs of suspicious admissions evaluators.

Although application forms commonly require students to supply a signature that attests to the originality of all materials, it’s not really clear where one draws the line. For instance, if a parent, teacher, or other advisor tells a student that his or her opening paragraph is a snooze and suggests a snazzier one to replace it, is the work still authentic? I have reviewed countless essays myself over several decades, and yet I continue to struggle to find that fine line between “editing” and “altering.”

If I ruled the world, entire college applications would be done under proctored conditions in a single Saturday-morning session, much as the SAT’s and ACT’s are conducted now. All writing would be authentic (albeit not perfected due to the time constraints). The application would also include a slew of short-answer questions–such as Princeton’s renowned “hodge-podge” queries. (”Your favorite book,” “Your favorite movie,” “Your favorite keepsake or memento,” “Your favorite source of inspiration,” etc.) But in my application utopia, these questions would vary from year to year to help guard against professional tampering. (”Geez, Louise, do you really think any Ivy will admit you if you list The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants as your favorite literary work?”)

Now back to your initial question: Most college admission officials claim that they are aware that essay doctoring is out there, but I think they often repudiate just how rampant it is. They fail to take appropriate steps to safeguard against it, and they also fail to set consistent guidelines to define what sort of help is permissible and what isn’t. (Yet even with crystal clear boundaries, there are always those who will blatantly ignore them. For instance, an independent counselor friend of mine recently told me that a current client is irate because she refuses to write his essays. The parents claim that the other private counselors in their purview always author the essays.)

In the vast majority of cases, college officials can only guess that a personal statement is not original. Unless the student has submitted “Self-Reliance” — or perhaps one of the more memorable samples from the countless essay how-to tomes that now abound–chances are that admission committees can’t ever be 100 percent sure that an essay is not the applicant’s own. But if the suspicion level is high, it will certainly work against the student as the yea and nay votes are tallied. If it’s really high, the admission staff may contact the guidance counselor to discuss their concerns.

Like many things in life, the essay-writing debate boils down to a personal-responsibility issue. There are those who won’t play by the rules and those who will–even if they pay a price for doing so. Two years ago, when my own son was competing for the graduation-speaker honor at his elementary school, he had to submit a speech to be adjudicated. I tossed out a very general idea (”Why don’t you mention every student in the class by name and include a memory of each one of them?”) My son told me that, although my suggestion was decent, he could no longer use it because it wasn’t his. “I didn’t tell you what to write,” I explained. “I just gave you a direction to head in.” “Nope,” he insisted. “Can’t do it now.” Then he turned the computer screen from my prying eyes and tackled the task without assistance.

Well, my son got the job anyway, but I realized that afternoon that I might have to steel myself for the day when he sends in all his college essays while I–despite my eons of expertise–get nary a peek. If nothing changes between now and then, his staunch insistence on authenticity might hurt him in the race for space at the most selective schools. But, even so, I have to hope that–for him and for all others like him who know in their hearts what is really their own–the loss of admissions advantage will be supplanted by a lifetime of good karma instead.

Question: I’m a good student, active in many extracurriculars, and have maintained a 3.9. However, this past summer I made a poor decision and was charged with a misdemeanor. The consequences of my actions however, changed my entire outlook on life. I was wondering if it would be a good or bad idea to write my essay about this experience?

If you’re comfortable telling me what your “poor decision” was, I can better advise you. Also, since it was in the summer, can I assume that this didn’t affect your school record … no disciplinary action at school, suspension, etc.?

Sometimes these “true confessions” essays can be worthwhile, but in other cases they can be what my 12-year-old son calls “TMI” … i.e., “Too Much Information.” While, for most colleges, you will have to reveal your misdeed anyway (more on that in a minute), the typical high school misdemeanor (e.g., sharing a beer beneath the baseball bleachers or even a joint in the local park) is rarely application essay fodder. Even if you learned some important lessons about honesty or peer pressure or trust, this will probably not be what you want as the “centerfold” of your application. There are surely other strengths, talents, interests, etc. of yours that should take a more starring role. But, again, it’s hard for me to say for sure without knowing the details. (And, of course, if you’re a terrific writer, you can write about pretty much anything.)

The Common Application (and many others … though not all) will ask you, “Have you ever been convicted of a misdemeanor, felony, or other crime?” So you do have to respond honestly, and–whenever the answer is “YES”– it’s important to include a statement that explains what you did and what you learned from this experience. In such cases, if you succumbed to peer pressure, it’s fine to say so, but be sure that you also assume responsibility for your own actions and not foist all of the blame onto others.

