It’s not “customary” for students to formally thank the teachers who wrote their recommendations, but it should be. This is a time-consuming task that is rarely an official part of a faculty duty-roster. Occasionally students do write notes or even give gifts to their recommenders, but an astounding majority barely offer more than a mumbled, “Thanks”–if that.

A brief note is a perfect form of thanks, but avoid cards and comments that are merely “generic.” In other words, instead of letting Hallmark do the talking for you or simply saying something like, “I really appreciate the time you took from your busy schedule to write my college references,” add a couple sentences that are more personal: e.g., “From the moment you said you were a Seinfeld fan, the very first day of AP Chem, I knew that I was going to love being in your class and that you would be a special teacher …”

You don’t have to get a gift unless something springs immediately to mind. For instance, if the teacher is always expressing love for a particular sports team, then a t-shirt, cap, key chain, refrigerator magnet, etc. might be in order. If the teacher is a self-proclaimed chocoholic, a small box of great candy would be perfect. But, as a former teacher myself, I assure you that a present is not required. I used to haul home box loads of Avon perfume and scented soaps, but the only gifts I really remember were those that were truly tailored to me. For instance, the students in my classroom used to laugh about how the posters on the wall were always falling down, so one girl gave me some heavy-duty gummy gunk that far surpassed the loops of masking tape I ordinarily used. A coffee mug or other small memento from the college you’ll be attending would be a cute gift, too, and an apt reminder to your teacher that he or she helped to get you there.

In addition to thanking your teachers, it’s a nice touch to officially thank anyone else who also went the extra mile during your college process. This could include your guidance counselor and perhaps a guidance office secretary. If someone in any office of admission also went out of the way for you, a note would be a nice gesture as well. Then, of course, there are your parents. I suspect that they would be very moved by a formal thank-you from you … perhaps shocked as well, but definitely touched.

Although you may be one of only few students who sends formal thank-yous to those who aided your college process, it’s definitely the right thing to do. Teachers, especially, will notice and appreciate your thoughtfulness, and not only is this good karma for you, but also you never know when you may need their recommendations yet again.

Good luck to you as you make your final college choice and the big transition that follows.

The most selective colleges (and, this, of course, includes the Ivy League) are looking for students who have “challenged themselves academically.” Trust me, you’ll see that phrase 100 times or more before your last application is finished, even if you’re never completely sure what it means.

In short, this is how “challenge” translates in admission-committee meetings: Your applications will include a section for your guidance counselor to indicate whether your academic program is “Most Demanding,” “Very Demanding,” “Demanding,” “Average” or “Below Average” when compared to what is offered at your high school. Not surprisingly, unless you can kick a 50-yard field goal, run a sub-four-minute mile, or can boast of other unique talents (or of a very atypical background), then your best bet, with your lofty admission goals, is to elect a course load that will fall under the “Most Demanding” heading.

Many sophomores–even those applying to the uber-selective schools–do not take any AP classes in grade 10, though most of them do elect a “Most Demanding” sophomore schedule. (AP’s are not widely offered to 10th graders.) Two AP’s in grade 11 and three in Grade 12 would be considered “normal” (or, in some high schools, even “below normal”) for Ivy aspirants.

While you make clear that you are passing up your high school’s single AP–and why–I’m not sure if you have also decided to pass up honors classes in other subjects as well. If you are taking the “regular” college prep classes and no honors, will that put you on a “track” that could make it hard for you to jump off and into honors next year? While, as noted above, lots of sophomores don’t take AP’s, most Ivy-bound 10th graders do take a full slate of honors classes, when available.

So, before your schedule is set in stone, check with your guidance counselor to see if the academic program you’re mapping out will earn the “Most Demanding” designation at your school. Even if your sophomore classes will be considered only “Very Demanding” because you haven’t chosen the one available AP, that doesn’t matter to admission folks, as long as your junior and senior class choices will put you on “Most Demanding” turf.

