Avoiding the Child-Abuse Police

Want to start a fight? The next time you're in mixed company, just bring up the fact that you're keeping a sharp eye on your grade schooler, looking for some early signs of precociousness. Who will that flush out? Of course: The Loud Angry Voice from Offstage.

Loud Angry Voice from Offstage: "What's wrong with you?! Let the kid have a childhood, for cryin' out loud. You're gonna warp his mind. Who do you think you are, B.F. Skinner?!"

No, we're not all B.F. Skinners. Some of us, however, do feel that our kids are, indeed, special and have deep reservoirs of potential. We're the kinds of parents who, when we see our kid push a toy fire truck up the sliding board, see him creating potential energy rather than misbehaving. We're not self-centered, elitist head shrinkers; we're curious, nurturing, loving observers. To us, our kids aren't data; they're destined.

So, then, fair warning to all those out there who will come at us armed with their Intention Search Warrants: Please understand us. We're not frustrated behavioral psychologists. We're not trying to live our lives through our kids (see VKS later on). We're not exploiting their lives for our own selfish stage-mother/father ends. Truth is, we love our kids very much. We want to facilitate their complete "becoming," or, to use a psychological term, their self-actualization. Maybe that's because we didn't "become" who we are, ourselves, until mid-life, if at all.

Life is filled with crossroads, mysterious locked doors, and buried treasure. When we think of our kids and the life that lies ahead for them, we just want to be a signpost, a key, and a metal detector. So please, Voice, take your warrant back to headquarters and let us get on with the business of discovering our kids.

>> Next: Child Individuality & College Success