But, by conveying this information in a supplementary letter or essay and by writing your primary college essay about something else, you will send a message to colleges that proclaims, “Yes, I did screw up, but this doesn’t define who I am. There are other aspects of my life that are far more important.”

After all, college applications give you very little space to reveal the real you, and you may want to use your required essay to show what is truly special–and wonderful–about you and to let your lapse in judgment take a back seat, even if you feel that you matured or changed because of it.

Question: My daughter has applied for binding Early Decision at a highly selective private college. (Applications are due tomorrow, but she’s submitted hers already.) She is having second thoughts about this school being her first and only choice. We will not receive the decision from the college until December. Would you recommend I call the admissions department and withdraw the ED binding agreement and ask to have her application placed with the regular pool of applicants? I feel this would be the most honest and ethical way to handle it.

Since your daughter seems to have cold feet, it’s wise to move her application into the Regular-Decision pool. However, as you and your daughter probably realize, there is usually an admissions-odds boost that comes with an Early Decision application. So your daughter will forfeit this advantage if she decides against applying ED. But she will not be otherwise penalized for this last-minute change of heart. In the past, I’ve seen families in a similar situation who have worried that there will be some sort of “black mark” stamped on the application folder that says “Fickle!” But there won’t be, and I do agree that, if your daughter is concerned that she may not be making the right choice, it’s smart to reconsider now.

The only other suggestion I can offer is that your daughter should make the call herself, and she should be sure to get the name of the person she spoke with. She will probably be told to follow up in writing and may be asked to have her school counselor do the same. While she will most likely speak with a secretary, and it might not make a difference that she she made the call–not you, it’s still prudent for her to take charge of this sticky situation on her own. There’s always a chance that she will be connected with the staff member who oversees her high school, so she should be steeled for that possibility as she dials. (Does anyone say “Dial” anymore?)

Good luck to her … and to you … whatever she decides.

Question: Some of my son’s friends are plotting an Early Decision strategy that entails applying to a first-choice college in the Early Decision I round. Then if they are deferred (not even denied outright) they plan to apply to a second-choice college in the ED II round without ever knowing if they might have gotten into their first choice. Is this legal? Ethical? What do you think about it?

This ED I/ED II gambit has been around for a while, and I’ve seen it in action many times. Frankly, I’m a fan … at least in some cases. Although conventional wisdom suggests that a student should only apply via a binding Early Decision program when he or she has a clear-cut top-choice college, I actually find that many seniors have several colleges where they’re convinced they will be happy and engaged. So … I don’t think it’s unreasonable to select one of these schools as the top-choice candidate for the first round of Early Decision but, then, if the news isn’t good, to give the second choice a shot in the ED II round, rather than waiting for a final verdict from the #1 school in April.

PROS and CONS?

First the pluses:

Early Decision, whether it’s Round I or Round II, typically boosts admission odds, sometimes really significantly. It’s the old bird-in-hand-theory. That is, colleges are more apt to say yes to borderline applicants in an ED round, knowing that they are committed to enroll.

Sometimes, at “need-conscious” colleges, borderline ED applicants who need significant money will be admitted and aided, while similar Regular Decision applicants with comparable financial need may not make the final cut.

Even though ED II students usually have to apply to other colleges (because ED II decisions won’t be issued until after many Regular Decision deadlines have passed), it can still take the heat off of senior year to get good news in February while classmates are sweating bullets over spring outcomes.

Now … the drawbacks:

Students who are deferred from first-choice colleges in December and then admitted via ED II to second-choice schools may spend the rest of their lives roaming the planet and muttering lines from “The Road Not Taken,” as they wonder what might have been. So, I recommend that only those who find little difference in their passion for their ED I and ED II colleges should follow this route.

Sometimes–though not always–colleges with merit aid don’t make their best offers to “sure-thing” ED applicants, hoping instead to reel in some big but undecided fish in the spring. So if students who are counting on non-need-based aid are rejected or deferred from a “dream college” in the fall, it may make sense to skip the next round of ED in order to compare aid offers in April.

Legal, Ethical … and Effective:

Overall, although students who play the ED I/ED II game may be subject to criticism for their fickle hearts, I’ve actually seen many happy endings that resulted from this ploy. Students must keep in mind, however, that if the ED II school is their own second choice but is equally selective as the ED I school that already said “No” or “Not now,” then more bad news may be in the offing. (But, given the sometimes-capricious nature of the admissions process, this isn’t always true.) The savviest students (and parents) typically ratchet down their sights when applying to the ED II college following an ED I denial or deferral.