But, above all, keep mind that your health and sanity are more important than your prospective college plans. If your final course roster seems to cry out “Way too stressful!” and not just “Very challenging!” then you should reconsider your options, regardless of the college verdicts that loom.

Remember, too, that there are other ways to show off your academic passions. For instance, independent summer research projects or summer courses in areas of interest will allow you to pursue favorite fields, demonstrate your commitment to them, and keep your brain active at a time when the sun is hot but the heat is off.

Most colleges do not interview sophomores, but sometimes this policy can be flexible when there are extenuating circumstances such as yours. Contact the admission official in charge of your geographic region at each of the schools you’ll be seeing. (The admission office receptionist can give you the name and contact info, if it’s not on the Web site.) Tell him or her about the family trip and ask if an exception might be possible. In doing so:

-Be sure to ask an admissions officer for this exception, not the receptionist who might ordinarily schedule interviews since this is a policy decision which a receptionist may not be authorized to make.

-If you feel that you are an especially strong candidate for a particular college, you should try to include this information as well when you contact the admission official. You don’t have to say anything brash like, “To know me is to love me,” but you could mention in passing that you are a straight-A student or that you’ve taken PSAT’s already and feel that you’ll be in well within that college’s “admit range,” etc.

Finally, when you say that you live “really far” from the colleges that you’ll be visiting, be sure that we’re talking some serious miles. “Far” can be a relative term, and each family may view it differently. I’ve worked with students in Queens, NY, who think Philadelphia is “really far” from home … “even too far” … although the fittest of the lot could probably get there on a bicycle.

Don’t be surprised if the admission officials you contact recommend that you attend an info session on campus and take a tour with your sister but ask you to schedule an interview with an alumnus close to home next year rather than allowing one on campus for a sophomore. However, you may find that the practices will vary from school to school, so it certainly doesn’t hurt to ask.

Good luck and safe travels

That’s a tough call because there are advantages to waiting until you have the strongest possible transcript but there are also advantages, as you suggest, to the “first-come, first-served” approach, and classes do fill up quickly at some places. However, if you were a borderline applicant (or perhaps even below that) before you got your latest grades, then waiting was probably the best strategy. I’d need a lot more information about your overall profile in order to weigh in responsibly on your admission odds and on whether or not you were wise to wait till now to apply. But, from what I do know, it sounds like you did the right thing.

One other thing you can do to help your cause would be to write to each of those three colleges immediately and explain why you waited. Tell each admission official** that this college has been on your radar screen–and high on your list–since last year but you wanted to prove that your 9th/10th grade transcript was not reflective of what you’re capable of achieving. Ask them to please not construe your February application as any indication that they were a last-minute choice. Emphasize that your latest grades confirm your continuing upward trend, so that you’re happy to be able to submit these new grades and you hope that you won’t be penalized for waiting.

That’s a best-of-both-worlds solution, in my opinion. The colleges will see your “upward curve,” and they’ll also view you as a thoughtful and committed candidate, not an 11th-hour slacker.

** Ideally, you will call each college and ask for the name of the admission official who oversees your high school and geographic region, if you don’t already know it. Then send your letter directly to him or to her. Snail-mail is preferable, but you can also do an e-mail duplicate to make sure the message is received. First write the snail-mail letter. Then copy it into an e-mail message but add a preface along the lines of, “I already sent this letter to you via snail-mail, but because time is of the essence, I’m pasting it into this e-mail as well to make sure it reaches you as efficiently and promptly as possible. If you do get both versions, I apologize for the overkill.”

Good luck and let me know how you make out.

This is a confusing issue that raises hackles throughout the admissions world. Yes, technically, colleges that subscribe to the May 1 candidates’ reply date can, nonetheless, demand a deposit, as long as they give it back, should the student withdraw by May 1.

