College Life

Question: I was recently admitted to the University of Connecticut for next fall, and I was pretty surprised to find out that I was invited to join the Honors program. I’ve been reading about the program, and I’ve noticed that there is special Honors housing. Why is this? Will I be living with ONLY honors students? I really don’t want to be isolated from the general student body.
Congratulations on your admission to the UConn honors program.

I don’t know anything about their honors housing except what I read on the UConn Web site. (See below.) But, in general, some colleges and universities give honors students a choice of living in an honors dorm or not, while other schools automatically put all honors students together. It sounds like UConn falls into this latter group, but it’s worth a phone call there to double check.

Most of the time, honors students at big public universities appreciate the chance to live with like-minded others. Typical first-year problems (e.g., alcohol abuse, noisy all-night parties) are often less prevalent in honors dorms. Not surprisingly, too, honors dorms tend to be among the nicest ones on many campuses. On the other hand, I’ve occasionally spoken with honors students who, like you, prefer NOT to be segregated from the general population.

According to the UConn Honors Program Web site, after your first year you have the option of remaining in honors housing or living elsewhere on campus.

Personally, unless you have strong reasons for wanting to avoid the honors dorm, I would suggest that–if you enroll at UConn–you do elect to live there for at least your first year, if indeed you have a choice. Transitioning to college life can be challenging, and living in a place with students who share your academic talents and focus may help to make that transition smoother. You will have plenty of opportunities to mingle with other classmates, regardless of where you live on campus.

Here is the link to the UConn honors housing page, along with the text that explains the options.

http://www.honors.uconn.edu/community-housing/index.php?p=housing&s=south

Housing

Honors housing provides the opportunity to live in an academic environment that supports the social, emotional, and personal growth of Honors students. Living in Honors housing will facilitate a stronger sense of community within the program and will encourage your academic success.

As first year Honors students, you will be assigned to live in Shippee Hall, which is the Honors First-Year Residential Community. There are also some spaces for Honors students who wish to continue living in Shippee after their first year. After the first year, you will have a wide variety of housing options offered by the Department of Residence Life. You may live in any housing option that is available during room selection after the first year. You may also wish to continue living in Honors Housing in the upper-division residence hall, South A. Traditionally, South A has housed juniors and seniors in the Honors Program.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

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Question: It’s nearly December of my senior year in college, and I feel as though my entire college career has been a waste. I haven’t made any friends or made any memories that will last a lifetime. I’ve been discouraged from doing extracurricular activities because my family wants me home for dinner every night after my classes are over, and they’ve traditionally looked down on clubs and organizations unless they’re part of a class. In year four, is it too late to change? Should I just give up or do you have any suggestions for me on how to not waste my last year?

It sounds like you’ve got two separate but overlapping issues here. It’s certainly not too late to spice up your senior year with the collegiate activities and friendships that you’ve missed so far, but you also have to be looking down the road beyond college. If your family has kept such tight reins on you, what do they expect after graduation? Do they still think you’ll be living at home and having dinner with them every night?

A family pow-wow is long overdue. Be sensitive to your parents’ feelings and values, but try to explain that they’re doing you a disservice by keeping such strict control over your time. Show them the letter that you wrote to us. Help them to realize that you feel your college experience has been “wasted” by the boundaries they’ve imposed.

If there is a “mediator” in your life (e.g., a relative they respect but who will understand your perspective, too; a member of the clergy or any other adult who might be able to build a bridge between your opposing viewpoints), then it may be time to seek an ally when you propose this talk.

If you don’t think the talk will work, start by putting your thoughts in writing, as you did for us. You should address not only your concerns about your squandered college years so far, but also a “game plan” that outlines your goals for the months ahead. Make sure that your plan includes plenty of family time as well as an ample dose of opportunity for you to branch out.

It should also include your post-graduation goals. Are you expecting to live at home? What does your family expect? Could this be a good time to assert your independence by attending graduate school or finding a job that will be too far away to allow you to commute?

Before you approach your family, you might want to read this article, “Commuting: Is it the Right Fit?” by Nicole Verardi

http://www.nacacnet.org/MemberPortal/News/StepsNewsletter/commuting.htm

Although it’s really geared to high school students and their parents who are considering a commuter college, I think that some of the advice is apt for you, as well. Note my own comments near the end that call for clarifying parental and student expectations regarding commitments to the household.