Some of the winning combinations I’ve seen in recent years include:

Bowdoin (deferred ED I); Bates (admitted ED II)
Middlebury (deferred ED I); Hamilton (admitted, ED II)
Washington U. in St. Louis (deferred ED I); Emory (admitted ED II)
U. of Richmond (deferred ED I); Hobart and William Smith (admitted ED II)
Dartmouth (rejected ED I … makes it easier to pick an ED II school); Colgate (admitted ED II)

Once a student has been deferred by an ED I college, it is completely legal and ethical to apply elsewhere … even via a binding option. The signed commitment to the ED I school will vaporize once the ink has dried on the deferral notice.

My greatest reservation about this strategy is that sometimes I see students who hastily select an ED II college on the heels of an ED I rejection, much as a scorned lover may jump into a bad rebound relationship too quickly. Since many colleges don’t offer an ED II round (and some have no Early options at all), students can sometimes talk themselves into the schools that do, even if they’re not the most suitable matches.

Yet, more and more, I’m seeing students–perhaps like your son’s friends–who are plotting out their EDI/II choices from the get-go, and as soon as they spot the words “We’re sorry … ” on their first Early decision, they’re hitting the “Submit” button for a second try.

Question: I’ve landed myself in suspension, and I can’t go back to school until a full year has passed. What do I do in this time period? I can’t go to a community college, because suspended students can’t transfer any credits. What do I do until this year is up? What kind of things should I accomplish in this year?

Sorry to hear that you’re in some hot water. I’m not clear from your question if you’ll be returning to your original college once your suspension is over or applying to a new one. But, since you’ve said “Suspension” and not “Expulsion,” I’m going to assume that you haven’t been given a permanent heave-ho and do plan to go back to your old college when you can.

My best suggestion for using your time off in a productive way would be to get an internship or job that is related to your major or prospective career. In today’s economic climate, where many new college grads aren’t finding meaningful work (or any work), it can be a big plus to produce a résumé that includes some experience in your field of interest.

Paid internships, however, tend to be highly competitive. Your chances of landing one while on suspension are probably slim. Sure, you could tell potential employers that you’re simply taking a gap year without offering any of the gory details. But you’ll probably also be asked for references, which could be a deal-breaker if you need one from a college official.

Unpaid internships, however, are a different story. Some are also competitive, but many are not … particularly if your “internship” is really just a glorified volunteer job that you’ve made up for yourself.

For instance, if your major is history, you could trot on down to the closest historic house or museum and offer a chunk of your time. If you’re in education or psychology, you can probably find plenty of opportunities to help out in a nearby school, pre-school, after-school program, etc. Aspiring journalists can contact local newspapers and offer to write reviews of area plays, movies, books, restaurants, etc. Whatever your interests, be creative … try to find a need or niche and fill it.

There is a fine line that separates a “volunteer” post from an “internship.” Typically, with an internship you are actually learning some real skills that connect to the field in question, and you are usually working closely with a staff member who is helping you to learn these skills. A volunteer, on the other hand, may do this same sort of meaningful work or, instead, could be assigned to more menial tasks that will assist the organization but which don’t provide any significant training. For example, at the aforementioned historic house, a “volunteer” may simply take tickets or sell sodas at the snack bar, while an “intern” might give tours or answer questions more substantive than, “How much is a Diet Pepsi?”

So your goal will be to create a position for yourself that you can honestly dub an “internship” when it’s time to put together your résumé or to fill out post-college job applications.

If money is a concern, then your suspension year would also be a good time to get a paying job, even if it’s not one that is good résumé fodder later on. In fact, you can probably find a way to hold down a paying job and also take on an internship. Neither one has to be full-time.

In addition, even if you can’t earn college credits during your suspension year, it doesn’t mean that you can’t enroll in non-credit college courses. This could be a good time to start a new foreign language, learn computer programming, or acquire other helpful skills that you might not have time to study during the usual college term.

If you’re thinking of transferring to a new college, then success at either a paid job or an internship (or both) would help admission officials to see that, whatever you did to screw up, you’ve been able to mend your ways and take on new responsibilities. Taking college classes–even not for credit–would work in your favor as well, showing admission folks that you are serious about your education, even when you’re not officially in school.

Similarly, if you’re considering applying to a different college, you might also want to consider a volunteer job (or internship) that is tied to your infraction. For example, if you were suspended for drug or alcohol-related reasons, you could volunteer at a rehab center or –better yet–design your own program to share the evils of substance abuse with younger teens. This would help admission officials at your transfer school to see that you are taking responsibility for your earlier offense.

Finally, a new college may not have the same restriction on credits earned during your year off. So if you do take some college classes while suspended, you may actually find that some of them do “count,” if you transfer.