Colleges often claim to ask for your money early because of a possible housing crunch. They say they want to get an advance sense of how many freshman dorm rooms they will need. But, frankly, I think colleges probably do this to try to find out how serious their applicants really are and to weed out the ones who will definitely not enroll and who know this early on. These days, many students apply to an uber-long list of colleges and often have more than one safety school. Applicants who get good news quickly from several colleges are likely to eliminate one or more of them right away. Therefore, if a college receives a deposit from you well before May 1–even a fully refundable one–it sends a little message that suggests, “This school is still in the running.” Even if the college admission folks can’t completely count on the fact that you’ll show up in September, this helps give them at least a rough estimate of who might come and who definitely won’t.

Frankly, I’m not a big fan of this approach. When students get this sort of requirement from more than one college, they may be financially pinched to submit multiple deposits while they decide on a final choice. And even those who can afford several deposits still have the hassle of sending them and then retrieving the refunds, once they’ve reached their May 1 verdict.

But, at least for now, the colleges aren’t listening to me, and they are allowed to demand your money, as long as they give it back if you say, “Never mind” before May 1. I suspect that, like Staples, and AT&T and all those other folks who offer “rebates” on their assorted products, the colleges, too, are probably hoping that, in the excitement of making your final college choices, you may forget to reclaim your dough.

Yes, ask your counselor (nicely, of course) to explain the situation and resubmit a Midyear Report once you get your revised grades. You can also write to the colleges yourself, tell them why you received the Incomplete, and give them the heads-up that an amendment from your counselor with an explanation should be forthcoming. If you go to a large public school or to any school where the guidance counselors carry a big counseling load, you can make a little bit of a joke about that in your note … something like, “I know that officially this should come from my counselor, and–eventually it will–but with 691 students per staff member around here, you probably won’t be surprised to know that things can move glacially.”

Also, you might want to mention what your illness was IF it was something that admission folks won’t be wary of (e.g, they might be wary of depression, anorexia, stickittotheman-neosis … anything that sounds like an ongoing issue that you’ll bring to campus with you. If your had flu, strep throat, hemorrhoids … or whatever won’t impact their community six or seven months from now … no problem).

Unless the donation in question is a real biggie (much larger than any of the numbers you’ve mentioned) I don’t see it making a significant difference in admission outcomes. However, the fact that your husband does lend some support to his alma mater each year could have a small effect on your son’s verdict down the road. In other words, the support itself counts more than the dollar amount … unless we’re talking the really serious bucks. So if your son is a borderline candidate, teetering between the “In” and “Out” piles, then his legacy status will work in his favor, and the fact that your husband has maintained this connection might be the plus that puts your son just ahead of other legacy contenders.

Another thing your husband might consider doing is getting more involved with his college in additional ways. Perhaps he could chair a reunion, volunteer to contact classmates to help with fund-raising efforts, offer internship positions to undergrads, etc. If he takes an active role in such affairs, it may not carry a lot of clout in the admission office when your son’s application is first reviewed, but should your son get deferred after applying Early Decision or wait-listed in the spring, it might provide your husband with some extra ammunition, should he want to rattle some cages then.

Keep in mind, of course, that at the highly selective schools, there are always far more qualified active-alumni-offspring applicants than the college is prepared to admit, and many good ones get turned away, despite strong applications and legacy hooks. Keep in mind, too, that your husband may dutifully send his annual checks and even handle the hassles of reunion planning only to find that Junior has some plans of his own when it comes time to make his college choices.

Send the new score if you like it. In fact, to expedite matters, if you have a good relationship with your guidance counselor, ask him or her to fax, phone, or email the score to your colleges as soon as you see it or include it in your mid-year school report, if that hasn’t gone out yet. Since the score won’t be on the Web until mid-Feb., you’ll want colleges to have it as soon as possible. The score isn’t mandatory, so it’s fine to have it sent by your counselor to make sure it arrives quickly. A self-report by you, however, will not be considered valid.

You won’t be penalized for sending a score post-deadline if it’s not a required test. Some colleges will pay more attention to it than others will, but there’s no down side to sending it in and letting the colleges decide how they will treat it. (Note also that some colleges allow January test scores even if their deadlines have passed by the time they get them.)