Pay special attention to the section that suggests that “You Don’t Have to be Disconnected from the Campus Experience.” This offers you some ideas on how to be more involved on campus. Even with just a semester or so left, you’ve got time to enjoy your college career.

Here’s an appropriate holiday gift for your parents:

Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger.

While, again, this book is best read by those whose offspring are just finishing high school, your parents should still find it useful and comforting. If you think you can present it to them in a way that won’t enrage them, then it’s worth a shot. Nonetheless, you should anticipate some anger and/or hurt feelings as you broach this topic, but hold your course. The issue is too important to sidestep simply out of fear of an unpleasant confrontation.

Meanwhile, try not to feel as if your college years have been wasted because of your homefront situation. Sure, you may always have regrets about how you spent your time–or didn’t. But rest assured that many of us who did fully participate in college life look back with regrets as well (plus there are all those awful photos that keep resurfacing. Believe me, when you’re 55 you don’t want to see yourself in a toga at age 19!) With hindsight, you will probably find that there are even pluses to your circumstances. In any case, it does no good to dwell on what might have been. It’s time to focus on the future and on the changes you can make over the months immediately ahead–as well as in many years beyond them.

We wish you well.

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Question: What are the pros and cons of graduating from college in less than four years for the student and for the institution?
The greatest benefit for a student who is able to graduate in less than four years is the opportunity to save money … up to about $50,000 for those who attend the priciest of the private schools. (Obviously, I’m counting not only tuition, room, and board, but also student activities fees, books, and pizza.)

For some students, a speedier undergraduate experience also means an express route to grad school or a career. In other words, if you know what you want to do and are eager to get going on it (e.g., law school) then you may want to expedite your time as an undergrad.

For institutions, early grads are only problematic if the trend becomes too popular. When students are paying by the semester and not by the credit, then an undergrad who accelerates will often take an extra-heavy course load (e.g., five classes instead of the standard four, at some schools) and the college doesn’t receive extra compensation. If too many students want to graduate in less than the traditional four years, it can make for crowded classrooms and overburdened professors.

Similarly, if early graduation is your goal, then depending on the college you attend, you may–or may NOT–be able to get into all the classes you need to take within the time you’ve allotted yourself. Also, some early grads also complain that, while an accelerated program is a great money-saver, they don’t have room in their schedules for “fun” electives or they don’t get to take part in special senior-class traditions.

One student I know planned to graduate in three years so that her parents could afford her very expense liberal arts college. However, because of this, she would not be able to spend her junior year abroad as she had hoped. (College rules did not allow it for accelerating students.) So, as a compromise, she went on leave for a year and taught in China (where she even got paid!). Thus, she was able to experience living abroad, save her parents lots of dough, and–because of the time off–will graduate with her original class next May.

So, if you do think that acceleration may be right for you, keep in mind that there may be ways to work around whatever pitfalls you encounter.

Good luck!

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Question: After you apply to college and have been accepted, how can you arrange who will become your roommate?

Colleges have different systems for matching roommates. Typically, however, pairings are based on your responses to a series of questions that you’ll submit during the summer before your freshman year. These questions may ask about your sleep patterns (are you a morning person or a night owl?), your housekeeping skills (are your a neatnik? a slob?) and, above all, your smoking habits (unless there is no smoking in any dorm, in which case the question is moot). Sometimes the questionnaires are longer–more like those used by dating services–and explore your tastes in music, movies, literature, etc. Occasionally, even freshmen have the opportunity to live in “theme houses” (vegetarian, substance-free, French-speaking, etc.), and thus, if you do, too, you’ll know that your roommate will share at least one of your interests.

These days, many matches are made by computer but–at some schools–there is a human element, as well. Most colleges try to put students together who aren’t from the same high school or even from the same part of the country, but that will depend a lot on the college in question. Many housing officials will honor your request–if you have one–to room with a friend or acquaintance. I often encourage students to use the start of college as a time to meet new friends rather than to cling to the safety of the old. However, because the beginning of college life offers many challenges and changes, I also understand why some students feel the need to live with someone familiar.

If you’ll be living with a stranger (or, sometimes, more than one), keep in mind that sometimes the best roommates are not the best of friends. A thoughtful and cooperative roommate doesn’t have to share your passions or your social life. So don’t be quick to judge your roomie as incompatible just from the clothes on her back or the CDs on her shelf.

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Question: I’m a college student who wants to know if there is any way to truly balance academic life with social life.