As the late, great John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” You’re in a predicament right now that you may never have anticipated. But it does sound like you want to make the best of your time away from school, and you certainly can. You may end up having experiences that you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed on the traditional four-year track, and you might even find that these experiences will serve you well when you finally do finish college.

Question: My son scored a 31 on his ACT in June. He is taking it again tomorrow. If he scores lower this time, will his prospective colleges see this new score–or will they only see it if we send it to them? (Obviously we are happy with the first, but just trying to see if he can improve it by a couple of points.) However, if it would hurt him if he went down, I would not want to take that chance.

Your son may require a college degree … preferably from an elite school of technology …in order to decipher which scores colleges will … and must … see.

Short version (well, sort of):

If your son entered any college names on his ACT registration form (in order to take advantage of the “free” score reports the ACT provides) then those schools he named will receive his new score. (Colleges to which he sent scores in the past will NOT automatically receive the new one if your son did not list them on his latest form.)

Other reasons that colleges might see the new score:

1) Some high schools put them on transcripts. Does yours?

2) Many colleges require that students send ALL test scores. (If your son is applying to colleges with this requirement, it is up to him to forward the scores. The colleges will only get the new score if your son has proactively ordered it.)

Here, for instance, is Yale’s score submission policy:

Yale requires results from all of the SAT I and SAT II tests or all of the ACT tests you have taken. If you choose to fulfill our testing requirement with SAT scores, then it is not necessary to send any scores from the ACT, even if you have taken the ACT. And if you choose to fulfill the requirement using the ACT, you do not need to send us any SAT scores, unless you wish.

However, and this is important, if you elect to use the SAT scores, you must report all scores from all SAT exams (both SAT I and SAT II) that you have taken. If you elect to use ACT scores, you must report all scores from all ACT exams you have taken. And if you choose to use a combination of SAT and ACT results, we require that you report all scores from both agencies.

So if your son is applying to Yale–or to any college with similar requirements–he’s supposed to send in all of his ACT scores if sending in any ACT’s. But, again, this won’t happen automatically if your son did not include a college’s name on the sign-up form.

Finally, if your son’s newest test result turns out to be lower than a 31 and the colleges do get a gander at it, most will still officially “use” the higher score. Granted, if the second score is a lot lower, this may have some subconscious effect on those admission folks who view it. But, with everything else there is to worry about throughout this frustrating process, that should be pretty low on the list.

Question: My child’s high school gives quarter and semester grades. Do colleges just look at just the end-of-semester grades or at all grades?

Most high schools put all grades on the transcript that goes to colleges; some high schools, however, will put only the final grade for each course. (For half-year classes or Block System classes, this is usually the semester grade. At schools with four quarters per class or three trimesters, it will be the cumulative grade for that class, as determined by the teacher at the end of the year.)

Assuming that all grades, not just the final ones, are indeed on the transcript, then college admission officials will look at them but they won’t really “use” them except sometimes as potential puzzle pieces … i.e., to help them to discern patterns or problems. For instance, if an A student ends the year with several B’s, the admission committee may notice that he or she had one disastrous quarter (C’s, D’s, maybe even an F) and A’s in all the others. If concerned, an admission officer might call the school to get more information about why that student slipped so much in that single term (Illness? Family crisis? etc.)

Occasionally, seeing the quarter grades may raise some flags. If a student is bouncing all over the place with up and down marks in every subject, the college folks may question this candidate’s focus and work ethic.

More typically however, the grades don’t vary egregiously from quarter to quarter. So if a “B” student has a “C” in one marking period, the admission committees will barely give this a second glance, and the focus will really be just on the final grade.

Hope that answers your question. Be sure to check with your child’s school so that you’ll know what the colleges will … and won’t … actually see on the transcript.

Question: I believe that I am a very strong student. Over the years I have had a 4.0, and I have been very involved in many activities. However, this is my senior year, and in my first nine weeks I got a C in my math class. All of my other grades were very high, and in both of my AP class I had A’s and B’s. Do you think there is any chance that I will get into college?

Yikes! You need to talk to a good college counselor! You are going to have tons of great college options. Admittedly, getting one “C” might affect your admission chances at some schools … especially the most selective ones. But it won’t be a deal-breaker for sure, and there are certainly many excellent colleges that will welcome an applicant with your record … including that “C.”

Don’t you have a decent guidance counselor at your school to help you determine which colleges will be good fits for you and where you are likely to be accepted? Unless you can’t see beyond the Ivy League and another short list of hyper-competitive colleges, then you will have many great choices. So talk to your counselor, and if that doesn’t help, write back.