In the admissions world, there are both pros and cons to your situation. In the plus column, this will give you the chance to show admission committees that you are flexible and able to adjust to changing circumstances (assuming, of course, that you are). If your moves involved relocating to different countries–or to very different places within the same country–then this could work in your favor, too, because, again, it will allow you to show off uncommon adaptability and varied experiences. (This could be brought out in an essay, in a supplementary unsolicited essay or letter, or in your school counselor and/or teacher references.)

Of course, depending on why you moved around, there could be a down side to your nomadic life. If you were bounced from school to school due to academic, social, or disciplinary problems, then–in the immortal words of Ricky Ricardo (whom you are way too young to remember, unless you watch old 50’s sitcoms on cable TV)–you’re going to have “a lot of ’splainin’” to do.

In fact, even if you were a top-notch student and model citizen at each of your four schools, there are probably some irregularities that will require an explanation. For instance, did you have to change foreign languages because a new school didn’t offer what an old one did? Or did you take math classes out of sequence? Did you have to give up any other class you wanted to take because you arrived at a new school too late to take it? Did you leave or start some of your schools in the middle of year? That can cause extra transcript confusion, too. Don’t be shy about writing an extra letter or using the “Additional Information” space that you’ll find on most applications to provide details of all anomalies.

Finally, take heart: Most admission officials will be very sympathetic to the disruption in your life. They realize that being the “new kid” over and over can be tough, and they’ll be even more sympathetic if your relocation was due to family problems, illness, death, etc. And, even if you loved moving from school to school and are happy that you had the chance to have varied adventures and lots of different friends, they will still understand the challenges these transitions posed. So don’t be afraid to point out the problems your frequent school moves may have engendered, but also do your best to put a positive spin on all of it … highlighting the ways in which it helped you to learn and grow.

Good luck with your college outcomes. (But, if you’re not happy where you land, you probably won’t be afraid to transfer )

We’ve all heard of the “January Thaw,” which those of us in the Northeast look forward to each year (though, so far, we’re still seeing single-digit lows here in New England). But there’s also a “”January Panic.” That’s when seniors learn that critical components of their applications have not arrived in admission offices even though deadlines have passed.

Much of this panic is caused by the colleges themselves. It can sometimes take weeks for all materials to be properly filed and documented, yet students and school counselors may be notified nonetheless that application pieces are missing, but without being advised that everything has not yet been entered in the school’s tracking system.

So, if you find out that your application materials aren’t where they’re supposed to be, try not to panic, but do spring into action:

1) Ask an admissions office staff member if you should wait a few days (and, if yes, how long) or replace the materials pronto. Get the name of the person you spoke with and record it, along with the time and day of the conversation.

2) If the answer is “Wait,” then call back on the appointed date. You may be relieved to find out that the missing item has miraculously appeared. If not, then it’s time to re-submit it.

3) If the missing materials are those that were (allegedly) sent by others (transcripts, references, etc.), then do double-check (as politely as possible) to make sure that they were really submitted (and when). You should also mention the possibility of a re-send in a few days, if the stuff doesn’t show up soon.

Although application deadlines may now be behind you, you will not be penalized for late materials that went missing, as long as you respond promptly. And, remember, it is up to YOU to make sure that your applications are complete. Some colleges make this easy by providing PIN-protected tracking options on their Web sites or by sending confirmations through the mail or via e-mail. But, in many cases, it’s best to bite the bullet and telephone the admission offices, if you haven’t already heard that all is well. So, yes, I’m afraid you should call all of your other schools to see if your counselor reference arrived.

Also in your case, since your counselor has already offered to send another reference to your top-choice college, you might as well accept her offer, even though there’s a good chance that the college in question will find it eventually. Put her on alert to re-submit it to your other schools, too, if you find out that it’s also missing elsewhere. Sure, it’s likely that all of these schools may end up with two identical references, but—assuming that it’s a glowing one—that might actually work in your favor.