Some students seem to have little trouble juggling schoolwork and socializing. In many cases, this is because of who they are. Some of us are better than others when it comes to resisting temptations or saying no to peer pressure. Some students, too, worry more about grades and class performance than others do, and they work hard to make academics a priority.

To a great degree, this is an acquired skill. Freshmen aren’t accustomed to a typical college schedule which can mean only one or two classes on some days (or even none on others) and deadlines that may be weeks or months away. While their workloads are often gigantic, their free-time periods seem so too, and it’s easy to procrastinate. It often takes a semester or two (or three) to perfect the fine art of knowing how much work to do and when to do it.

The college one attends can make a big difference as well. Some places are renowned for their 24/7 parties, while–at the opposite extreme–are schools where strict rules keep socializing to a minimum and pose serious consequences for alcohol use. Some colleges have such an intense academic atmosphere that students wisely confine partying to the weekends. Students at these schools find that peer pressure can mean hitting the books, not the bars.

However, if you’re already in college, don’t plan to transfer, and fear that your schoolwork may not survive, here are a few suggestions:

1. Work in the library not in your dorm room. There are fewer temptations there. Some colleges even allocate library carrels to those who want them, so you can have your own home away from home.

2. Select your dorm thoughtfully. Often “theme” dorms (e.g., foreign language, vegetarian cuisine, “Great Books”) attract more serious students than those earmarked for the general population. “Substance Free” is, in fact, a common theme. Some dorms or dorm complexes have resident faculty members who oversee mini-courses available only to residents. These dorms, too, are usually popular with a more academic crowd than the high-rises with satellite TV in every lounge. Even campuses without theme houses or mini-courses tend to have some living areas that are reputed to be far more sedate than others. Similarly, off-campus housing can mean more solitude and study time or it could put you smack dab in Party Central, if you land in an apartment complex full of students or stuffed in a bedroom with mulitple others. Choose wisely.

3. Join a club or organization (or a few). Social life doesn’t have to mean sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Many students bond with their fellow staffers on the school newspaper or have a great time on Outing Club expeditions. You don’t have to sign up for the Campus Crusade for Christ to find a group of friends who prefer to direct their energies to more worthwhile ventures than tapping a keg.

4. Get outside help. If you’re really struggling to keep your focus on your academic commitments, you might want to talk to either your faculty advisor or a member of the college counseling staff. He or she may suggest setting up regular check-ins to chart your progress and can offer advice that is specific to your campus and situation.

The fact that you’re asking this question in the first place indicates that you do want to make the most of your college years and not waste your time–or a huge amount of money–on experiences that are far more frivolous than fruitful.

It is possible to balance academic and social life, but if it continues to seem totally impossible for you, in spite of your determination to do so, then it may be time for a transfer.

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Question: What are the most common problems college freshmen face in there first year at college?

Read the rest of this entry &raquo

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Question: I’m not a very good writer. Will my writing difficulties be a problem for me in college?

Some of the scariest headlines in the newspaper these days aren’t about war, terrorism, or killer viruses. Maybe that’s why we don’t notice them. Take this one, for instance: “Students failing to master skills in grammar, writing.”

By themselves those words don’t seem to ring any alarm bells. When you combine them with the bulk of our nation’s incoming college freshman every year, though, there is ample cause for concern. The article that follows beneath this headline from two years ago cites anecdotes about struggling college freshman. Their struggle is not with calculus, physics, chemistry, or computer science. It’s with written English.

Compounding this situation is the identity of the particular student body highlighted in the article. The struggling students are not from an obscure institution of higher learning located in some where-is-that town. These students are freshman at The Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

MIT is one of the best schools of its kind in the world and only admits three of ten applicants each year. So why do freshman at the ‘Tute, as it’s affectionately known, have so much trouble with the written English language? Only 17 percent of that year’s freshman class scored well enough on placement exams to exempt the freshman writing study course requirement. That means 83 percent of the freshmen couldn’t meet the school’s minimum standard for written communications skills. Now when you’re dealing with a class whose majority SAT score is between 1290 and 1470, that’s scary.

Why should this concern any of you who are still in high school? Well, the truth is that college work centers on writing. You write papers for English, history, anthropology, physics, music, and–yes–even computer science and sometimes math. Consider for a moment where civilization would be if all the great minds from days gone by had shrugged off their study of
English grammar and writing skills. Our libraries would be filled with boring, difficult-to-understand, and perhaps useless books. This is not to imply that each of us will be a researcher, professor, or novelist. It only means that it’s vitally important to learn how to get your point across clearly in writing.

Take your English classes seriously. Look at learning writing skills as an investment in your college future.

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Question: What’s the best way to determine the best major for me?

If you’re not sure what you really want to do with your life’s work just yet, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Ask your mom or dad what they knew about their futures when they were 18 years old. Chances are they didn’t have a solid idea either.

One of the great advantages of going to college is having the opportunity to discover who you really are. Obviously, you don’t have to go to college to find that out. College, however, is a special place that allows you to experience a wonderfully diverse set of classmates, teachers, classes, and events. If you’re going to a four-year college, you’ll also have the advantage of being in that stimulating environment from age 18 to 22, a very formative period of your life.

There are several ways you can explore your attitudes and preferences while still in high school, though. One way is to find someone who can lead you through an assessment process called the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). The MBTI is a psychological instrument administered and interpreted by qualified professionals. The purpose of the MBTI is to measure your preferences about life and determine the way you like to live. It measures various aspects of your temperament and personality such as how you direct the energy of your life, how you take in information about the world around you, how you make decisions, and how you structure your life.

The end result of the MBTI is a set of numbers and letters that tells you which one of four main temperaments and 16 personality types you are. With this information, then, you can access information that will tell you what kinds of jobs would most likely bring you success and happiness in life. Your school psychologist should know how you could take the MBTI.

Another assessment tool is Strong’s Interest Inventory which measures various aspects of your interests in life. The result is various reports that tell you about which types of professions would be well suited for you. Both Strong’s Inventory and the MBTI can be a big help in answering your questions about what kinds of careers you may wish to pursue. Check with your guidance counselor for more information.

One last thought. Even if you go to college without a clue as to what you want to do, relax. Take advantage of the services offered by your academic advisor. He or she will give you good advice. Ask hard questions. Persist. Remember, when you have a question, don’t hesitate to get the answer.

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Question: Do colleges really pay attention to the roommate preference questions on my college application?

A lot of smaller colleges and universities really do try to match some of your preferences for roommate characteristics. Even some larger schools will try to accommodate your wishes. Don’t expect miracles, though.

The biggest issue for a lot of incoming freshmen is smoking. A number of schools throughout the nation are moving to a smoke-free status. That means smoking is prohibited inside any campus building, most importantly living quarters. If you have a particularly strong preference for a non- smoking roommate or a smoke-free environment, be sure to indicate that on your application. In fact, it might be important enough to become a selection criterion for your candidate schools.

Remember, one of the great aspects of a college education is learning more about different kinds of people. You could play it conservatively and seek to be matched up with a safe carbon copy of yourself. On the other hand, rooming with someone who complements your personal qualities could be quite enlightening, as long as the differences are within reason.

Think about whom your friends are now. These are the kinds of personalities to which you will naturally gravitate when you go to college. Be careful, however, that you don’t limit your college experience by hanging out exclusively with a limited number of personality types. The freshman roommate experience can be a positive experience. That’s why you need to take preference questionnaires seriously.

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Question: What is college dorm life like?

Dorm life at college can be exhilarating, and it can be exasperating. Most of the time, though, it’s somewhere in between.

Ah, memories of my freshman year in the dorms: all-night bull sessions about everything from childhood fears to our ideal jobs, sleeping on the floor of a friend’s room because my roommate deposited his supper on our room’s floor after some hard partying, getting to know people with whom, even today (three decades later), I correspond, and the dances, football games, spring days, and . . .

You get the picture. Dorms are sort of a benign boot camp for young, idealistic freshmen. Every year, all across America, millions of strangers are asked to share their lives and living habits for nine months during a year of stress and adventure. ‘Almost sounds like a recruiting ad for the Navy, doesn’t it?

The truth about dorm life is that it’s mostly what you make of it. Sure, you can get stuck with a roommate whom you not only dislike but who is also the biggest slob (or neat freak) you’ll ever see. Colleges and universities have ways to fix problems between terminally incompatible roomies. They usually reassign the parties involved, but only after the situation has been judged to be beyond repair.

Dorm life is about patience, compromise, and giving. When both parties (or sometimes three or four in the same room complex) have these qualities, life can be a whole lot less stressful.
Dorm rooms are a combination of library, recreation room, bedroom, and haven from the storms of the first year of college. They’re truly an all-purpose room.

So, get ready to live in the dorms. You may be able to live off campus next year, or the year after that. Even though you may think that’s the way to go, don’t waste the big chance to experience life in the dorm lane.

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